What a filthy, runaway, feckless pig I am! Absolutely despigable!!

the black pig · 21-07-2006, 09:24 PM

CONFESSIONS OF A FILTHY PIG

I am a pig. I love my AU series III VCT Fairmont Ghia to bits. (not literally). I love lurking here and reading about everyone's victories and defeats in making their AU drive and accelerate and brake and generally perform better than most current cars. Its brilliant and I'm a bit blessed to be in here with all the other AU dreamers and fixers and makers and shapers.

But my business partner said I had to give up the AU and drive a current model car in case our customers thought I drove the AU cos we couldn't afford anything better cos we weren't doing too good.

So after a series of acrimonious debates which involved a pub scuffle, a nasty baseball bat incident, a couple of head-locks, and me attempting to antique his 350Z with a 4 foot length of 3" dia. bamboo which I keep in the boot for purely defensive purposes, I finally agreed to consider Buying a New Car.

So I went to a Ford dealer (never for a SECOND did I consider going anywhere but a Ford dealer), and drove an XR6T and an FPV GT. Now this was a while ago and they were BA models. After driving my enhanced AU Ghia with VCT++ and Tickford IRS, the XR6T felt heavy, fast and crude, and the FPV GT (the sales boy wouldn't let me turn off traction control) felt heavy. Like. Heavy.

So I stalled for a year. But finally, under pressure frm my company, having to make a move, I put a deposit down on a Saleen 281SC Mustang. That's the supercharged one. It seemed to be the only way I could remain loyal to Ford and still own a car which would give the pig a fast ride, a stiff thrill, and swollen naughty bits.

Well. Had the Saleen been delivered on time I would have it now and would have left tyre tracks all over Sydney. But it's arrival, six months late, coincided with a particularly onerous divorce settlement. And I found myself in the horrible (I wish it on nobody) position of having to budget. The question my advisors wrestled with was: The Saleen or my customary nightly five course repast.

Firing the accountant who brought the dilemma to my attention, I tossed a coin, ignored the result, cancelled the Saleen, and booked myself into Butlers restaurant in Newcastle for a week of therapeutic desserts.

I am still amazed and proud of my fortitude and resolution in risking the loss of a 20K deposit in favour of a lifetime of fine dining, especially the little vanilla blancmange towers dribbled with oozing melted dark chocolate and spoofed all over with madeira and tangerine sauce. Oh. Ohhh! Oohhhh!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Back in a minute. Have you noticed the Kleenex are getting thinner?

Look. I'm sorry that this is going on forever. But I canned the Saleen. (aside: luckily Adrian at Mustang Australia in Artarmon was a complete gentleman and sold my Saleen to a lucky punter and gave me my deposit back in full without me even asking. Oh what a totally good guy!!).

But still, my business partner was at me. Snipe snipe snipe. "Get a new car not an old car" Untill I cracked. (Actually, being a pig, it was more like I crackled.) And I went to City Ford and demanded they give me their best car and a nerveless salesperson and traction control off or I'd go home.

Oooh hoo hoo hoooooooooooooo. Brothers and sisters. I have finally found something to beat the feisty rip snorting light steering loveliness of a worked AUIII VCT. 50 to 150 in 4 seconds. The pig left his clacker on the back seat! I are in awe and will spend some time in dessertland after this!!

I amnow the proud owned of a BF Typhoon. I have lurked on the Turbo forums but I wanted you here i AU forums to be the first to know because I owe you all more than you can imagine. You have inspired me and challenged me and heducated me and helped me understand what a car is. So I owe youse all.

But the best thing is, now I have the BF, my business partner is selling his 350Z and is taking over the lease on my trick Fairmont Ghia "because you've done it all for me." See, there is a God. It's just that he only looks after AUs and pigs.

Casper's a genius and Useless, I haven't missed a post. Love and thanks for a brilliant three years.

billy the pig

Casper · 21-07-2006, 09:31 PM

You're still an AU owner at heart.. you will never get rid of that. Good to see the VCT will stay in "the family" too.

If you're going to give up the AU, only an F6 will do

xr8ute · 21-07-2006, 09:43 PM

Shame about the Saleen. I was driving next to one in traffic (yes a supercharged one) a couple of weeks ago...hot, hot, hot car.

BF Typhoon is still very tidy though. Good work

Edit and injectors on the menu?

JC · 21-07-2006, 09:51 PM

BF Typhoon - nice stock, and easy 280rwkw+ car!

ronwest · 21-07-2006, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the black pig

CONFESSIONS OF A FILTHY PIG

It's nice to come across someone who actually appreciates a car and doesn't change to a later model just "because they can".

It's even better to come across a great post from someone with a sense of humour ;)

loxxr6 · 21-07-2006, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ronwest

It's nice to come across someone who actually appreciates a car and doesn't change to a later model just "because they can".

It's even better to come across a great post from someone with a sense of humour ;)

Here here.

Congrats on the new purchase too !

**Stav** · 21-07-2006, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the black pig

Casper's a genius and Useless, I haven't missed a post. Love and thanks for a brilliant three years.

billy the pig

Gosh how can I ever eat bacon again after that comment!!!! Next time the wife puts it on the table ill be giving it a dignified funeral!!!We love you too mate! What a shame we never met just to exchange an "oink" Maybe the pig and stingray will meet on the highway of life for a quick blat!!

Pig dont be a stranger mate..I enjoyed reading your posts alot too..You are definately one of a kind....

GlennBA · 21-07-2006, 11:31 PM

shutup and post pics of the F6

:

XR6-VCT-2000 · 22-07-2006, 12:50 AM

lol , that was a good read ! ...lol.., fair reason for updating , and the typhoon is a nice car - no doubt about it ;) , congrads on the purchase and staying loyal to the ford family.

And yeah some pics would be great

, cheers .

the black pig · 22-07-2006, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xr8ute

Shame about the Saleen. I was driving next to one in traffic (yes a supercharged one) a couple of weeks ago...hot, hot, hot car.

BF Typhoon is still very tidy though. Good work

Edit and injectors on the menu?

Erm, not immediately. I did order it with CAI and cat-back system, ready for an Edit, but then I thought it would be a waste of time without a 4" dump pipe and bigger CAT and injectors. Then I worried about overboost problems if I couldn't run with the Edit. So I've slowed the whole process right down. Delayed all mods. I'll see if I can negotiate some give and take on the warranty and then do what I can.

I'll research my options and talk it over with the service manager at City Ford - I met him and he's a true blue. I'm going to be straight and sensible about it, and see if Ford and FPV are prepared to recognise honesty by giving us enthusiasts a little bit of encouragement; a little bit of leeway. Because we carry their flag higher and further than ANY other group of owners.

I just put 20" D'vinci Lox wheels and the new Falken FK452s on it - 245/35R20s all round. I'll let you know about the tyres when it dries out here and I've scrubbed 'em up a bit. First impression is they're quieter than the Dunlop SP9000s. I also had a plain, spoiler-less boot lid put on for the stealth look. Looks seriously Pimped Euro now - completely different to the usual fpv fang machine look. I think I'm onto something.

Auto Web Concepts have supplied a little duck tail wing for the boot edge and that's been sprayed Ego to match the car. It will be fitted on Tuesday. I like that: Pig's aaass gets duck's tail. Then I'll do photographs.

But enough of the BF. What about the AU? Do I put the fpv 18's on the AU? It's already got 17's off a BA XR8. The 18's might look well awesome. But I may need to get the guards flared. I better go and have breakfast and think about this. Prolly some buckweat pancakes with unsalted danish butter, soft creamy scrambled eggs, grilled italian tomatoes sprinkled all over with rosemary, and some crispy fried pancetta, yum, own kind tastes best.

pig

GlennBA · 22-07-2006, 10:55 AM

put the F6 18's on the AU that'd look sweet!. My AUII has 19x9.5's on rear and it doesn't scrub out. Mind you its not lowered. I think you'd probly just need to roll the guard lips at most. Can we see some pictures of the new car? It sounds unreal.

HLC · 22-07-2006, 06:41 PM

mmmmmmmmmm bacon.

jonbays · 23-07-2006, 10:12 AM

The Mustangs are awful nice too though. Adrians a top bloke for sure too. I had a drive of one of those 4.6 V8's and they go real well and SOUND TERRIFIC. I would have bought the stang just for the exhaust note. The 4.6 feels better than the BA GT I can tell you. The BF is a much more modern better built car all round though i tend to think and the F6 would be more powerful and more tunable ultimately so good choice in the end.