Depression, Anxiety

[supershifty]

Originally Posted by DAZZLR

Maybe so, but in all fairness Dave can't just relive his experience through the printed word and then state what can or cannot be discussed after he post's his personal experience's ?

It would be more transparent if he didn't comment at all if you understand where i am coming from .

I am well aware of the affect of suicidal tendancies trust me, we all have demon's.

Be well Trejo

I have the right to post my opinion on this thread, just as DAZZLR has.

How would it be more transparent if I didn't post? Think about it ffs.

Quoting myself:

"The point I'd like to make is that this thread is not a substitute for sound professional advice. No way would I ever seek advice from a forum for major depression/anxiety. If you seriously need help, you won't find it here. This is a medium for "mild" depression/anxiety and support for those that have it or are recovering from it."

"Above I took liberty about mentioning suicide. My own situation was to emphasise where I came from - I/we do not want to hear about near suicide or thoughts of it on this thread."

Yes, I made the statement in bold about suicide - I refer to the above quoted paragraph/s. I carry no weight as a moderator in this thread, I'll say no more than it's being monitored and I'd like to see the thread stay.

Cheers!

[Mercury Bullet]

Originally Posted by Trejo

My elderly father , 85yo. Has just been diagnosed with cancer in the liver spread from (more tests to come) what the GP and the Gastroenterologist assume from CT scan. his Bowels.
Fearing a colonostomy ? Is that right spelling? Fearing a camera up the colon can/does take a lot out of the elderly. But looks like he must so he'll be hospitalised for the prep (thank the powers that be) cause I myself only just made it to the toilet during the prep stages when I had it done. He wouldn't even get off the bed in time.. and that's a lot of cleaning up to do if at he was home for it. Anyway back on track.. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with what to say or do for someone who has recieclved cancer news.. now he IS a big sook regardless of ailment types. So I've given him a week to take in what could and may not be the outcome. As I feel.. considering he is past the average age of death for an Australian male.. and he's not a child with a whole life ahead.. that he should stop this mopping.. feeling sorry for himself.. getting my mother to call all family and friends to tell them his bad news.. not eating won't let me take him for a drive or go to a support group ( keep in mind that the severity of it is still only speculation really till we see the Gastro-Specialist .. more tests etc. )
And I find it hard to be empathetic as BPD does lack that emotional response ( ie.. prevention of having to cope with misery) or it's psychopathology... which I've tested to be in the latter percentage of also ( remembering I suffer an overlapping disorder) in fact
. The reason my new meds were lawfully prescribed was due to the overlapping of psychosis.. something I've never been treated for.
Sorry back to question at hand.. sorry guys .. so hard to keep on track.. what or how should I best support the old carnie with this. Told him to Man Up! But it didn't help (joke people. . Geez .. I jest ..tis what I do)
????? Thanks any captain obvious suggestions welcome

How's your dad?

I had an uncle who was diagnosed with lung cancer early last year after countless scans trying to find out why he had suffered severe weight loss.

A patch in his lung was picked up on MRI.
After a few weeks he had a biopsy done on his lung...came back negative to cancer. Then a few months later he was xray'd and they said the lump had grown, it must be cancer, come back in for another biopsy.
So he did...negative result again.

This went on for months and months not knowing if he was going to live or die.

All I can advise is don't think it's the end of the world, or even cancer until you get some definitive pathology results.

The medical system put my uncle through hell last year.
He's fighting fit again now and does not have lung cancer.

I lost my mum 2 months ago to alzheimers.
All you can do is be there for them...it's hard to watch, but I'm just thankful I could be there and forever thankful she was my mum!

[BLUEYBA]

This is just a support page. Many of the posts here have advised people to see professional help. People who post are trying to let things out that are affecting them in the hope that others with the same illness can understand what they are going through and give them hope that things can get better. This is a support thread and does not replace the work that medical professionals do. It compliments the hard work that has been started to help people get better.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Mercury Bullet

How's your dad?

I had an uncle who was diagnosed with lung cancer early last year after countless scans trying to find out why he had suffered severe weight loss.

A patch in his lung was picked up on MRI.
After a few weeks he had a biopsy done on his lung...came back negative to cancer. Then a few months later he was xray'd and they said the lump had grown, it must be cancer, come back in for another biopsy.
So he did...negative result again.

This went on for months and months not knowing if he was going to live or die.

All I can advise is don't think it's the end of the world, or even cancer until you get some definitive pathology results.

The medical system put my uncle through hell last year.
He's fighting fit again now and does not have lung cancer.

I lost my mum 2 months ago to alzheimers.
All you can do is be there for them...it's hard to watch, but I'm just thankful I could be there and forever thankful she was my mum!

thanks for that merc, i am now aware of my apathy as a result of my disorder', not an original Personality trait I'm sure, and it makes it hard to show support when it comes to such an emotional issue (if you google BPD on a trusted medical site, you will understand the emotional symptons of it and how uncontrollable they are) so BPD best defence is to dissociate, the best i came up with is i told him that I have no answers or words of wisdom but to know that I'm here and await for you to tell me what you want me to do for you that will ease your existance in that moment in time? ?" dont worry about me " was his response, "ok i won't, f#@* you ya ungrateful old cun..ningly manipulative codger!" was on the tip of tongue but luckily i had taken my meds before that.

[Tui2]

SUPERSHIFTY, I apologise for (unintentionally) singling out your thread only for my leaving the thread, unfair on you, although it was hypocritical in my initial thought, but my response was an emotional backlash building up from quite a few different threads of this last month or so, that was making me feel that due to the severity of my suffering, maybe it was bringing people down and not helping as i so much intended my input to be about, to show that it is possible to keep going with true support and relentless attempts at being Mindful, of Behavioural Therapy and of acceptance that it may also not get any better, but here with helpful kind words of support and undetstanding FROM TRUE BLUE BLOODED AUSSIES it can be manageable.,
emotional irrationality is 'THE' MAJOR SYMPTOMATIC FAULT with BPDers and has always been my downfall and deciding factor in my lifes misdirectional decision making fubars ( and spare of the moment hitch hiking adventures too i might add) even ran away to Melbourne and joined a circus For Real!
anyway sorry and thanks to all especially Maydaya for the PM that got me to read on in this thread, champion trying his best too.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Mercury Bullet

How's your dad?

I had an uncle who was diagnosed with lung cancer early last year after countless scans trying to find out why he had suffered severe weight loss.

A patch in his lung was picked up on MRI.
After a few weeks he had a biopsy done on his lung...came back negative to cancer. Then a few months later he was xray'd and they said the lump had grown, it must be cancer, come back in for another biopsy.
So he did...negative result again.

This went on for months and months not knowing if he was going to live or die.

All I can advise is don't think it's the end of the world, or even cancer until you get some definitive pathology results.

The medical system put my uncle through hell last year.
He's fighting fit again now and does not have lung cancer.

I lost my mum 2 months ago to alzheimers.
All you can do is be there for them...it's hard to watch, but I'm just thankful I could be there and forever thankful she was my mum!

sorry merc, I did mean in the last that I thanked you in, to give you my condolences for mum, and a heartfelt understanding of your grief and sorrow of watching such a cruel disease take a loved ones life. may you and your family find the sstrength to keep your heads above the Blue

[Tui2]

to all that use this thread, how have you all been? are you all having a good enough week? has anyone had an issue that a chat about may help clear its woes?
I have just been honoured with my 'Estranged' son's presence for a couple of days.. I say estranged as I hardly seem since he left high school and went to uni, he is 20yo this year and don't that make you start singing 'Father and Son' lol.
but the one thing that makes his visits, for the last 16+years, so relevant to this thread is the anxiety that comes with him, well he doesn't bring It with him as such, I've always had it stored away til he got here.
this was only brought to my attention by my beloved now-ex fiancé 3 years ago AND I have only had him visit me 6 times since then, and only just now has he visited me since the ex and I split approx. 9 months ago. this is why tonight I type, because after picking my son from the station this arvy, I finally picked up on the irrationale' of my actions since, as with me, when anxiety gets too much I start to sweat from a heat that rises from my chest, and I can physically see a red 'flush' of my skin in that area.
does anybody have similar symptons with anxiety?

[Tui2]

hey how ya going.

not bad at the moment thanks, just handled a touchy situation quite well and teel good for it.

good good, sounds like the cognitive behavioural therapy techniques you've been working on are achieving some progress for you??

yes they are, its hard to discipline yourself when it's been a life of dissociation (i have no control, i can't be to blame...when trauma was so great when i was young even into my 20s, this was the case, unfortunately it was adopted into my following decades and for that I've now attempted to contact and/or left a message with family or friends, stating my apologies to all that my Disorder may have affected negatively over the years, for not being diagnosed or treated in an effort to understand my actions and how to better myself,

better late than never eh?

ahyeesss..but i carry alot of remorse/regret for things that weren't forgiven. especially by my last and only true love, my fiancé for the last 8years pre September 2015.

yes it takes a strong person to persist with a loved one suffering BPD, from what I've read.

yes or outright love, no questions, but she didn't believe in unconditional love and what realist would? i do but conditions are of love... not violence or abuse of any type, but in sickness and health... my oath, she couldn't handle it when i had the manflu, she'd get angry if i asked for kfc or chicken noodle soup even, and couldn't handle me sick-sookie-talking, WOW! she'd go right OFF! Like A Tassy Devil in a sock!! ???? in fact i bought her a Tas plush toy because she sounded like him lol.. not funny joice. on that note caio

catchya round like a 70s steering wheel

[Tui2]

wat a difference a few days can do to available alternatives ??

[Madaya]

Hey mate, hope all is well out there. My solution to a good day is brekky, take meds, jump in shower and dress well. Ready to face the day. Got to bed early last night, a good sleep does wonders for the brain.
Got a few nice things to look forward to. Will speak more later.

[Tui2]

hey all n Madaya, don't shower in morning as hot water has to be saved for when homecare comes 5 out of 7 mornings to shower mum and old fella's old fella, water heater the size of my coffee mug. and by the time i get their dinner after the days effort and hopefully that has involved music in garage tinkering away from the tv noise and demented natter that after taking night med ... I'm zonked so 3 maybe 4 showers a week. clothes hmm don't get the privilege of relaxed clothes shopping...will run into lowes and grab undies n a tshirt on passing if i take mum out there, which hasn't happened for awhile de to my last visit to Big W for eye test/glasses was so very stressful and almost unbearably. as for grooming, well i put a number 4 clipper over head n face once a month if i anxiety prevents me going to barber, this i do by feel as i don't look in mirrors, brush teeth in shower and if it gets too annoying when i lay down...shave bottom of neck in there too.
i hate thinking about it and hate living around it.

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by Madaya

Hey mate, hope all is well out there. My solution to a good day is brekky, take meds, jump in shower and dress well. Ready to face the day. Got to bed early last night, a good sleep does wonders for the brain.
Got a few nice things to look forward to. Will speak more later.

Have to agree with all these things but especially the good night sleep. If I don't I tend to struggle the next day

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by BLUEYBA

Have to agree with all these things but especially the good night sleep. If I don't I tend to struggle the next day

Yeah maybe things will be brighter and peace will reign supreme the day I get to think of my health only... shower . groome. And put on a pair of JEANS AND COLLARED SHIRT the last time I donned them was a funeral few years ago. Maybe then ..when the oldies move on to greener pastures. Maybe then

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by Trejo

Yeah maybe things will be brighter and peace will reign supreme the day I get to think of my health only... shower . groome. And put on a pair of JEANS AND COLLARED SHIRT the last time I donned them was a funeral few years ago. Maybe then ..when the oldies move on to greener pastures. Maybe then

After reading your posts I fully understand what you're saying. Just try and make a little time for yourself if you can. It will do you a world of good. Even if its 30mins or whatever you can do.
All strength to you mate. Its a hard fight but keep fighting

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by BLUEYBA

After reading your posts I fully understand what you're saying. Just try and make a little time for yourself if you can. It will do you a world of good. Even if its 30mins or whatever you can do.
All strength to you mate. Its a hard fight but keep fighting

Thanks I did need to hear that no matter how well I think I'm doing. Actually doing it at the moment playing with parts in a mates mech workshop pretending my car is being repaired so they don't keep phoning me as to what time I be back or where are you. We need you you know. :-)

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by Trejo

Thanks I did need to hear that no matter how well I think I'm doing. Actually doing it at the moment playing with parts in a mates mech workshop pretending my car is being repaired so they don't keep phoning me as to what time I be back or where are you. We need you you know. :-)

Just remember small steps to start with. Maybe make that a regular thing to do at least once a week

[TheSneakiness]

You know I've been away from here a while (nearly two months) and I thought I'd review the last few pages of this thread and what do I see but ignorance and stupidity.

Just when I think my faith in "humanity" (I definitely use that loosely) I see the typical fools who would have no idea what it's like to wake up in the morning and go either why do I bother or what is going to happen today that's going to annoy me or why is there all these people around but I've never felt so alone.

No wonder I take extended hiatus' from here cause its idiots as such that cause the effects to worsen.

I actually have taken to not watching the news cause it's nothing but negative things being reported on for TV audiences and drama. They thrive on it. Same with these garbage reality shows.

I haven't been in a good place for about a month now. The worst thing I miss is my ex and my son's constant company and it's really doing my head in as they were the rocks I had to help me out of the headspace I'm in and cause they are there now as such I can't stop the thoughts.

[Vincenzo]

Happy B'day Trejo - hope it is a great day

Cheers Vincenzo

[Gypzy]

Originally Posted by Vincenzo

Happy B'day Trejo - hope it is a great day

Cheers Vincenzo

All the best for today Trejo, hope you have a good one. Happy Birthday.
Steve.

[nuthin' fancy]

Have a good one T - do something nice for yourself.

[Beastie]

Happy Birthday T

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

You know I've been away from here a while (nearly two months) and I thought I'd review the last few pages of this thread and what do I see but ignorance and stupidity.

Just when I think my faith in "humanity" (I definitely use that loosely) I see the typical fools who would have no idea what it's like to wake up in the morning and go either why do I bother or what is going to happen today that's going to annoy me or why is there all these people around but I've never felt so alone.

No wonder I take extended hiatus' from here cause its idiots as such that cause the effects to worsen.

I actually have taken to not watching the news cause it's nothing but negative things being reported on for TV audiences and drama. They thrive on it. Same with these garbage reality shows.

I haven't been in a good place for about a month now. The worst thing I miss is my ex and my son's constant company and it's really doing my head in as they were the rocks I had to help me out of the headspace I'm in and cause they are there now as such I can't stop the thoughts.

RAPID! I HAD NO.IDEA MATE... SO SORRY I DIDN'T FOLLOW YOUR POSTS MORE INTENTLY.. YOU AND JUST A HANDFUL HERE CAN RELATE.. AND I DEFINITELY DEFINITELY HAVE GOT YOUR BACK.
I HAD THE SON/EX WIFE BLOWN OUT 18 YEARS AGO AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE GRANDMOTHER TO MY STEPGRANDKIDS (ONE I RAISED TIL HE WAS 5YO AS HIS FATHER FIGURE) AFTER NEAR 9YEARS TOGETHER..LOST THEM 9 MONTHS AGO TO BPD.
NO NEWS OR SCRIPTED REALITY SHOWS FOR ME.. IN FACT I CAN'T WATCH THE ' REALIY' TALENT SHOWS NOW BECAUSE OF THE DRAMA THEY MAKE/BLOW UP AS BACKGROUND STORIES. PM me if you need an ear. Keep well.

[Tui2]

Happy b day to mesosorry.
Thank you to all for your kind... attention to detail and noticing a notice as I never have and apologies if I missed your b days since December.
You all keep well and this has been a memorable b'day because of it.
A quick ta to AFF for their b'day email (or the person who wrote the program for the AI.. and I guess these days I better thank the AI.. just in case.. I watch sci-fi. . I know my place

[Tui2]

i would like to point out why i suffer anxiety and are fghting so hard to eleviate one anxiety area at a time. so here is a simple explanation of my disorder.

p.s my father saw the Gastroenterologist today, blunt and directly to the point he was, and i quote"you don't have long as it has reached your stomach" unquote. i have no idea how to handle it, my mum wants power of attorney but she has an aortic aneurysm about to burst, along with lymphoma, AI, stroke, post polio syndrome, dementia setting in and recent diabetes type 2... so i suggested it best that i get power of attorney in case she passes whilst he is hanging in still, don't know anything about power of attorney or how better i deal with this... can't get them to talk like mature adults without em thinking I'm out to put em into palliative care...ahhhhhhh!!

[SYZ]

Originally Posted by Trejo

[...] don't know anything about power of attorney or how better I deal with this...

This site explains the PoA pretty well: http://www.publicadvocate.wa.gov.au/.../EPA_Guide.pdf

Another important and separate requirement, particularly in your parents' case, is an enduring power of guardianship which allows you to make medical decisions on their behalf.

[Madaya]

Trejo, a few of us are in the same boat. My dear folks (74 - 77) are suddenly old and dependant. They have not planned for this. I took Mum to the Podiatrist the other day - to get her toe nails trimmed. iow, she is unable to trim her own toe nails. Struth, it was just yesterday I could bite my own toenails, but time is relentless.
I don't get paid to take folks to Doc's etc and if circumstances where different (if I was working out of state), who would do the looking after.
Amongst other things, I might look into a 'looking after old fogies' course at TAFE. I think the biggest threat to Aust is the on coming load of oldies (of which we will be a part of) that is going to impact society.
Chin up Son. You've Mates here, always will have. Your input to the Forum on happier notes is always appreciated.

[Tui2]

thanks Maydaya, SYZ, will get onto that web address soon and let u know how we progress.
and chin up Madaya, at least you don't have tiny lesions in your face from flying 85 year old toe nails that ya have to cut yourself YUCK! HA HA HA A AVE A GOOD DAY FELLAS LOL

[snopony]

Originally Posted by Trejo

i would like to point out why i suffer anxiety and are fghting so hard to eleviate one anxiety area at a time. so here is a simple explanation of my disorder.

p.s my father saw the Gastroenterologist today, blunt and directly to the point he was, and i quote"you don't have long as it has reached your stomach" unquote. i have no idea how to handle it, my mum wants power of attorney but she has an aortic aneurysm about to burst, along with lymphoma, AI, stroke, post polio syndrome, dementia setting in and recent diabetes type 2... so i suggested it best that i get power of attorney in case she passes whilst he is hanging in still, don't know anything about power of attorney or how better i deal with this... can't get them to talk like mature adults without em thinking I'm out to put em into palliative care...ahhhhhhh!!

Thankyou Trejo.
Reading the description sheet makes me realise there are probably way more people that I know who certainly fit that description- while I am in no way qualified to say that is their condition for sure- knowledge and understanding of WHY some people are like they are, goes a long way with acceptance and help.
By the way, happy birthday from a fellow taurus

[Gypzy]

Trejo, Madaya, and any one else that has parents that are getting on in age.
If you haven't done so allready, get in contact with your local ACAT, (aged care assessment team). Get them assesst by these guys to access lots of help in lots of areas. It took a while for them to get to Mum and Dad for their assessment so get onto it, they are busy!. They will come to your place for an interview, and discuss what type of care/help is available for your folks, and their carers.
If i wasn't such a Dhinasour, i would put up a link for their web site, but i don't know how, so it's www.myagedcare.gov.au
Cheers.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by snopony

Thankyou Trejo.
Reading the description sheet makes me realise there are probably way more people that I know who certainly fit that description- while I am in no way qualified to say that is their condition for sure- knowledge and understanding of WHY some people are like they are, goes a long way with acceptance and help.
By the way, happy birthday from a fellow taurus

thankyou for undertanding the whole point of that post, even if only one person now has a better understanng of how we can so easily judge a person for their behaviour without caring why, then it is worth it to me, i wish i could do more. happy birth month to you too,