Spinners... oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...

[Neeek]

I saw my first set a few weeks ago on a Commodore. I thought "hey, those are pretty bloody big and shiny!" and then once he'd stopped they were still... er... going.

Now, I can deal with this, if I close my eyes and try hard enough. I managed to block the episode from my memory. But coming back from the shops a short time ago, I saw another set of huge chrome spinners (20", at a guess), this time attached to an AU Falcon which was also playing host to what I can only describe as the mother of all bodykits. The whole car looked like it had been thrown-up on by Veilside.

As last time, I managed to sit next to it in the traffic, having thought as we came to a stop "that's a bloody horrible looking car you've got there mate, and those wheels are WAY too shiny..." And again, as before, the wheels kept moving even though he wasn't. Only it got worse. He saw me looking at them and then when I looked up at him, he grinned and nodded his head.

NO, NO and thrice NO! I can almost get my head around the whole "bling" thing, but come on! It's verging on the ridiculous, surely. Wheels are soild objects that are meant to go around and around when the car asks them to. Having them spin when the car isn't moving or having them not spin when the car's not moving is, if I might be so bold, the preserve of the ****er. It's a wheel, for God's sake, not an objet d'art!

Yes, yes, I like aftermarket wheels. Give me a set of solid Centerlines and I'll marry your sister. I even like really spangly wheels on modern cars. Sometimes I've been known to appreciate chromed wheels too - and even SUVs with 22" look almost alright.

But I must draw the line with spinners. I have no idea how much they must cost (probably more than my car... each) and I can only really see them suiting a car that... well, I don't think they'd really suit anything.

What's the point? Have I completely missed the point of "bling"? Am I alone in thinking that these overpriced wheels are perhaps the biggest waste of space since large aerofoils on Hyundai Excels? And who the hell actually BUYS them? What sort of person could they possibly be?

I just don't understand it. Next time I see some spinners moving when the car is not, I'm going to take my tyre iron and shove it in their spokes to teach them a lesson, such is the extent to which I find them annoying.

God help me. I think I need a lie down.