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Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated. |
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| The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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17-06-2008, 09:55 AM
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#1 | ||
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1-2-3-(er)5?
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: QLD
Posts: 94
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WHAT JOKES DO YOU KNOW?
Hi everyone, Just thought I'd start this thread for some light comedy relief  Q. What 2 planets do politicians come from? A. Saturn Uranus (excerpt from "How to perform Brain Surgery on a Holden Driver") Step 1: "Make sure buttocks are not obscured....."
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DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD UNTIE! SERIOUS FUN * 2003 BA Mk I XT 4.0L Auto Wagon * 1986 XF GL 4.0L Auto Wagon |
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17-06-2008, 10:27 AM
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Tribal Elder
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Yarrambat
Posts: 2,278
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I know "Sourbarsted" lol
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17-06-2008, 10:54 AM
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Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
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Quote:
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1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan 1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack 2003 BA Fairlane G220 Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM |
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17-06-2008, 01:27 PM
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Donating Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 4,523
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Quote:
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Oooh baby living in Miami....
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17-06-2008, 01:27 PM
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#5 | ||
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Donating Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 4,523
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Two baby seals walked into a club......
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Oooh baby living in Miami....
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18-10-2008, 10:38 AM
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Lyminge, Shepway, Kent
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Geelong - Go Cats
Posts: 3,197
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Quote:
Canadian Club on the rocks |
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27-10-2008, 11:02 PM
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Regular Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 203
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Quote:
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17-06-2008, 10:32 AM
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Life's a Gas
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2,029
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I know Belinda Neal.
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17-06-2008, 10:32 AM
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 575
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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane?
A: The pilot you racist |
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17-06-2008, 10:46 AM
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Life's a Gas
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2,029
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Deleted.
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17-06-2008, 10:49 AM
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#11 | ||
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Back where I belong
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Mexico - Victoria
Posts: 947
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Why did Billy fall off his bike
Cause someone threw a fridge at him.
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Regards Craig |
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02-10-2009, 02:07 PM
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WAGONE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 426
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Two mates are on the roof of a building one of them says "watch this".... he throws a brick off the roof and yells "FALLING BRICK".... the brick smashes on the gound.
He hands a brick to his mate who has a chronic stutter, he then throws the brick off and yells "F.......F......F.....F....F..u.c.k........... i hit him! |
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17-06-2008, 10:54 AM
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Cane Farmer
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Tom Price, WA
Posts: 4,056
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Two irish women are knitting jumpers for their babies that are yet to be born.
One turns to the other and says: I hope my baby is a boy, because I used blue wool. The other one replies: Well, I hope mine is a retard cause I stuffed up the sleeves.
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1994 ED XR6T - Cobalt Blue. 2009 FG XR6 - Black. Quote:
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17-06-2008, 11:59 AM
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GRRRR.....
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,158
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What do you do if you see a spaceman?
Park the car man....
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Now - 2007Renault Megane sedan, Steel Gray, 19" Koya Ambush with 235/35R19 Yokohama ADVAN V103, Eibach Pro-Kit. Gone but not forgotton - Diamond White 2004 LX Fiesta If you sneeze with your eyes open, do your eyes pop out??
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17-06-2008, 06:30 PM
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Shittarton
Posts: 1,217
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How does it change many dyslexics to take a light-bulb?
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17-06-2008, 06:40 PM
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Shittarton
Posts: 1,217
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A woman goes into her local music store looking for an old record; behind the counter is small young boy.
She says: "Excuse me sonny, but do you have Jingle Bells on a 7 inch?" He says: "No, but I've got dangling balls on a 9 inch." "That's not a record is it?" "It is for a 10 year old." http://www.sickipedia.org/index.php |
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17-06-2008, 06:45 PM
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Formerly XG-Panelvanman
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Im in Cranbourne,VIC.
Posts: 476
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in stiches and its only the first page but im curious to see how long this lasts... do the mods have the same sense of humor
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My Ride: BA MK2 Wagon, dedicated LPG, white. modifications: cargo barriers, tow bar |
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17-06-2008, 11:04 PM
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Well hello Mr Fancypants
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Perth
Posts: 1,066
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Quote:
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1965 Ford Anglia 1980 Ford Escort RS2000 2006 Mazda SP23 2012 Ford Focus ST |
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17-06-2008, 06:49 PM
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#19 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,033
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I once threw my input into a similar joke thrad, my post lasted about 5 min.
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17-06-2008, 07:02 PM
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#20 | ||
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GRRRR.....
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,158
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:evil3: :monkes:
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Now - 2007Renault Megane sedan, Steel Gray, 19" Koya Ambush with 235/35R19 Yokohama ADVAN V103, Eibach Pro-Kit. Gone but not forgotton - Diamond White 2004 LX Fiesta If you sneeze with your eyes open, do your eyes pop out??
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17-06-2008, 07:06 PM
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Peter Car
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: geelong
Posts: 23,145
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Holdens go better.
Thats a hilarious joke. |
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17-06-2008, 07:05 PM
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Smells like burnt rubber
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 76
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Whats brown and sticky?
A stick
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Loud Pipes save Lives |
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17-06-2008, 07:08 PM
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#23 | ||
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Smells like burnt rubber
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 76
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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, whats with the long face?
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Loud Pipes save Lives |
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17-06-2008, 07:10 PM
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#24 | ||
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Smells like burnt rubber
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 76
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A bloke walks into the butchers and says, you got a sheeps head, the butcher says, no mate, its just the way i part my hair
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Loud Pipes save Lives |
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17-06-2008, 07:13 PM
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#25 | ||
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GT
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: SYDNEY
Posts: 9,205
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this is a humourous true story. it happened to my brother .
he went and got a security licence in the hope of a career change . anyhow at the 1st security job interview , he was in a waiting room , with about 20 other hopefuls waiting for an interview . a WOMAN walks in and walks up to the receptionist saying she's here for the security job. the woman behind the reception desk , says she'll have to wait her turn and there are a few in front of her . i dont have time for that she says . heres my number, tell him i'll suck his c#%$k. , and then she walked out . all the men looked at each other in the waiting room , and atleast 1/2 of them walked out of the room and left. i laughed my head off when he told me this . |
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17-06-2008, 07:22 PM
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#26 | ||||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 2,602
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Quote:
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Quote:
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17-06-2008, 07:22 PM
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#27 | ||
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Getahaircutandgetarealjob
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Newcastle area, NSW
Posts: 123
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walked into a bar.
You'd think one of them wold have seen it and ducked.
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Te pilos recidene volo et opus solidus capere  :
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17-06-2008, 08:28 PM
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#28 | ||
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Mr old phart
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Northern Terrorist
Posts: 1,715
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An elephant walks into a bar.
The barman says "Geez, I thought the horse had a long face." An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman say "Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?" How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Let's set fire to something!
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An object at rest cannot be stopped!! BA GT-P Blueprint |
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17-06-2008, 08:54 PM
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#29 | ||
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1-2-3-(er)5?
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: QLD
Posts: 94
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1ST SKIER ASKS OTHER SKIER, BACK IN THE CABIN: "Mate, I'm dyslexic, how do you know when to zig ,and when to zag?"
OTHER SKIER: "I don't know, I'm a tobogganist!" 1ST SKIER: "Oh....OK....What luck!, I''l have a packet of Marlboro and a box of matches!" Blonde walks into library: "I'll have a hamburger and fries, please" Assistant (Whispers): "This is a library" Blonde (Whispers): "Sorry, I'll have a hamburger and fries, please"
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DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD UNTIE! SERIOUS FUN * 2003 BA Mk I XT 4.0L Auto Wagon * 1986 XF GL 4.0L Auto Wagon Last edited by guitarman; 17-06-2008 at 09:02 PM. |
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17-06-2008, 09:28 PM
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#30 | ||
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1-2-3-(er)5?
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: QLD
Posts: 94
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IMPO'TANT MESSAGE: (has to be spoken in southern US of A accent!)
Dr to Ranch Master: "Colonel, I've checked all your slaves, and they're all fine, except for Rastus - He's impotent!" (Ranch Master calls Rastus in) "Rastus, I've called you in here because you're impotent!" (Rastus races out, then comes back 5 mins later, dressed in a 3-piece suit) Ranch Master: "What on earth are you doing?" Rastus: "Well, Boss, if you think I am impo'tant, I might as well look impo'tant".
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DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD UNTIE! SERIOUS FUN * 2003 BA Mk I XT 4.0L Auto Wagon * 1986 XF GL 4.0L Auto Wagon |
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What jokes do you know?
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