|
Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated. |
|
The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
05-09-2005, 10:15 PM | #1 | ||
Performance moderator
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: St Clair..N.S.W
Posts: 14,875
|
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having
all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone." The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!"
__________________
Real cars are not driven by front wheels,real cars lift them!!... BABYS ARE BOTTLE FED, REAL MEN GET BLOWN. Don't be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark...Professionals built the Titanic! Dart 330ci block turbo black pearl EBXR8 482 rwkw.. Daily driver GTE FG.. Projects http://www.fordforums.com.au/showthread.php?t=107711 http://www.fordforums.com.au/showthr...8+turbo&page=4 |
||
05-09-2005, 10:22 PM | #2 | ||
GT
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: SYDNEY
Posts: 9,205
|
thats gold .
|
||
05-09-2005, 10:36 PM | #3 | ||
Looking for clues...
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Morayfield
Posts: 23,526
|
I'll pay that... I won't tell the missus, though!!!
|
||
05-09-2005, 10:42 PM | #4 | |||
AFF's 1st DM.......
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Wha???... There is only 2 states 2 be in.. WA or Drunk..
Posts: 6,200
|
Classic...
__________________
FORD GIVING POWER TO THE PEOPLE Alloy headed 347ci EDXR8 13.21 @107.7mph Quote:
|
|||
05-09-2005, 11:12 PM | #5 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 70
|
Good stuff
|
||
06-09-2005, 12:44 AM | #6 | ||
my one day build...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 177
|
good 1, maybe the admins should open up a separate forum for all of these jokes :
|
||
06-09-2005, 06:37 AM | #7 | |||
Redhead extraordinaire...
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Blue Mountains, NSW
Posts: 2,049
|
That was an awesome joke, loved it! Here's one I got sent today (no offence intended - I'm still waiting for the redhead jokes lol):
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts???" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes, I think so. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars -- but realistically, we're living with two sluts and a queer."
__________________
Bindi 88 EA- his car 88 Rolla - MY car Quote:
|
|||
06-09-2005, 10:16 AM | #8 | ||
Undergraduate EB Operator
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Albury/ Wodonga
Posts: 539
|
hell yeah!!!!!!!!! ROFL
__________________
Simon ----------------------- 04 BA Xr6 ... now with carpark dints ----------------------- |
||
06-09-2005, 10:19 AM | #9 | |||
own the road
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,764
|
ahaha. both of them are great.
__________________
T3 TE50 #146 Quote:
|
|||
06-09-2005, 03:07 PM | #10 | ||
Lucifer's Angel
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney
Posts: 5,282
|
Heard the first one before, but the second one is gold!!
__________________
SINISTER BA XR6 Blueprint, manual, 4490's, Redback 2.5" dual exhaust, BA Typhoon rims, tint, fog light covers, BF tailights, blue illuminated window switches, Ghia bootlid carpet, lower grille, FPV door spears, steering wheel & interior bits, XR6T + F6 intake, K&N filter, Typhoon spoiler, tuned, sway bars, custom angel eyes & plates..YUM!
If there's one thing guys in Holdens hate more than being beaten by a Ford... It's being beaten by a girl driving a Ford |
||
06-09-2005, 05:01 PM | #11 | ||
.
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Sunshine Coast
Posts: 1,250
|
bwahahahahahaha gold ahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! 2 great jokes ahahahaha
__________________
--------------------------------------------- |
||
06-09-2005, 08:27 PM | #12 | ||
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Beaumont Hills
Posts: 2,536
|
LMFAO awsome jokes
|
||