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Old 08-04-2020, 05:03 PM   #1
Cav
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Default Cav's thread of posting lots of pics but not achieving very much

Well you know how it is, you stare at something every day and you think to yaself, "Self, geez I'm good lookin'."

But I digress.

Today I am going to repair the sliding screen door that the fat gutted dog has ruined.

Exhibit A



I blame the postman.

He comes every day at 1330 hours, oh, for youse dumb ugly BA boys - that's when Mickey's hand is on one and six - and the fat gutted dog lies in wait to attack the postie's throat. She resides inside, usually on my recliner chair where we watch TV together and when she hears the postie she charges off and mangles the screen door on the way as a foretaste to what she will do to the postie.

So I popped down to Bunnings just like every other poor bastard in town who is stranded at home and now has the time to those jobs we have been putting off.

I get some new screen, but not just run of the mill fly screen, I got me the pet flyscreen. We don't have any pet flies, but I reckon this is the just the ticket to keep the fat gutted dog in its place, you know, inside on the couch, with me.

Did you know that Bunnings display doggie doors near flyscreens? Hey, there's an idea, and only eleveney dollas!

Bargain.

I exit the store but only after struggling with 2 x 65 litres of potting mix that is obviously on the list of things to do tomorra that I haven't been told about yet.

Flyscreen - check



And what about that doggie door?

I do a test fit - check.



You can see the excitement on the fat gutted dog's face.

OK, I'm not stupid, well scrub that, I am not too stupid, but I know to remove the sliding screen door I have to adjust the adjuster thingies that hold the runners in place.

Oh, they look a bit rusted, so I spray them with WD40. I dunno if I need a philips head or normal headed screwdriver, so I try both - the adjuster thingies don't budget.

I go to plan B and kick the screen door off its runners. That'll teach it to mess with someone a bit smarter than the average sliding screen door.

OK, the screen on, and if you don't mind a rough-looking job - it looks terrific!



I'll trim those end bits a few weeks later when the mesh has had time to settle, at least that's what I told my wife.

Now to fit the doggie door.



That's when things started to stray from the strategic plan.

You see my military training means that I plan everything in advance. You know the old adage: "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

So I mastered the instructions on the doggie door, then ate the paper. No I didn't, that's only a thing they do on the movies.

The doggie door is designed to clamp together on either side of the screen, cut out the middle bit and use that bit to put screen stuff on the swinging door bit.

To see if this was feasible, I used an offcut from the old screen and it came up a treat.

This is the swinging doggie door bit, all ready to go.



"Things are going swell what?" as Monty would say.

Montgomery was the commander of the Eighth Army in the Middle East, and you probably know all about El Alamein and Tunisia and stuff. Just sayin'.

But I digress.

Oh, NO!

I can't clamp the two sides of the doggie door outline together. Well I can, but with just the slightest touch, they fall off. The swinging door bit worked OK, so why doesn't the outline bit?

The problem was the fancy fat gutted dog proof doggie screen - it was too thick and I couldn't clamp the two bits together, well I could if those plastic lug thingies didn't fall off.

What a bastard.

I should go back to Bunnings and do a Russell Crowe - you know, the phone wouldn't work in his room so he took it down and threw it at the bloke down in reception. I think the bloke ducked and the phone missed him.

Eleveney dollas gone to waste.

Change plans.

The door goes on without the door.

Did you know that you may be able to kick the sliding door off its slides, but it is an entirely different matter when trying to kick them back on.

"But where there's a will there's a way." I don't think Monty said that.

So I bashed it on and when it was pretty close I went into the kitchen to get a leveraging-on-tool for door sliders - one of the wife's good silver knives, they are stronger than the cheap ones.

Job done.

Take that you fat gutted dog.



I dunno about you, but I rate the success of a project based on the number of bits left over when I'm finished.

The lesser the number the better. I only had one bit left over.



I'll hide it somewhere so that you know who will never find out.

That just leaves me with one more thing to do.

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Old 08-04-2020, 05:29 PM   #2
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Default Re: Cav's big project

I'll be honest, when I first read the thread title ,I thought.you were going to be involving one of these...

Last edited by marty351; 28-06-2020 at 09:06 AM.
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Old 08-04-2020, 05:37 PM   #3
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Default Re: Cav's big project

Dog doesn't look happy with the project.
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Old 08-04-2020, 05:38 PM   #4
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Default Re: Cav's big project

Maybe this might help?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDH82GxEx8Q
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Old 08-04-2020, 05:44 PM   #5
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Default Re: Cav's big project



You have had a busy day Cav, you deserve some cake after all that!


Love your posts mate, they always brighten my evening.
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Old 08-04-2020, 05:47 PM   #6
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Default Re: Cav's big project

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Yeah, a Chinese bloke using Chinese stuff.

I'd like to see him try this with the mega mesh I wuz using.
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Old 08-04-2020, 06:16 PM   #7
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Default Re: Cav's big project

I am seriously concerned when the postie turns up tomorrow fat dog will turn it's self into meat spaghetti trying to get through the new mesh.

Have you thought this through Cav?
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Old 08-04-2020, 06:24 PM   #8
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Default Re: Cav's big project

Quote:
Originally Posted by Work Horse View Post
I am seriously concerned when the postie turns up tomorrow fat dog will turn it's self into meat spaghetti trying to get through the new mesh.

Have you thought this through Cav?
Do you think I'm stupid or sumting?

Of course I haven't
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Old 08-04-2020, 06:26 PM   #9
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Default Re: Cav's big project

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You have had a busy day Cav, you deserve some cake after all that!


Love your posts mate, they always brighten my evening.
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Old 08-04-2020, 06:27 PM   #10
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Default Re: Cav's big project

Quote:
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I am seriously concerned when the postie turns up tomorrow fat dog will turn it's self into meat spaghetti trying to get through the new mesh.

Have you thought this through Cav?
Rhetorical much?
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Old 08-04-2020, 06:33 PM   #11
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Default Re: Cav's big project

Looks like because of the virus "The men's shed" has gone online.........
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Old 08-04-2020, 06:35 PM   #12
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Default Re: Cav's big project

Subscribed!! this is prollaly going to be the best build thread on AFF.
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Old 08-04-2020, 06:55 PM   #13
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Default Re: Cav's big project

It's bin 3 hours now and the fat gutted dog hasn't been able to make a dent on the newly installed pet flyscreen.


She can get angry at times as shown here ...



The new screen even keeps mossies out.

How's that for a win?

Feck I'm good, and good lookin' of course.
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Old 08-04-2020, 06:56 PM   #14
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Subscribed!! this is prollaly going to be the best build thread on AFF.
You're prollaly right
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Old 08-04-2020, 07:04 PM   #15
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Default Re: Cav's big project

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It's bin 3 hours now and the fat gutted dog hasn't been able to make a dent on the newly installed pet flyscreen.


She can get angry at times as shown here ...

image

The new screen even keeps mossies out.

How's that for a win?

Feck I'm good, and good lookin' of course.
More bones in her diet or brush her teeth!
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Old 08-04-2020, 07:32 PM   #16
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Default Re: Cav's big project

A bone donation whilst brushing doggo's teeth sounds good! Who's first?
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Old 08-04-2020, 07:56 PM   #17
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A bone donation whilst brushing doggo's teeth sounds good! Who's first?
I need my fingers to count my pension money.
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Old 08-04-2020, 08:18 PM   #18
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Default Re: Cav's big project

Shoulda Got a Bigger Doggy Door, One big enough for a Drunken CAV to sneak home through without waking SWMBO.........Just thinking..
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Old 08-04-2020, 08:32 PM   #19
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More bones in her diet or brush her teeth!
Her teeth are in better condition than mine
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Old 08-04-2020, 09:28 PM   #20
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A bone donation whilst brushing doggo's teeth sounds good! Who's first?
postman
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Old 08-04-2020, 10:47 PM   #21
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Default Re: Cav's big project

Well so as not to want to kick the door down in frustration I got someone in to install our doggy door. Geez it was hard getting the money out, not.
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Old 09-04-2020, 07:38 AM   #22
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Default Re: Cav's big project

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Her teeth are in better condition than mine
You still got yours.. ;-)
I’d picked you as a Collingwood supporter 😜
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Old 09-04-2020, 07:44 AM   #23
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Default Re: Cav's big project

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I need my fingers to count my pension money.



You get pension money!
Geez you're lucky
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Old 09-04-2020, 01:07 PM   #24
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Default Re: Cav's big project

Another day another project.

I'll have to get the name of the thread changed from project to projects.

When I picked up the magic flyscreen from Bunnings I also got a Ryobi spray thingy.

I had a Karcher for a number of years but through neglect, it sheet itself months ago.

So why a Ryobi?

Four year warranty that's why, plus it was cheap.





See that tank on the bottom?

That's one of the reasons why I chose this one - I can put detergent in it and spray clean the windows outside the house as well as use it to wash the cars with this stuff.



So far today I have cleaned the front deck the front doors and windows and the front sliding doors as well as the rear deck, rear windows and rear sliding doors plus the Fairlane and the Territory leaving a trail of soap suds and wet stuff all around the house so that my wife can see all the good work havoc I did today.

So how was this new fangled spray thingy?

Well, in a word it was mediocre, run of the mill, fair to middling and passable.

It has two settings, apart from on/off. There is an adjustment to the stream from broad to narrow and also high pressure/low pressure.

The restricting thing is that the detergent will not flow on high pressure, I would have preferred an on/off switch for the detergent. But maybe that would have changed the $139 price.

Still, the cars came up OK. All I did was apply the detergent, waited a few moments and washed it off and let them dry.

The detergent covered the cars OK but not in as thick as foam I have seen on other bloke's project cars. I will up the strength next time and see if it is betterer.

Heck, I may even get some of that overpriced Bowden's foam seeing as I haven't quite spent all my $750 pensioner's stimulus money.

This I how the Fairlane came up.





BTW, did you catch that little plastic thingy near the rear wheel?

That was only one of the two things that fell off the spray thingy

Yeah I know, the grass could do with a mow.

Did I tell youse I have a Ryobi battery mower? My next project.
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Old 09-04-2020, 01:39 PM   #25
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Woo Hoo

There's the other piece that fell off!

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Old 09-04-2020, 01:43 PM   #26
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Woo Hoo

There's the other spare part that fell off!

image
Spares, Cav, spares!
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Old 09-04-2020, 02:25 PM   #27
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Default Re: Cav's big project

If you like I could change it to 'Cav's thread of posting lots of pics but not achieving very much'
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Old 09-04-2020, 03:03 PM   #28
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If you like I could change it to 'Cav's thread of posting lots of pics but not achieving very much'
OR to YapHoons version of Ted Bullpit except where is Horrice the Aboriginal, let alone Repco Lad & his mate.
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Old 09-04-2020, 03:13 PM   #29
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Old 09-04-2020, 03:22 PM   #30
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If you like I could change it to 'Cav's thread of posting lots of pics but not achieving very much'
Pensioner though, has to drag 3 hours work out over 3-4 days for something to do, otherwise he would have to spend his time towing a caravan around at half the posted speed limit, randomly stopping for cake, writing letters of complaint to the media and telling young people about the good ol days.
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