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The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat

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Old 28-02-2005, 05:02 PM   #1
normell
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Default Try These then

An Oriental was trying to exchange yen for dollars and asked the teller,"Why it change, yestoday I get two hunat dollar fo yen - today I get a hunat eighty?"

The tellers says, "Fluctuations."

The Oriental says, "Fluc you white guys too!"

BLONDE IN A BMW

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

IRISH DAUGHTER

The Irishman's daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her; " Where have you been all this
time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us
know how you were doing? Why didn't you call?You little tramp! Don't
you know what you put your Mum through??!!"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a
prostitute..."
"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace
to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"
"Okay, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur
coat, title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account
certificate for 5 million pounds. For my little brother, this gold
Rolex, and for you, Daddy, the spanking new Mercedes limited edition
convertible that's parked outside, plus a lifetime membership to the
Country Club. (takes a breath) .. and an invitation for you all to spend
New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."
"Now what was it you said you had become?"
The girl, crying again, replied, "Sniff, sniff .. A prostitute Dad! .
Sniff, sniff ."
"Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said
"a Protestant". Come here and give your old man a hug!"

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on
Alzheimer's research.
This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with
perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to
do with them...


THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
To which he Blonde replies, "HellOOOOOOO. They're watch dogs!"
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Old 28-02-2005, 05:31 PM   #2
FordFan86
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:

this is just to make the message longer, do not read it.
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Old 28-02-2005, 05:37 PM   #3
LUXO_8
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LMFAO

love that last blond joke thats mad
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Old 28-02-2005, 07:34 PM   #4
big_pete
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Quote:
He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
awsome!!
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Old 28-02-2005, 08:39 PM   #5
Peuty
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hahaah you strike again normell
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Old 28-02-2005, 09:51 PM   #6
rob_o
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HAHAHA love the carburettor one!
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Old 01-03-2005, 12:44 PM   #7
TheOtherHalf
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A messase from da Blondes

Complaint letter from Aimee:

Us blondes at the offise are sew tired of awl of the dum stoopid jokes about us.
We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark.
We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all the
way to the supreme cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he
will be on are side.
We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this pursicushun.
We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much as blonde jokes and every
so offen a read head joke.

If we don't get our way, we will not date anybody that ain't blonde and we will make up jokes
about you and we will laff.

Sined by the blondes at the offise

(Pleese sine with a pensil so you can erace it if you make a mistake.)
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Old 02-03-2005, 02:35 PM   #8
kiwikid
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^^^^classic^^^^
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Old 02-03-2005, 03:47 PM   #9
champsky
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arrrgh it uttak ov da blondz :o
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