What jokes do you know?

[Mickxr8]

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness... Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your ********** was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."



The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new **********. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."



The man perks up. "So," the doctor says,"You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."



The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"



"Yes I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes" says the man.

"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.




"We're getting granite benchtops."