Moments that make you take a step back

grandpa_spec_F6 · 15-05-2011, 09:52 PM

This may sound strange, but I like the cemetery.

Wide open spaces, green grass and complete peace and quiet from the otherwise hectic outside would, a place to contemplate life.

Yesterday afternoon I was at the cemetery with the other half visiting some of the now departed family, and while there we decided to pay our respects to someone else we knew of who recently passed away.

While walking amongst the plots, with all the little memorial bits and pieces placed around them, I was stopped in my tracks by a fresh burial plot, not because of who it was, but what was on it.

Among the flowers was a single red P-Plate, broken at the top with a zippy tie through the hole, for some reason this left me standing there like a stunned mullet.

As I've only been off my P-Plates for 6 months, I began to think about how many times I'd done something stupid and nearly lost it, past and present bad driving habits, what I've seen mates do and how indestructible we all think we are... something about that single red P on a grave hit me harder than any road safety campaign I've seen, or talking to from Mr Plod I've had.

Now it's over to you all, what moments have made you take a step back?

GSAU

Mr Hardware · 16-05-2011, 08:49 AM

When the dude that worked in your office died about 18months before retirement, earlier this year.

DJR David · 16-05-2011, 11:17 AM

Like any father, the moment my first child was born....

**Polyal** · 16-05-2011, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJR David

Like any father, the moment my first child was born....

Yeah, or even finding out your going to be.

Psi-Pop · 16-05-2011, 12:28 PM

For me it was visiting Anzac cove last year and reading through all the head stones. Seeing ages younger than I am (23) from places around my area and how things have changed. How they went half way around the world to a war to fight for what we have now, when people my age now are getting drunk and breaking glasses on peoples heads.

grandpa_spec_F6 · 16-05-2011, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi-Pop

<snip>......when people my age now are getting drunk and breaking glasses on peoples heads.

Hear Hear

gcg2503 · 16-05-2011, 12:34 PM

9/11 and the first Tsunami did that for me

84xespac · 16-05-2011, 01:14 PM

I have to agree that the birth of your a child changes everything.
The following is very sad and I don't want to bring anyone down with what I am about to write so if you are easly upset please don't read further, however this was the real moment in my life that made me step back and realise how precious life really is.....

When I was in my early 20's like most I was 15ft tall and bullet proof, nothing could faise me. My 1st son was born and this did settle me down a little but I still believed I was bullet proof and to be honest maybe even some what immortal. Any way 3 months after my son was born we lost him to sids and all of a sudden I realised then and there that I'm not immortal and if death could happen to someone so young and my son to boot that it could happen to me as well. That day changed my life for ever. I am not saying I don't take risks because I do but it certainly made me take a step back and think about things and there conciquences before I do.

ltd · 16-05-2011, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 84xespac

I have to agree that the birth of your a child changes everything.
The following is very sad and I don't want to bring anyone down with what I am about to write so if you are easly upset please don't read further, however this was the real moment in my life that made me step back and realise how precious life really is.....

When I was in my early 20's like most I was 15ft tall and bullet proof, nothing could faise me. My 1st son was born and this did settle me down a little but I still believed I was bullet proof and to be honest maybe even some what immortal. Any way 3 months after my son was born we lost him to sids and all of a sudden I realised then and there that I'm not immortal and if death could happen to someone so young and my son to boot that it could happen to me as well. That day changed my life for ever. I am not saying I don't take risks because I do but it certainly made me take a step back and think about things and there conciquences before I do.

Thanks for posting, I'm truly sorry for your loss.

FTE72 · 16-05-2011, 01:45 PM

When a bloke that I worked with dropped stone dead from a coronary, in the Factory 2 mins after I had been talking to him about his weekend.
Here one minute gone the next.
Made me ease up on the career push a bit. Work to live, not live to work.(have to remind myself occasionally)
Sorry to hear 84xespac.

TheSneakiness · 16-05-2011, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 84xespac

I have to agree that the birth of your a child changes everything.
The following is very sad and I don't want to bring anyone down with what I am about to write so if you are easly upset please don't read further, however this was the real moment in my life that made me step back and realise how precious life really is.....

When I was in my early 20's like most I was 15ft tall and bullet proof, nothing could faise me. My 1st son was born and this did settle me down a little but I still believed I was bullet proof and to be honest maybe even some what immortal. Any way 3 months after my son was born we lost him to sids and all of a sudden I realised then and there that I'm not immortal and if death could happen to someone so young and my son to boot that it could happen to me as well. That day changed my life for ever. I am not saying I don't take risks because I do but it certainly made me take a step back and think about things and there conciquences before I do.

Quoted for truth.

grandpa_spec_F6 · 16-05-2011, 01:27 PM

I haven't had kids yet however I've been told that nothing can prepare you for it.

Thank you for sharing 84xespac, can't imagine how tough that would have been.

69XWGT · 16-05-2011, 02:23 PM

Birth of my boy.

Watching a guy on a motorbike doing something stupid (130 plus in an 80 zone)and paying the ultimate price. Breathing one minute , broken the next

SEZ213 · 16-05-2011, 03:11 PM

I am who I am because of those moments that have made me step back. Those moments that you wish you could change, even years on. I don't regret the path my life has followed, but I sure as hell don't want to go through the last fifteen years of my life again. It's hard to pick which one has shaped me more.

For me, it's the realisation that despite what's happened throughout my life, that I'm not alone in what I've been through. Some days it's a chore to get up in the morning and paint on that cheerful face so the world doesn't know how much it hurts, but for others it's the waking up that never happens. I lost many friends to suicide and road deaths, and I've had my own personal trauma's that girls don't really like to talk about, with anyone, letalone share with strangers, but that 'big click' moment was nearly losing my brother.

He has Alports syndrome (a genetic kidney disease) and to counteract his high blood pressure from the dialysis, he was given medication to lower it. They worked in reverse, and he ended up in the ICU in Melbourne on the verge of a stroke. They induced a coma to stop his seizures, and when we first arrived in Melbourne, they told us we should say goodbye. He's my only sibling, and to have to sit back and watch, but be able to do nothing, just about killed me. I'm not religious, but those are the days that you pray, regardless of your beliefs.

MO · 16-05-2011, 04:09 PM

Big man hugs to you all.
My story is posted somewhere here on the forum but long story short I've got the Big C long term survivor so far.

pottery beige · 16-05-2011, 02:47 PM

partying hard at a younger buddies 21st.... then being all ****** up at their funeral very soon afterwards when they've topped themselves.. wtf.......

Jim Goose · 16-05-2011, 04:59 PM

Have had a few of those moments... the last one was when the old man passed away.

But when I was in my mid 20s a work mate (who was 35 at the time) died within weeks of being told he had bowl cancer.

Also a while later watching a patient die in the back of the plane as we sat at Bowen airstrip at 10pm. We were a medivac flight. The doctor and nurse tried for 30mins. He was an Ag pilot who crashed his crop duster that day.

sirlc6 · 16-05-2011, 08:12 PM

The moment for me is when the police knock on the door to tell me my younger brother passed away in a car accident. And had to get my parents details to go tell them. All this happen 5 days before Christmas. Then 6 months later my grandfather passed away from cancer. I never really got to know him very well. These and birth of my daughter have made me take steps back and think twice about things I do.
Cheers Paul.

craigxr8 · 16-05-2011, 08:37 PM

Lost my Dad 2 years ago (i was 18, 21 in a couple months now) to a unfortunate motorbike accident (was doing nothing wrong just had to correct his placement because of a car going wide in the opposite direction around a corner in the hills and he went off the road).

That made me step back and realize even people that never do any harm or drive/ride safe 100% of the time can still be involved in an accident and be taken away.

It made me realize to cherish every moment with loved ones cause you never know when they might be taken away from you. To this day i have never been able to say goodbye to him

familybus · 16-05-2011, 09:38 PM

wow!

my hat goes off to you guys

my situation not as bad as most of you but how weird that i just came across this thread after what happind early this morning to me!

ive got a 10 year old son turning 11 this thursday and yes as most hes a handfull!

i try to make time for him but theres alot to do in the day and not enough hours.........UNTILL

without going into detail, my old mans not well and i love him like no other and for certain reasons it is impossible to go visit him even though hes not more than 20mins away!

this morning around 4am i was wide awake and freezing because i remember pulling my leg back into bed cause it was frozin and next thing i know...........

im standing in the backyard in the warm sunlight and see my dad walking off the backsteps towards me dressed formally with a dressy shirt, dressy pants, a tie and looking very healthy and a couple of years younger.
hes not smilling and has a serious yet care free look!

i woke up in hysterics yelling out for my dad and crying

today i made damn sure i spent time with my boy before school, after school kicking the ball, booked him a flight to his godfather for his birthday this week and made sure i told him i love him hundreds of times!

i rang my brother so he could contact my dad and make sure hes ok and i got a message back sayin hes not well but hes ok!

damn rough way to snap out of a too busy to take a step back lifestyle but glad in a way i did!

b2tf · 16-05-2011, 09:45 PM

Im currently experiencing one of these 'moments' and have been doing so for the past week.

My fiancee left me a week ago today, its a bloody ordinary thing to deal with and it very much took me by surprise. I wont go into specifics but what I will say is that there are so many things I would do differently or not do altogether if I could take it all back. Easy to say now.

I am now in the middle of a huge dilemma as I have just been offered a dream job that will also mean I have to leave town - and leave her behind. I can't bring myself to do that just yet but there is a long way to go and I don't feel like I have any idea of what to do.

If you're in a relationship take a step back and look at things - take your partner out for a fantastic evening this Friday night like I wish I could with mine.

DBourne · 16-05-2011, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by b2tf

Im currently experiencing one of these 'moments' and have been doing so for the past week.

My fiancee left me a week ago today, its a bloody ordinary thing to deal with and it very much took me by surprise. I wont go into specifics but what I will say is that there are so many things I would do differently or not do altogether if I could take it all back. Easy to say now.

I am now in the middle of a huge dilemma as I have just been offered a dream job that will also mean I have to leave town - and leave her behind. I can't bring myself to do that just yet but there is a long way to go and I don't feel like I have any idea of what to do.

If you're in a relationship take a step back and look at things - take your partner out for a fantastic evening this Friday night like I wish I could with mine.

Wow, mate, I am trully sorry for you.

b2tf · 16-05-2011, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SgtBourne

Wow, mate, I am trully sorry for you.

It happens. I love her to bits and we will see if we can work it out but either way right now it is not a fun place to be.

GULL · 17-05-2011, 07:53 PM

Take the job mate,regret is a waste of time,life goes on ! Move on !

Quote:

Originally Posted by b2tf

Im currently experiencing one of these 'moments' and have

been doing so for the past week.

My fiancee left me a week ago today, its a bloody ordinary thing to deal with and it very much took me by surprise. I wont go into specifics but what I will say is that there are so many things I would do differently or not do altogether if I could take it all back. Easy to say now.

I am now in the middle of a huge dilemma as I have just been offered a dream job that will also mean I have to leave town - and leave her behind. I can't bring myself to do that just yet but there is a long way to go and I don't feel like I have any idea of what to do.

If you're in a relationship take a step back and look at things - take your partner out for a fantastic evening this Friday night like I wish I could with mine.

JC · 19-05-2011, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by b2tf

Im currently experiencing one of these 'moments' and have been doing so for the past week.

My fiancee left me a week ago today, its a bloody ordinary thing to deal with and it very much took me by surprise. I wont go into specifics but what I will say is that there are so many things I would do differently or not do altogether if I could take it all back. Easy to say now.

I am now in the middle of a huge dilemma as I have just been offered a dream job that will also mean I have to leave town - and leave her behind. I can't bring myself to do that just yet but there is a long way to go and I don't feel like I have any idea of what to do.

If you're in a relationship take a step back and look at things - take your partner out for a fantastic evening this Friday night like I wish I could with mine.

It's tough, but if you put distance between you it can do one of 3 things:

1. Make her realise she misses you (ie still loves you)
2. Make you realise you don't want/need her
3. Make you realise you miss her but can't do anything about it

You won't know which it will be until you take the step, but if it works out to be 1, and you still have the same feelings for her, or you're also at 3., then distance can be conquered (they have planes, trains, buses and cars for travelling on).

If you stay and nothing happens, you will look back one day and regret the time you wasted and the opportunity you missed. It's a hard one though....

93EB_SXR6 · 19-05-2011, 02:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by b2tf

Im currently experiencing one of these 'moments' and have been doing so for the past week.

My fiancee left me a week ago today, its a bloody ordinary thing to deal with and it very much took me by surprise. I wont go into specifics but what I will say is that there are so many things I would do differently or not do altogether if I could take it all back. Easy to say now.

I am now in the middle of a huge dilemma as I have just been offered a dream job that will also mean I have to leave town - and leave her behind. I can't bring myself to do that just yet but there is a long way to go and I don't feel like I have any idea of what to do.

If you're in a relationship take a step back and look at things - take your partner out for a fantastic evening this Friday night like I wish I could with mine.

If you really think there is a chance, don't go.
Jobs will come and go! (some people will argue that women come and go).
Love is all about sacrifice.

I was offered a job in W.A. (from S.A.), it was a big dollar job for someone my age; ~$1200 a week before tax, living costs free [food, house, work clothes, etc]
I decided not to take it as I'd be leaving my gf of two-and-a-half years behind... I know I'm only a young bloke but I've got a lot of life experiences already and I know money alone will never bring you happiness.

Having said all that, sometimes you just have to let someone go... if they come back, you were meant to be, if not you never were.

Dealing with that will break you, (but) its how you rebuild yourself that counts.

I know I'm ranting here.

grandpa_spec_F6 · 16-05-2011, 11:07 PM

On a more lighter note, another moment that made me take a step back was being about a half hour outside of Warwick at a rest stop.

The difference between the bustling city and the calm of a rural area took me very much by surprise, and got me thinking about the life I was leading.

As FTE72 said, you really do need to work to live, not live to work.

The Yeti · 17-05-2011, 02:23 PM

I've seen some messy stuff, and no big deal and like the other dads I was truly in awww at the birth of my kids.

but the most recent thing that made my jaw drop was on the weekend when my daughters friend cut her self (they were doing somthing stupid down the padock) I walked inside to see my 8yo daughter with the first aid kit on the floor and dressing the wound perfectly.

I've always been a supported of every one being first aid qualified and I've been the family go to guy for this stuff so when my daughter steps up I got a tear in my eye at that.

My son has done a thousand things as well but this is the most recent

Fled74 · 17-05-2011, 03:18 PM

Last year, my youngest daughter (born with Down Syndrome) underwent open heart surgery at 3 months of age. While the surgery went perfectly, an unforeseen complication almost claimed her life. Another emergency surgery took care of the complication and she came home a week later.
Our little trouper is one year old now and flourishing. My wife, my older daughter and I are just amazed at her strength.

bingoTE50 · 17-05-2011, 07:34 PM

Well some sad stories here. I have had some myself , and some good ones as well with two teenagers who are good kids and I feel will make a difference in years to come whatever they choose to do.

But , 1980 when Artie Beetson belted Mick Cronin in the first State of Origin , that WAS a wow moment ....Come on you Blues ....help me here in QLD ...been here seven years and we have been hammered for most of them ....