Depression, Anxiety

[Madaya]

Phew, glad to be here.
Just got back from my 3rd AA meeting. Again, very relaxed, great sharing and no arguments. And enlightening. One lad said he was so keen to recover, he realised he was racing ahead too fast. It's like trying to shift a concrete block, push, push. Eventually you'll give up. The block he says, will move in its own time. And that's one of the keys. One step at a time, in its own time.
I'm still having a drink, maybe not as often. That's not the point. But the encouragement from the older members is just this...just keep coming. We did and we've been off the grog for 10 - 20 - 30+ years.

That's how our little thread should be. Total respect and understanding. Thanks mates and moderators (Russ).
I'd find moderating a tough ask.

[Beastie]

Originally Posted by Madaya

Phew, glad to be here.
Just got back from my 3rd AA meeting. Again, very relaxed, great sharing and no arguments. And enlightening. One lad said he was so keen to recover, he realised he was racing ahead too fast. It's like trying to shift a concrete block, push, push. Eventually you'll give up. The block he says, will move in its own time. And that's one of the keys. One step at a time, in its own time.
I'm still having a drink, maybe not as often. That's not the point. But the encouragement from the older members is just this...just keep coming. We did and we've been off the grog for 10 - 20 - 30+ years.

That's how our little thread should be. Total respect and understanding. Thanks mates and moderators (Russ).
I'd find moderating a tough ask.

Everyone is different and respecting everyone's position in life is important. Well done on your new journey and I hope that you achieve the goals that you have set yourself!

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by The Beast

Everyone is different and respecting everyone's position in life is important. Well done on your new journey and I hope that you achieve the goals that you have set yourself!

Hear Hear Here Here
Same supportI've words from me too Madaya.
One step at a time.. no judgement here.,only support and maybe a little envy lol... meaning I personally find it very difficult to stick to...well?...anything really... but new meds have me focusing on one job at a time for about 3hrs before I start to come down... only issue now is that if I do start a job.. eg car maintaiNance. . it can block out all other responsibilities that I may have on for the day (mainly my parents care ..cleanin. .washing.. feeding!... cringe... I forgot their lunch the other day.. not good). But have a laugh at it anyway.. they didn't fade away from starvation. Which brings me to my next topic. See above

[Tui2]

My elderly father , 85yo. Has just been diagnosed with cancer in the liver spread from (more tests to come) what the GP and the Gastroenterologist assume from CT scan. his Bowels.
Fearing a colonostomy ? Is that right spelling? Fearing a camera up the colon can/does take a lot out of the elderly. But looks like he must so he'll be hospitalised for the prep (thank the powers that be) cause I myself only just made it to the toilet during the prep stages when I had it done. He wouldn't even get off the bed in time.. and that's a lot of cleaning up to do if at he was home for it. Anyway back on track.. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with what to say or do for someone who has recieclved cancer news.. now he IS a big sook regardless of ailment types. So I've given him a week to take in what could and may not be the outcome. As I feel.. considering he is past the average age of death for an Australian male.. and he's not a child with a whole life ahead.. that he should stop this mopping.. feeling sorry for himself.. getting my mother to call all family and friends to tell them his bad news.. not eating won't let me take him for a drive or go to a support group ( keep in mind that the severity of it is still only speculation really till we see the Gastro-Specialist .. more tests etc. )
And I find it hard to be empathetic as BPD does lack that emotional response ( ie.. prevention of having to cope with misery) or it's psychopathology... which I've tested to be in the latter percentage of also ( remembering I suffer an overlapping disorder) in fact
. The reason my new meds were lawfully prescribed was due to the overlapping of psychosis.. something I've never been treated for.
Sorry back to question at hand.. sorry guys .. so hard to keep on track.. what or how should I best support the old carnie with this. Told him to Man Up! But it didn't help (joke people. . Geez .. I jest ..tis what I do)
????? Thanks any captain obvious suggestions welcome

[olfella]

Trejo, he may be a sook and wanting to call all his family but this could be him preparing to say his final farewell to every one. Him thinking the worst may be what the outcome will be. I think let him be in control of who he wants to alert to the fact that he may not be around for much longer but at the same time tell them the jury is still out. It is a hard time but if you dont and the worst does happen you will regret not giving everyone the chance to say ferewell in time.

[BENT_8]

Originally Posted by Trejo

My elderly father , 85yo. Has just been diagnosed with cancer in the liver spread from (more tests to come) what the GP and the Gastroenterologist assume from CT scan. his Bowels.
Fearing a colonostomy ? Is that right spelling? Fearing a camera up the colon can/does take a lot out of the elderly. But looks like he must so he'll be hospitalised for the prep (thank the powers that be) cause I myself only just made it to the toilet during the prep stages when I had it done. He wouldn't even get off the bed in time.. and that's a lot of cleaning up to do if at he was home for it. Anyway back on track.. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with what to say or do for someone who has recieclved cancer news.. now he IS a big sook regardless of ailment types. So I've given him a week to take in what could and may not be the outcome. As I feel.. considering he is past the average age of death for an Australian male.. and he's not a child with a whole life ahead.. that he should stop this mopping.. feeling sorry for himself.. getting my mother to call all family and friends to tell them his bad news.. not eating won't let me take him for a drive or go to a support group ( keep in mind that the severity of it is still only speculation really till we see the Gastro-Specialist .. more tests etc. )
And I find it hard to be empathetic as BPD does lack that emotional response ( ie.. prevention of having to cope with misery) or it's psychopathology... which I've tested to be in the latter percentage of also ( remembering I suffer an overlapping disorder) in fact
. The reason my new meds were lawfully prescribed was due to the overlapping of psychosis.. something I've never been treated for.
Sorry back to question at hand.. sorry guys .. so hard to keep on track.. what or how should I best support the old carnie with this. Told him to Man Up! But it didn't help (joke people. . Geez .. I jest ..tis what I do)
????? Thanks any captain obvious suggestions welcome

Hey buddy, i've been following your posts in this thread for a while, it is a great thing you do to balance your own personal issues whilst taking on the responsibilities of caring for your parents, hats off to you.

I lost my Father to Cancer 9 months ago, if you have read any of my personal posts you would be aware that my family is extremely disfunctional and as a result, his wish to alienate many of his offspring right up until the final moments has left quite an emotional mess for those left behind.

As Oldfella said, this may be his way of saying goodbye, of dealing with what is inevitable for all of us, we are all here for but a blink in the over all scheme.
Let him make peace if thats what he feels he needs to do, to prepare for whatever is ahead and to give those left behind a chance to say goodbye should it be the case.

[Madaya]

I mentioned my situation with my folks at the meeting last night. One bit of advice was get in touch with Silver Chain. Will do first thing Monday.
So sorry to hear of your struggle Trejo and at 85, it can be all the more difficult to accept what is important and necessary.

[Tui2]

sorry did send a detailed thankyou to all 3 of you but it wouldn't let me post it as site signed me out during the 1hr it took me to gratefully reply to you all, now I'm not in a good way and are out of here, sorry and again thankyou

[olfella]

You look after yourself Trejo

[Gypzy]

Originally Posted by olfella

You look after yourself Trejo

And on that note, don't forget about the Carers! While all the focus can be on the patient, (and rightly so) it's often the carers that can be forgotten about.

[SYZ]

Originally Posted by Trejo

sorry did send a detailed thankyou to all 3 of you but it wouldn't let me post it as site signed me out during the 1hr it took me to gratefully reply to you all, now I'm not in a good way and are out of here, sorry and again thankyou

Hang in there mate. I'm sure we're all thinking of you.

[Tui2]

Hi ya all. Again ahhhthankyouuu.
Feeling better Trej? Yes thank you for asking
I've started a (what I think to be a good idea, at least during this polar level)
A thread titled 'my BPD Vs a healthy mind' along those lines anyway...under subscription heading??? Advice Central? ? Maybe? Hopeless instant recall memory eh. Anyway it's to give me some insight into the workings of a healthy mind when hypothetically placed into a scenario of mine that my BPD has produced over the years.. a bit of fun I thought... but I consider Scrabble..well most board games fun. Along with Nachos, shuffle board and lawn bowls.

[Vincenzo]

Originally Posted by Trejo

Along with Nachos, shuffle board and lawn bowls.

Ahh come on Geriatric Marbles - Really - if your gunna play with little round balls then you need a bag of cat's eyes / glass eyes and Tombowlers. ROFL

Have a good day!

Cheers Vinny

[SYZ]

I was somewhat disappointed this morning to read this article in the Melbourne AGE:

One in Five Australians Believes People with Anxiety "put it on".

New research has revealed that one in five Australians believes people with anxiety are "putting it on". The research, which is to be released by charity beyondblue today, also shows more than 10 per cent of Australians aged between 30 and 34 believe people with anxiety are untrustworthy.

Beyondblue chief executive Georgie Harman said anxiety was not just feeling stressed or worried. "It is when these feelings don't subside and are ongoing without any particular reason or cause. Everyone feels anxious from time to time, but for someone experiencing anxiety, these feelings can't be easily controlled," she said.

The survey of more than 1200 Australians reveals that damaging attitudes and discrimination against those suffering from anxiety remain.
Almost half agree that people with anxiety are judged or discriminated against.

—Check out the interactive graphics at the bottom of the page for the breakdown of opinion.

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by SYZ

I was somewhat disappointed this morning to read this article in the Melbourne AGE:

One in Five Australians Believes People with Anxiety "put it on".

New research has revealed that one in five Australians believes people with anxiety are "putting it on". The research, which is to be released by charity beyondblue today, also shows more than 10 per cent of Australians aged between 30 and 34 believe people with anxiety are untrustworthy.

Beyondblue chief executive Georgie Harman said anxiety was not just feeling stressed or worried. "It is when these feelings don't subside and are ongoing without any particular reason or cause. Everyone feels anxious from time to time, but for someone experiencing anxiety, these feelings can't be easily controlled," she said.

The survey of more than 1200 Australians reveals that damaging attitudes and discrimination against those suffering from anxiety remain.
Almost half agree that people with anxiety are judged or discriminated against.

—Check out the interactive graphics at the bottom of the page for the breakdown of opinion.

And then they wonder why people try and hide it

[b0son]

Originally Posted by SYZ

I was somewhat disappointed this morning to read this article in the Melbourne AGE

Ever seen someone claim stress leave? Ever thought the only reason they were stressed and anxious was because they were incapable, but rather than accept their limitations and find other work, they instead chose to blame their employer and make them financially liable?

While there's a propensity to fake an illness, and take advantage of that fact, you'll have a proportion of the populace that treats said illness with suspicion. People on DSP/Workers Comp/etc probably find the same thing.

[Smoke Pursuit]

Originally Posted by b0son

Ever seen someone claim stress leave? Ever thought the only reason they were stressed and anxious was because they were incapable, but rather than accept their limitations and find other work, they instead chose to blame their employer and make them financially liable?

While there's a propensity to fake an illness, and take advantage of that fact, you'll have a proportion of the populace that treats said illness with suspicion. People on DSP/Workers Comp/etc probably find the same thing.

Ever thought that perhaps the person is actually capable but the employer has put them in a predicament which has caused this stress and anxiety.

[b0son]

If I had some evidence that they had ever performed the job satisfactorily, I might. Some people bite off more than they can chew, and end up stressed trying to keep up as a result. Is that the fault of the boss, or the worker who overstated their abilities?

[cs123]

Originally Posted by b0son

If I had some evidence that they had ever performed the job satisfactorily, I might. Some people bite off more than they can chew, and end up stressed trying to keep up as a result. Is that the fault of the boss, or the worker who overstated their abilities?

This thread is about people discussion their own personal issues with depression and anxiety. Perhaps you might give this thread a miss

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Vincenzo

Ahh come on Geriatric Marbles - Really - if your gunna play with little round balls then you need a bag of cat's eyes / glass eyes and Tombowlers. ROFL

Have a good day!

Cheers Vinny

are you showing your age or what :-p

[b0son]

Originally Posted by cs123

This thread is about people discussion their own personal issues with depression and anxiety. Perhaps you might give this thread a miss

I deal with my anxiety by accepting it as a personality trait rather than an illness (rightly or wrongly). I'm not about to blame my own responses on those around me, especially when I observe others exposed to the same stresses able to deal with them without issue. I accept that its a view not shared by many, and likely one expected not to be shared full stop.

[Tui2]

WOW, and i mean WOW!
aren't people the biggest upset of the animal Kingdom?
you could not script what adding grey matter frontal lobes to opposable thumbs could do to world?
today is a good day. .a good day to admit that i have a real struggle with controlling my cognitive behaviour, what i say and think can be so determining of how the day/week will pan out, i hate talking I REALLY DO, as i was so good at it (when i was unaware of my disorder and the judgement it brought upon me) so good at talking...that it ended up just that...TALK.
now I'm so aware that i WILL say something inappropriate or outright insulting at somestage resulting in , at the least embarrassing myself , which i find hard to deal with, punishing myself sleepless and desecrated, with fingernails that i without a breath are gnawed to a bloody mess, i have 8 bandaids at this moment covering said nails, i have 3 types for different applications of finger usage to carry my dailey chores. this is a 3-4 day per fortnight on average event.
I meet all you kind supportive people on this site and get exited like a kid when we PM and i was even privileged enough to get a couple your phone numbers to text to... and now after hearing a couple of voices put to the names, i pull my head back into my shell, afraid VERY AFRAID, as to not show the true severity of the damage done, i want so much to be normal and working again, but the truth is I NEVER WAS NORMAL and the damage done affected/effected others, which having apathy as a BPD/psychopathological trait, didn't seem to bother me through the years, but now know IT DID, so much that i won't allow it again.
thanks to the forum and all involved, i have been befriended and for that i am grateful but more unsure than i have ever been of me.
keep well

[nuthin' fancy]

Just a reminder to all posting here that it a venue for you to talk about what is happening to you, not for your view on what the rest of the world is doing.

Anyone who senses increasing difficulties should call Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or www.beyondblue.org.au, or http://headspace.org.au/ or a similar organisation. This thread is not intended to substitute for these services.

[SYZ]

Originally Posted by b0son

Ever seen someone claim stress leave? Ever thought the only reason they were stressed and anxious was because they were incapable, but rather than accept their limitations and find other work, they instead chose to blame their employer and make them financially liable?

I have to agree that—obviously—there are the malingerers that falsely claim sick leave, but they're a tiny minority compared to the number of legitimate cases. In any case, employers have the right to demand a doctor's certificate after two day's absence, so that really negates your implication of long-term fraud.

And no; you're also wrong about people purportedly being "incapable" of doing their jobs, and who should be seeking easier work. I've seen good workers who've been with companies for a decade or more succumb to stress, anxiety disorders and clinical depression. It often has to do with company restructuring, downsizing its workforce, relocating, shifting market requirements, or even ignorant/young/inexperienced/under-qualified middle management not being able to see potentially critical problems before they arise and act proactively. So yes; in the latter case, there are situations where it's more than appropriate to blame the boss.

Originally Posted by b0son

While there's a propensity to fake an illness, and take advantage of that fact, you'll have a proportion of the populace that treats said illness with suspicion. People on DSP/Workers Comp/etc probably find the same thing.

I think you're overgeneralising when you say that there's a "propensity" for workers to fake illness. I'd be interested to see if you could cite any statistics supporting this claim, or whether or not this is just your personal opinion. From my perspective, there's also a propensity for people who (like you maybe?) haven't been touched by mental illness in any way to simply dismiss people who're actually suffering from these disabilities as malingerers. You also need to understand that mental illnesses, such as depression, are termed "hidden" disabilities. Personally, if you met me on the street, you'd never guess I was undergoing psych therapy, plus a strict drug regime to allow me to function. As the medicos say, my affect (the outward, observable manifestation of a person's expressed feelings or emotions) is invariably and atypically "bright", as compared to flat, blunted, or bland.

I hope this better clarifies the issue.

[SYZ]

Originally Posted by Trejo

[...] punishing myself sleepless and desecrated, with fingernails that I without a breath are gnawed to a bloody mess, I have 8 bandaids at this moment covering said nails [...]

I've never chewed my nails, but I have mild OCD, and constantly fiddle with my clothes. Many of my casual (only at home!) shirts are missing buttons, the pockets are all falling off, and half the hems are unpicked.
At home I always look as though my duds have come out of the rag bag.

Keep on hangin' in there my friend; we'll make it through eventually.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by SYZ

I've never chewed my nails, but I have mild OCD, and constantly fiddle with my clothes. Many of my casual (only at home!) shirts are missing buttons, the pockets are all falling off, and half the hems are unpicked.
At home I always look as though my duds have come out of the rag bag.

Keep on hangin' in there my friend; we'll make it through eventually.

Wow syz.. that's so good to hear (and you know what I mean) that I am not alone in this.. doesn't matter how many times I am reminded of that.. it is still good to have the words in front of you.
I was having a couple of bad days and I guess that's why I need this thread. Thank you all again. Enjoy the week to the best of your abilities and as long as you gave things ago... you know you are at least fighting the Blue. Not the Blue oval of course.. can't fight thar addiction.. just go with it lol

[supershifty]

Originally Posted by nuthin' fancy

Just a reminder to all posting here that it a venue for you to talk about what is happening to you, not for your view on what the rest of the world is doing.

Anyone who senses increasing difficulties should call Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or www.beyondblue.org.au, or http://headspace.org.au/ or a similar organisation. This thread is not intended to substitute for these services.

I'll back that up.

Not going into my personal circumstances that led me into undiagnosed depression, but a series of life events in rather quick succession that I could not control gradually hammered me down. Whilst dealing with one, then another would pop up, then another - overwhelmed me.

I lost my will and my self respect - felt completely ******* useless. Shut myself off from family/friends, wouldn't answer phone/email/front door. Got groceries home delivered (still do - **** shopping) would put the bins out at night so nobody would see me.

I'd had enough after a trigger point. Sat in my shed cross legged with my double barrelled coach gun in my mouth between my two beloved Fords. As I squeezed the triggers I thought about my two beautiful daughters and what they would think. That was enough, I reconciled to fight this "black dog".

I knew I had a major problem and sought professional help - as futile as it seemed at the time. It was a last resort. I made the call to my doctor and made an appointment. Brave considering I hadn't left my home in a while.

My doctor was very understanding and referred me to a psychologist, gave me a months script for Valium until she had a report back from the shrink.

I was treated with respect, understanding and kindness from the professionals. Their initial advice seemed like crap to me, my head was totally messed up. I listened and followed their advice as I'd reached rock bottom, can't go much lower.

This all happened about 10 years ago and I've progressed massively since. I still have just a touch of depression (like everybody else) but the anxiety remains. I'm much happier now and so glad I didn't chuck the towel in, you can't regret it in the afterlife - if any.

The point I'd like to make is that this thread is not a substitute for sound professional advice. No way would I ever seek advice from a forum for major depression/anxiety. If you seriously need help, you won't find it here. This is a medium for "mild" depression/anxiety and support for those that have it or are recovering from it.

Above I took liberty about mentioning suicide. My own situation was to emphasise where I came from - I/we do not want to hear about near suicide or thoughts of it on this thread.

Cheers!

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by supershifty

I'll back that up.

Not going into my personal circumstances that led me into undiagnosed depression, but a series of life events in rather quick succession that I could not control gradually hammered me down. Whilst dealing with one, then another would pop up, then another - overwhelmed me.

I lost my will and my self respect - felt completely ******* useless. Shut myself off from family/friends, wouldn't answer phone/email/front door. Got groceries home delivered (still do - **** shopping) would put the bins out at night so nobody would see me.

I'd had enough after a trigger point. Sat in my shed cross legged with my double barrelled coach gun in my mouth between my two beloved Fords. As I squeezed the triggers I thought about my two beautiful daughters and what they would think. That was enough, I reconciled to fight this "black dog".

I knew I had a major problem and sought professional help - as futile as it seemed at the time. It was a last resort. I made the call to my doctor and made an appointment. Brave considering I hadn't left my home in a while.

My doctor was very understanding and referred me to a psychologist, gave me a months script for Valium until she had a report back from the shrink.

I was treated with respect, understanding and kindness from the professionals. Their initial advice seemed like crap to me, my head was totally messed up. I listened and followed their advice as I'd reached rock bottom, can't go much lower.

This all happened about 10 years ago and I've progressed massively since. I still have just a touch of depression (like everybody else) but the anxiety remains. I'm much happier now and so glad I didn't chuck the towel in, you can't regret it in the afterlife - if any.

The point I'd like to make is that this thread is not a substitute for sound professional advice. No way would I ever seek advice from a forum for major depression/anxiety. If you seriously need help, you won't find it here. This is a medium for "mild" depression/anxiety and support for those that have it or are recovering from it.

Above I took liberty about mentioning suicide. My own situation was to emphasise where I came from - I/we do not want to hear about near suicide or thoughts of it on this thread.

Cheers!

so guess that is a goodbye from me, thanks to all its been helpful and i understand I'm in a much higher bracket and can't walk besides yas without tripping and could end up accidentally grabbing one of yas as i fall, and i definitely do not want to bring anyone down with me,, so ill see yas in the PM.. BA.. and word assoc threads, Go Get Beyond Blue, T

[nuthin' fancy]

Trejo,

I'm sure that is not how it was intended.

[Road Games]

Maybe so, but in all fairness Dave can't just relive his experience through the printed word and then state what can or cannot be discussed after he post's his personal experience's ?

It would be more transparent if he didn't comment at all if you understand where i am coming from .

I am well aware of the affect of suicidal tendancies trust me, we all have demon's.

Be well Trejo