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16-04-2016, 01:13 AM | #481 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 1,409
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Phew, glad to be here.
Just got back from my 3rd AA meeting. Again, very relaxed, great sharing and no arguments. And enlightening. One lad said he was so keen to recover, he realised he was racing ahead too fast. It's like trying to shift a concrete block, push, push. Eventually you'll give up. The block he says, will move in its own time. And that's one of the keys. One step at a time, in its own time. I'm still having a drink, maybe not as often. That's not the point. But the encouragement from the older members is just this...just keep coming. We did and we've been off the grog for 10 - 20 - 30+ years. That's how our little thread should be. Total respect and understanding. Thanks mates and moderators (Russ). I'd find moderating a tough ask.
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16-04-2016, 01:21 AM | #482 | |||
The Terrain Tamer
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 36,567
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Quote:
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Current Ride : A Ford owned D3... |
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16-04-2016, 02:57 AM | #483 | |||
Coyote ugly
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Wang Wauk NSW
Posts: 813
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Quote:
Same supportI've words from me too Madaya. One step at a time.. no judgement here.,only support and maybe a little envy lol... meaning I personally find it very difficult to stick to...well?...anything really... but new meds have me focusing on one job at a time for about 3hrs before I start to come down... only issue now is that if I do start a job.. eg car maintaiNance. . it can block out all other responsibilities that I may have on for the day (mainly my parents care ..cleanin. .washing.. feeding!... cringe... I forgot their lunch the other day.. not good). But have a laugh at it anyway.. they didn't fade away from starvation. Which brings me to my next topic. See above
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Not This Little Grey Duck |
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16-04-2016, 03:37 AM | #484 | ||
Coyote ugly
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Wang Wauk NSW
Posts: 813
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My elderly father , 85yo. Has just been diagnosed with cancer in the liver spread from (more tests to come) what the GP and the Gastroenterologist assume from CT scan. his Bowels.
Fearing a colonostomy ? Is that right spelling? Fearing a camera up the colon can/does take a lot out of the elderly. But looks like he must so he'll be hospitalised for the prep (thank the powers that be) cause I myself only just made it to the toilet during the prep stages when I had it done. He wouldn't even get off the bed in time.. and that's a lot of cleaning up to do if at he was home for it. Anyway back on track.. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with what to say or do for someone who has recieclved cancer news.. now he IS a big sook regardless of ailment types. So I've given him a week to take in what could and may not be the outcome. As I feel.. considering he is past the average age of death for an Australian male.. and he's not a child with a whole life ahead.. that he should stop this mopping.. feeling sorry for himself.. getting my mother to call all family and friends to tell them his bad news.. not eating won't let me take him for a drive or go to a support group ( keep in mind that the severity of it is still only speculation really till we see the Gastro-Specialist .. more tests etc. ) And I find it hard to be empathetic as BPD does lack that emotional response ( ie.. prevention of having to cope with misery) or it's psychopathology... which I've tested to be in the latter percentage of also ( remembering I suffer an overlapping disorder) in fact . The reason my new meds were lawfully prescribed was due to the overlapping of psychosis.. something I've never been treated for. Sorry back to question at hand.. sorry guys .. so hard to keep on track.. what or how should I best support the old carnie with this. Told him to Man Up! But it didn't help (joke people. . Geez .. I jest ..tis what I do) ????? Thanks any captain obvious suggestions welcome
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Not This Little Grey Duck |
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16-04-2016, 07:27 AM | #485 | ||
Cranky old bastard
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 9,394
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Trejo, he may be a sook and wanting to call all his family but this could be him preparing to say his final farewell to every one. Him thinking the worst may be what the outcome will be. I think let him be in control of who he wants to alert to the fact that he may not be around for much longer but at the same time tell them the jury is still out. It is a hard time but if you dont and the worst does happen you will regret not giving everyone the chance to say ferewell in time.
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"But really...what can possibly go wrong" |
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16-04-2016, 09:13 AM | #486 | |||
BLUE OVAL INC.
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,674
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Quote:
I lost my Father to Cancer 9 months ago, if you have read any of my personal posts you would be aware that my family is extremely disfunctional and as a result, his wish to alienate many of his offspring right up until the final moments has left quite an emotional mess for those left behind. As Oldfella said, this may be his way of saying goodbye, of dealing with what is inevitable for all of us, we are all here for but a blink in the over all scheme. Let him make peace if thats what he feels he needs to do, to prepare for whatever is ahead and to give those left behind a chance to say goodbye should it be the case. |
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16-04-2016, 12:50 PM | #487 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 1,409
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I mentioned my situation with my folks at the meeting last night. One bit of advice was get in touch with Silver Chain. Will do first thing Monday.
So sorry to hear of your struggle Trejo and at 85, it can be all the more difficult to accept what is important and necessary.
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2010 FG XR6 I6 CC Ute, Nitro colour. lsd, sports suspension, Ford 18's fitted with Michelin Primacy 3 ST 245x45x18, MW Quick Shifter, Pacemaker 4500 Extractors, Carbuilders Soundproofing, KPM Street Fighter CAI |
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16-04-2016, 02:50 PM | #488 | ||
Coyote ugly
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Wang Wauk NSW
Posts: 813
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sorry did send a detailed thankyou to all 3 of you but it wouldn't let me post it as site signed me out during the 1hr it took me to gratefully reply to you all, now I'm not in a good way and are out of here, sorry and again thankyou
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Not This Little Grey Duck |
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16-04-2016, 09:45 PM | #490 | ||
FG XR6 Tray back
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Lockyer Valley
Posts: 156
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17-04-2016, 06:58 AM | #491 | ||
Beaut Ute
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Gippsland, Victoria.
Posts: 627
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Hang in there mate. I'm sure we're all thinking of you.
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—Cortina Mark I, Escort Mark 2, XR Falcon 500, XE Falcon 4.1 S-Pack, Laser KC Ghia, EF Falcon GLi, BF XR8 Boss 260 |
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17-04-2016, 07:51 AM | #492 | ||
Coyote ugly
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Wang Wauk NSW
Posts: 813
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Hi ya all. Again ahhhthankyouuu.
Feeling better Trej? Yes thank you for asking I've started a (what I think to be a good idea, at least during this polar level) A thread titled 'my BPD Vs a healthy mind' along those lines anyway...under subscription heading??? Advice Central? ? Maybe? Hopeless instant recall memory eh. Anyway it's to give me some insight into the workings of a healthy mind when hypothetically placed into a scenario of mine that my BPD has produced over the years.. a bit of fun I thought... but I consider Scrabble..well most board games fun. Along with Nachos, shuffle board and lawn bowls.
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Not This Little Grey Duck |
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17-04-2016, 08:52 AM | #493 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Topend of Oz since 1980
Posts: 5,299
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Ahh come on Geriatric Marbles - Really - if your gunna play with little round balls then you need a bag of cat's eyes / glass eyes and Tombowlers. ROFL
Have a good day! Cheers Vinny
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18-04-2016, 02:54 AM | #494 | ||
Beaut Ute
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Gippsland, Victoria.
Posts: 627
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I was somewhat disappointed this morning to read this article in the Melbourne AGE:
One in Five Australians Believes People with Anxiety "put it on". New research has revealed that one in five Australians believes people with anxiety are "putting it on". The research, which is to be released by charity beyondblue today, also shows more than 10 per cent of Australians aged between 30 and 34 believe people with anxiety are untrustworthy. Beyondblue chief executive Georgie Harman said anxiety was not just feeling stressed or worried. "It is when these feelings don't subside and are ongoing without any particular reason or cause. Everyone feels anxious from time to time, but for someone experiencing anxiety, these feelings can't be easily controlled," she said. The survey of more than 1200 Australians reveals that damaging attitudes and discrimination against those suffering from anxiety remain. Almost half agree that people with anxiety are judged or discriminated against. —Check out the interactive graphics at the bottom of the page for the breakdown of opinion.
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—Cortina Mark I, Escort Mark 2, XR Falcon 500, XE Falcon 4.1 S-Pack, Laser KC Ghia, EF Falcon GLi, BF XR8 Boss 260 |
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18-04-2016, 08:25 AM | #495 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Western Sydney
Posts: 746
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Quote:
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2001 Laser KQ SR 2004 BA Fairmont Ghia 2000 AUII Fairmont 1995 EF Fairmont - Tickford Enhanced 1980 ZL Fairlane in Brambles red |
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18-04-2016, 10:45 AM | #496 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 5,070
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Quote:
While there's a propensity to fake an illness, and take advantage of that fact, you'll have a proportion of the populace that treats said illness with suspicion. People on DSP/Workers Comp/etc probably find the same thing. |
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18-04-2016, 11:00 AM | #497 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,922
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Quote:
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18-04-2016, 11:33 AM | #498 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 5,070
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If I had some evidence that they had ever performed the job satisfactorily, I might. Some people bite off more than they can chew, and end up stressed trying to keep up as a result. Is that the fault of the boss, or the worker who overstated their abilities?
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18-04-2016, 11:35 AM | #499 | ||
Donating Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Morayfield
Posts: 28,091
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This thread is about people discussion their own personal issues with depression and anxiety. Perhaps you might give this thread a miss
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I love Holdens.... |
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18-04-2016, 12:20 PM | #500 | ||
Coyote ugly
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Wang Wauk NSW
Posts: 813
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are you showing your age or what :-p
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Not This Little Grey Duck |
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18-04-2016, 12:51 PM | #501 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 5,070
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I deal with my anxiety by accepting it as a personality trait rather than an illness (rightly or wrongly). I'm not about to blame my own responses on those around me, especially when I observe others exposed to the same stresses able to deal with them without issue. I accept that its a view not shared by many, and likely one expected not to be shared full stop.
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18-04-2016, 01:18 PM | #502 | ||
Coyote ugly
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Wang Wauk NSW
Posts: 813
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WOW, and i mean WOW!
aren't people the biggest upset of the animal Kingdom? you could not script what adding grey matter frontal lobes to opposable thumbs could do to world? today is a good day. .a good day to admit that i have a real struggle with controlling my cognitive behaviour, what i say and think can be so determining of how the day/week will pan out, i hate talking I REALLY DO, as i was so good at it (when i was unaware of my disorder and the judgement it brought upon me) so good at talking...that it ended up just that...TALK. now I'm so aware that i WILL say something inappropriate or outright insulting at somestage resulting in , at the least embarrassing myself , which i find hard to deal with, punishing myself sleepless and desecrated, with fingernails that i without a breath are gnawed to a bloody mess, i have 8 bandaids at this moment covering said nails, i have 3 types for different applications of finger usage to carry my dailey chores. this is a 3-4 day per fortnight on average event. I meet all you kind supportive people on this site and get exited like a kid when we PM and i was even privileged enough to get a couple your phone numbers to text to... and now after hearing a couple of voices put to the names, i pull my head back into my shell, afraid VERY AFRAID, as to not show the true severity of the damage done, i want so much to be normal and working again, but the truth is I NEVER WAS NORMAL and the damage done affected/effected others, which having apathy as a BPD/psychopathological trait, didn't seem to bother me through the years, but now know IT DID, so much that i won't allow it again. thanks to the forum and all involved, i have been befriended and for that i am grateful but more unsure than i have ever been of me. keep well
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Not This Little Grey Duck |
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18-04-2016, 03:25 PM | #503 | ||
Lyminge, Shepway, Kent
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Geelong - Go Cats
Posts: 3,197
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Just a reminder to all posting here that it a venue for you to talk about what is happening to you, not for your view on what the rest of the world is doing.
Anyone who senses increasing difficulties should call Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or www.beyondblue.org.au, or http://headspace.org.au/ or a similar organisation. This thread is not intended to substitute for these services.
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Mel Brooks sums it up best; "Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die, tragedy is when I get a paper cut" |
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19-04-2016, 06:20 AM | #504 | ||||
Beaut Ute
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Gippsland, Victoria.
Posts: 627
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Quote:
And no; you're also wrong about people purportedly being "incapable" of doing their jobs, and who should be seeking easier work. I've seen good workers who've been with companies for a decade or more succumb to stress, anxiety disorders and clinical depression. It often has to do with company restructuring, downsizing its workforce, relocating, shifting market requirements, or even ignorant/young/inexperienced/under-qualified middle management not being able to see potentially critical problems before they arise and act proactively. So yes; in the latter case, there are situations where it's more than appropriate to blame the boss. Quote:
I hope this better clarifies the issue.
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19-04-2016, 06:31 AM | #505 | |||
Beaut Ute
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Gippsland, Victoria.
Posts: 627
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Quote:
At home I always look as though my duds have come out of the rag bag. Keep on hangin' in there my friend; we'll make it through eventually.
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—Cortina Mark I, Escort Mark 2, XR Falcon 500, XE Falcon 4.1 S-Pack, Laser KC Ghia, EF Falcon GLi, BF XR8 Boss 260 |
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19-04-2016, 12:41 PM | #506 | |||
Coyote ugly
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Wang Wauk NSW
Posts: 813
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Quote:
I was having a couple of bad days and I guess that's why I need this thread. Thank you all again. Enjoy the week to the best of your abilities and as long as you gave things ago... you know you are at least fighting the Blue. Not the Blue oval of course.. can't fight thar addiction.. just go with it lol
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Not This Little Grey Duck |
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19-04-2016, 01:27 PM | #507 | |||
Missing a sock...
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Brisbane 4017
Posts: 8,250
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Quote:
Not going into my personal circumstances that led me into undiagnosed depression, but a series of life events in rather quick succession that I could not control gradually hammered me down. Whilst dealing with one, then another would pop up, then another - overwhelmed me. I lost my will and my self respect - felt completely ******* useless. Shut myself off from family/friends, wouldn't answer phone/email/front door. Got groceries home delivered (still do - **** shopping) would put the bins out at night so nobody would see me. I'd had enough after a trigger point. Sat in my shed cross legged with my double barrelled coach gun in my mouth between my two beloved Fords. As I squeezed the triggers I thought about my two beautiful daughters and what they would think. That was enough, I reconciled to fight this "black dog". I knew I had a major problem and sought professional help - as futile as it seemed at the time. It was a last resort. I made the call to my doctor and made an appointment. Brave considering I hadn't left my home in a while. My doctor was very understanding and referred me to a psychologist, gave me a months script for Valium until she had a report back from the shrink. I was treated with respect, understanding and kindness from the professionals. Their initial advice seemed like crap to me, my head was totally messed up. I listened and followed their advice as I'd reached rock bottom, can't go much lower. This all happened about 10 years ago and I've progressed massively since. I still have just a touch of depression (like everybody else) but the anxiety remains. I'm much happier now and so glad I didn't chuck the towel in, you can't regret it in the afterlife - if any. The point I'd like to make is that this thread is not a substitute for sound professional advice. No way would I ever seek advice from a forum for major depression/anxiety. If you seriously need help, you won't find it here. This is a medium for "mild" depression/anxiety and support for those that have it or are recovering from it. Above I took liberty about mentioning suicide. My own situation was to emphasise where I came from - I/we do not want to hear about near suicide or thoughts of it on this thread. Cheers!
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Last edited by supershifty; 19-04-2016 at 01:35 PM. |
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20-04-2016, 11:12 AM | #508 | |||
Coyote ugly
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Wang Wauk NSW
Posts: 813
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Quote:
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Not This Little Grey Duck |
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20-04-2016, 11:15 AM | #509 | ||
Lyminge, Shepway, Kent
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Geelong - Go Cats
Posts: 3,197
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Trejo,
I'm sure that is not how it was intended.
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Mel Brooks sums it up best; "Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die, tragedy is when I get a paper cut" |
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20-04-2016, 01:22 PM | #510 | ||
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Gods Country
Posts: 16,258
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Maybe so, but in all fairness Dave can't just relive his experience through the printed word and then state what can or cannot be discussed after he post's his personal experience's ?
It would be more transparent if he didn't comment at all if you understand where i am coming from . I am well aware of the affect of suicidal tendancies trust me, we all have demon's. Be well Trejo |
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