Favourite family guy quotes - Page 2

Psycho Chicken · 25-11-2006, 01:55 PM

I guess I told him! Nobody messes with Adam We.

loxxr6 · 25-11-2006, 02:13 PM

Gold -

Peter: It's already done. I dropped them all off at Toys for Toddlers last night.
Brian: All? Peter, only only one gift was for charity, the rest were for the family.
Peter: No, the rest were from the family. Weren't they? (Pauses.) Oh crap...since when did they change the meaning of "for" to "from"?
Brian: They had a meeting about it last night.
Peter: Why wasn't I told?
Brian: They sent you a card, but it said "for Peter" on it so you must of thought it was from you, so you didn't...you know...its just easier to call you stupid.

oh and....

(Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus.)
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian : Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian : Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.
Brian : You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian : A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.
Tour guide: I vill hear no more insinuations about the German people. Nothing bad happened. Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland. You will sit down. You will shut up. You will not insult Germany. (Throws his hand up in a Hitler salute.)
Brian : Uh, is that a beer hall?
Tour guide: (Snapping out of it) Oh yes, Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.

**Peuty** · 25-11-2006, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ea_silver_ghia

Stevie: The whole time his voice was getting higher and higher pitched. It was hilarious

There is an episode in Season 5 where Stewie starts doing that again, but Brian knocks him out.

Classic show!

Maximus · 15-02-2007, 09:36 PM

Peter: "So everyone in 1955 was on fire, I never knew that."

nothin suss · 16-02-2007, 01:10 AM

Fat chicks need lovin' too.... but they gotta pay!

GMSkitz · 16-02-2007, 01:27 AM

Chris - I'm so hungry i could ride a horse... i don't get it, i guess i could ride the horse to the store!?!

gozza · 16-02-2007, 09:15 AM

every episode has gold...

megs crying and stewie wipes her tears with his finger and says

"yes yes.your anguish sustains me"

pb02 · 16-02-2007, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by micksta

i laughed so hard when i first seen the outfarting michael moore thing .. that was bloody hilarious i almost cried lol.

That was one of the funniest things ever!!!!

My room mate and I were in tears laughing for ages over that.

Also the huge fight that the family has is awesome!!

:

vandrsxr6 · 16-02-2007, 09:43 AM

Clevland:' I too have felt the cold finger of injustice on my insides'.

fordbarbie · 16-02-2007, 09:58 AM

i love the one where quagmire thinks he's finally fallen in love with a woman, and imagines himself as aragorn and her as the arwyn the elf from lord of the rings. she's speaking elfish and proclaims her love for him. then he speaks elfish for ages and then its just translates to:
"Giggity"

bjr22n_ · 16-02-2007, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vandrsxr6

Clevland:' I too have felt the cold finger of injustice on my insides'.

: that was on last nights show.

Q: Hey does this look like a Q to you?
*Girl screams and runs off*
Q: How about now?
--------------------------------------------
drinking at the Drunken Clam
Q: here's to the Drunken Clam, where they don't ask for ID, and neither do I.

PDIDDY · 16-02-2007, 10:37 AM

See signature!vvvvvv

uranium_death · 16-02-2007, 11:46 AM

Peter: "Hey, hey Lois! What do you call a woman who takes forever to cook breakfast?"
Lois: "I swear to God Peter!"
Peter: "You call her Lois! eh ehehehehe"
Stewie: "Ah ha ha, well, the fat man made a funny. I rather enjoyed that...yes. YOU COOK VERY SLOWLY! As a matter of fact, if you were any slower at cooking, you'd...hell you wouldn't be cooking very fast at allnow would you?....well that one wasn't very good."
Lois: "Peter...they were laughing because it looked like you peed yourself...not because they liked your jokes."
Peter: "Well, maybe because that was part of my act! Urine happens to be very edgy, but I guess an unfunny person like you wouldn't understand that!

Stewie: "Okay! Okay! I've got it! If you cooked any more slowly, you wouldn't need an egg timer...you'd need an egg calendar! ah ha ha ha ha...oh that's right! I went there!"

Gobes32 · 16-02-2007, 08:45 PM

And to think the show was nearly canceled????

Gobes32 · 16-02-2007, 08:48 PM

Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

Dezza · 16-02-2007, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by acosta32

And to think the show was nearly canceled????

It actually was cancelled. It was revived due to the huge popularity of the Family Guy DVDs.

xrobx · 16-02-2007, 08:54 PM

Mr. Weed: Peter, your fired!
Peter: Aw! Damn it... for how long?

________

Peter: Mr. Weed? This Peter Griffin. I will not be coming to work today, I was in a terrible plane crash. My entire family was killed and I am a vegetable. I'll see you tomorrow. :P

________

Peter - I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life.
Guy - OH MY GOD!
Peter - No no no, I'm just kiddin. She's dead.

Some of the best

Dezza · 16-02-2007, 08:54 PM

Brian "Who's leg do you have to hump to get a dry Martini?"

And after Peter chases down his REAL father in Ireland (the latest episode), his real father has a pet sheep named O'Brien who looks remarkably similar to Brian. O'Brian asks "Who's leg do you have to hump to get a pint of Guiness?". That one was a classic

Also Peter's ad for a car dealership, he sang "At Wilkin's Hyundai and Subaru, we have Hyundais and Subarus"

Quote:

Originally Posted by fordbarbie

i love the one where quagmire thinks he's finally fallen in love with a woman, and imagines himself as aragorn and her as the arwyn the elf from lord of the rings. she's speaking elfish and proclaims her love for him. then he speaks elfish for ages and then its just translates to:
"Giggity"

That one was great too

Adam_351 · 16-02-2007, 09:55 PM

Lois: You're drunk again...
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted cause I've been up all night drinking.

DoreSlamR · 16-02-2007, 10:13 PM

sorry if repost but:
Brian: Lois, mhave you ever stopped and thought "i married this man??"
Lois: Nah i just supress it
Brian: Is that healthy?
(camera zooms inside Lois' head)
Brain tumor that looks like Peter:(singing) I'm a tumor I'm a tumor I'm a tumor...I'm a tumor I'm a tumor I'm a tumor...I'm a tumor I'm a tumor I'm a tumor

watever · 16-02-2007, 10:24 PM

Girl: Quagmire you said that were getting married
quagmire: I just said that so you will gagiggity my eshmoigen!

Gobes32 · 16-02-2007, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ea_silver_ghia

It actually was cancelled. It was revived due to the huge popularity of the Family Guy DVDs.

I actually went and bought the season 1 - 5 collectors pack after i watched an episode at my mates. Been in love with the show ever since.

M14A-Mclaren · 17-02-2007, 12:13 AM

Brian: Peter, what are you doing?
Peter: Crack.
Brian: What the ****?
Peter: Hey at least I'm not drinking Brian
Brian: Yeah, this isn't exactly a good substitute, where did you get crack?
Peter: From Blacks
Brian: What?
Peter: Yeah, right behind Blacks hardware, there is a white guy selling it.

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