The idiots of 2008

[Fev]

Thought this might give you guys a few laughs, just got it in an office email, made me chuckle

[font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']Number One Idiot of 2008.[/font][font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre..
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the
hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
kill the ants.. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
emergency room right away..

[/font][font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']
Number Two Idiot of 2008.[/font][font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them..
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.. They are no longer
employed at Boeing..

[/font][font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']
Number Three Idiot of 2008.[/font][font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']

A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked into the Branch and
wrote 'Put all your muny in this bag.'
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window.. So he left the Bank and
crossed the street to the NAB Bank.. After waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from
his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour,
told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was
written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either,
have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland ..
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left..
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at.
the Bank of Queensland .

[/font][font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']
Number Four Idiot of 2008.[/font][font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer..
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.. He told the
cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe
him.. At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk..
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
she put the Scotch in the bag.. The robber then ran from the store with
his loot..
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two
hours later..

[/font][font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']
Number Five Idiot of 2008[/font][font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']

A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.. The
first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him..

[/font][font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']
Number Six Idiot of 2008.[/font][font='Century Gothic','sans-serif']

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just
throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run..
So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window.. The.
brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of Flexi-Glass.. The whole event was caught on
videotape.. Perth WA .[/font]

[PimpMyHubcap]

Hows the balls on the NAB bank teller in number 3 :evil_laug

Great stories.

Cheers
Mick

[flappist]

Those stories are older than you are Fev, just the dates/bank/aircraft/pub/whatever get updated every few months.

I suspect that they are all somewhere else on the forum already....

[Yellow_Festiva]

What.. they didn't mention that twat that threw a party whilst his parents were away?

[Springfield_Johny]

I heard of another similar one to the idiot number 3. A guy went into a Commonwealth bank with a similar note. The bank teller had to guts to tell the would be bank robber that she didn't have the authority for his request & would need to speak to the manager. The idiot stupidly agreed. She went into the managers office with his written note on the deposit slip. While in there the manager called the police & he was arrested while still waiting for the "managers authorization".

[bathurst77]

Wheres the boeing factory in Australia, Or do Westpac operate in Seattle USA now?

[RG]

Originally Posted by bathurst77

Wheres the boeing factory in Australia, Or do Westpac operate in Seattle USA now?

I don't think they have a factory but they do have a fair few employees over here.

[flappist]

www.mythbusters.com

These stories have been recycled more times than political promises.....

[RepSpec]

never the less, i hadnt heard any of them and just picked myself up off the floor after laughing so much.

if you have seen these before...maybe u spend too much time on the internet...

[Fev]

nah i'd never seen them before. I've never really gotten many funny emails so its all new to me!

[flappist]

Do any of you even remotely suspect any of this is actually Australian?

Liquor stores?
Poison Control Centre?
Corner store selling grog and you have to be 21 not 18 to buy it?
Not much 747 maintenance done here anymore and IF an aircraft was tampered with in the way described (as in safety equipment removed) the idiots would be jailed for a VERY long time and it would have been on the news for weeks.

Come on, you are not really that americaniZed from television that you cannot tell septic from aussie culture?????