who has been divorced or separated.

[1971]

im going through this now,just wondering how many other people have been through this for advice?

[BHDOGS]

It's probably gonna suck now but a happy single
Life is better then a crap married one

[cs123]

Send me a PM if you like but my advice is
- to be generous till it hurts.
- Don't turn your ex in an enemy. Stay on as good terms as possible
- If kids are involved, they come first. See point 2.

[my_gxl]

Focus on the positives

[PepeLePew]

Been there done, that, no kids tho. Days can seem dark, but stay around good friends and keep your eyes as hard as you can on the horizon.

[1971]

thanks guys after 20 years its going to be different,been with her half my life,both staying friends for now.just dont what to waste anymore time not being happy,just no spark anymore,like kissing your mother.

[I reckon]

Originally Posted by 1971

thanks guys after 20 years its going to be different,been with her half my life,both staying friends for now.just dont what to waste anymore time not being happy,just no spark anymore,like kissing your mother.

lol@ kissing your mother

[I reckon]

did you end up moving to rocky?

[Donny]

The first month or two can be a bit tuff, but you adapt after a bit. It can also depend on how quickly you get yourself back on the market so to speak too..

Happier times are ahead, and life sure does go on.

[Shonky.]

quality time with mates

Call them, tell them you need to hang out. Ask them if you can come over and watch telly even, couple of beers

[1971]

Originally Posted by piggsy

did you end up moving to rocky?

yes moved to yeppoon,different place still unhappy.
we are still living togeather at the moment,but am going to buy a van and travel and live in that.as for mates,ive been in aus for 15 years and we have keeped to our selfs which dosent help now.have got a brother in adielaide,so might head there?ive stopped doing every thing that i used to like as have had 2 xb coupes and other v8s and liked working on them.biy cant be stuffed anymore.

I NEED A THERAPIST

[Yaw]

Dude, Feel sorry for you, I went through this quite some time ago, take your time healing and grieving before you move on. (approx 6 months at least).
Not saying don't date or anything like that, just realise at this stage you will have a lot of baggage and are not ready to get into a new relationship.

But after your grieving suddenly you will realise your ok by yourself and the seperation may be a blessing in disguise.

I am now happily married with my wonderful wife I met afterwards. The way we are toghther is nothing like it was with my ex. Just be paitent.

Other advice, if you have trouble sleeping, start sleeping with the TV on, stupify yourself to sleep. (just keep away for TV channels that do late night infomercials, Listen to that stuff whilst your asleep and your subconcious will want you to start buying an Ahh Bra)

[hendrixhc]

Been there and done that.

I was with my ex since the middle of high school and we were together for near 20years.

We grew apart and money was the demon in our lives.

Im now remarried and have 2 lovelly kids.

My only advice is make a clean break. Settle all your finances and properties quickly and ammicably. Start your next phase of life positively and dont dwell on the past. You only have one relatively short life so make the most of it. Get back into the things you enjoy doing.

Good luck.

[Shonky.]

Originally Posted by 1971

yes moved to yeppoon,different place still unhappy.
we are still living togeather at the moment,but am going to buy a van and travel and live in that.as for mates,ive been in aus for 15 years and we have keeped to our selfs which dosent help now.have got a brother in adielaide,so might head there?ive stopped doing every thing that i used to like as have had 2 xb coupes and other v8s and liked working on them.biy cant be stuffed anymore.

I NEED A THERAPIST

if you do there's no shame in that buddy

I've seen one when I went through a **** patch some time ago

Could start by talking to your GP

[Iggypoppin']

If you do come down Adelaide way I'll be happy to have a beer and a chat with you whenever. Broke up with the gf yesterday myself and whilst we are "working things out" it isn't easy at all.
Always happy to oblige an AFF member

[1971]

Originally Posted by Iggypoppin'

If you do come down Adelaide way I'll be happy to have a beer and a chat with you whenever. Broke up with the gf yesterday myself and whilst we are "working things out" it isn't easy at all.
Always happy to oblige an AFF member

thanks for that, might head down for acouple of weeks at christmas time.
will pm you closer to the time.

[1971]

thanks to everyone for all of your support,
just a bit tired of the routine of life,work to buy house bring up kids,
need to get back to enjoying life,
BRING ON LAS VAGES,that would work.

[I reckon]

Wait till she leaves !!! Then the **** starts wait till she finds out what the old cars are worth if she doesn't already know

[GT0132]

Been separated and divorced twice. In the first i was young and naive and we had no kids. Had two kids in the second marriage. I miss my kids more than the ex. In fact never missed her at all as the latter stages of the marriage were painfull rather than the actual split which should have happened years before it actually did end.

Oh... and what Piggsy said too

If you have kids good luck in your dealings with CSA

[BA-XT]

Ex cheated on me and dumped me in October 2008. Didn't find the cheating till later on. I fell apart for a month. I couldn't function because the pain was so great. Lost my job and moved back in with mum. We were married for less than 2 years.

I met my current wife on January 1st 2009, and I'm married again. What can I say? I'm a glutten for punishment!

[iCat]

similar story, together/married for 20 years, divorced. best thing i ever did. there's a whole world out there to explore. why stay in monotony with no spark?

a relationship takes a lot of working at. complacency will kill it.

i hope you do ok. my ex husband stayed in my home until the final seperation payment and then he moved out. fair enough but it made life a lot harder to move on. i suggest also, if you can, split your lives quickly. there's a lot of so called 'friends' who will get in the ear of your ex partner and stuff up any amicable agreement you may have come to.

always here to chat. pm

[MercurySilver]

yup
sad stuff
busted my *** working nightshift to hammer the mortgage so we would have the house paid off in a few years.
she decided she wanted to go every night while i was busting my *** off

confronted her
she broke down
i kicked her out
then paid her out

(no kids)

was devastated, took me nearly two years to get over it.
yet things happen for a reason i believe
im now with a girl who i went out with in high school (we were 15 and 17) and its the best time of my life
she went thru exactly the same thing i did
we hooked up 19 years later and its like we are teenagers again and its so familiar for both of us
im twice if not more, than happy now than i was in the previous relationship

we are now building a house and the new fantastic misses LOVES cars and the footy
i hit the jackpot
but only after some really tough times mentally

sometimes you wonder why is it happening, why you...but things happen for a reason and change is coming im guessing

we didnt have kids so cant really give advice except, always try to provide for them and be there if they need you.

[Lightning Strike GT]

If you have assets in your name only (cars etc) and have good mates or brothers and sisters sell them the assets for $1 and with draw your money from accounts and put it all under their name - once it has settled get it back and enjoy your life again
One of my close friends did this much to the disgust of his ex and her solicitor before she walked out on him - he had a gut feeling she was doing the bad thing by him
He had a car 2 houses and a wad of money left to him by relatives in wills and she was not getting them and his fortnightly pay went to his sister bank account so they could get hold of that either
And another sweetner for him she won Div 2 in lotto while they were married did not tell it to him and he ended up with a fair few $$$ from that
All she got was 1/2 the house value and some of his super - karma is a ****** well she was any way from the day they were married.