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Go Back   Australian Ford Forums > General Topics > Non Ford Related Community Forums > The Bar

The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat

View Poll Results: Does Melbourne have the worst drivers you have ever seen?
Yes 16 32.00%
Yes 8 16.00%
Yes 9 18.00%
I have never been to Melbourne, I am scared of their drivers 17 34.00%
Voters: 50. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 28-02-2005, 10:57 PM   #31
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I'll admit though, driving into the city once I gave a rather wide birth to an asian, wearing a hat and driving a Volvo!
i think most of us would...
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Old 28-02-2005, 11:24 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by flappist

U turns in the middle of traffic, high speed lane changes without any indication or awareness of other vehicles, pull out from parks with no regard to oncoming traffic, stopping in the middle of the road for no reason, failure to understand what the STOP in the middle of the big red octagonal sign means, failure to give way......
Oh I see you've met our Taxi driver's then :P
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Old 28-02-2005, 11:26 PM   #33
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i been to sdy so i say no


on the city is bad but the rest is good


i avg 7 ppl cutting me off bad on the fwy in the morning haha it all about skill:P to look and find were there coming from :P

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Old 01-03-2005, 09:06 AM   #34
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No vote from me. You guys should try driving in Ballarat, U tuns in one way streets and left hand turns from right hand lanes minus indicator seem to be flavours of the month. I work in Melb and always fell safer there.
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nah mate, aussie cars are the besterest and funnerest, nothing beats them, specially a poofy wrong wheel drive
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Old 01-03-2005, 10:04 AM   #35
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I totally agree with flappist. I have a mate who lives down in Wheelers Hill and he comes up to QLD once a year. One time, we were going home from a bowling centre and another mate in a VB Rear Admiral decided to have a race with this Vico friend and what did he do... speed up, and then ran this other guy off the road and into a tree. Don't no-one tell me that Victorians are good drivers.

Mind you, 2/3's of Victorians live in QLD now, so we are getting bad, but it's from the Mexicans. Blame them, not me, or anyone else that was trained to drive in QLD.
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Old 01-03-2005, 10:11 AM   #36
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Pfft yeah right!

FACT - If it is clear, and Im not creating any danger to myself or anyone else Ill do a U turn where I like thankyou very much.

Im sure every state has a certain style, and they all suck. So you get you r good, bad and the ugly; and then S.A...lol
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Old 01-03-2005, 10:32 AM   #37
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Ahh Queensland

Perfect one day, Hat drivers sitting on well below the speed limit the next!

ROFLMAO
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Old 01-03-2005, 10:47 AM   #38
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Hey Minge... give us a break. It's the ex-pat Victorians making us paranoid. :
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Old 01-03-2005, 11:45 AM   #39
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Yes there are a lot of expat cactorians that have moved up here. That is ok, everyone has a right to a better life but unfortunately every time one moves up is seems to lower the avaerage driving skill level of both states.............

/me runs away and hides under an asbestos rock (flame proof)
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Old 01-03-2005, 12:09 PM   #40
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Victoria is certainly over-represented with lunatic drivers, and I can see why so many Victorianss fear driving in Sydney, and rightly so, do something mental here in Sydney and you'll get mown down.

I believe the root of the problem is Victoria historically bizarre series of road rules which thankfully are slowly being replaced. Driving in Melbourne is a unique experience offering thrills and and a level of risk that would not even be contemplated on a well run race circuit.

U-Turn Traffic Lights now here is something unique to Melbourne. Needing to do a U-Turn means the driver was going the wrong direction in the first place, why cater for it.

Hook Turns Melbournians in their ignorance of NRL, often extort the arguement "What kind of a game is it where you throw the ball backwards to go forward", Yet these same Melbournians will gladly pull int the left hand lane to turn right? Strange Logic indeed.

The old Left Turn RuleThankfully this gem has now been replaced by infinately safer international rules. It was not so long ago in Victoria that when turning left you had to give way to oncoming traffic turning right into the same road. The right turning trafiic however had to give way to through traffic coming from your direction. Confused yet? So were most of the drivers, this was a rule that had you watching every vehicle but the one that was most likely to hit you.

TramsThese rattly behemoths of the public roadways look quaint in picture postcards, and allow indian immigrants to fullfill their boyhood ambition of driving something more powerful than a Datsun 180B whilst wearing an ill fitting suit, but Trams are simply a menace!!!
And once you get out into the burbs you can truely appreciate what a menace trams truely are. You CANNOT legally pass a stationary tram, and once peak hour clearways are over, parked cars block much of the kerbside lane forcing all the traffic to follow these rattly bell ringing mosters.
So at each tram stop the lucky one or two at the front of the queue get to do the standing start drag to squeeze between the next parked car and the impending tram. Safety First that one.

Roundabouts Roundabouts are a well accepted convention for international motoring, and even Victorians can generally cope with them, but add a tram to the mix! Going round corners is an attribute trams are not a particularly good at, so "hell yeah" lets just carve some tram tracks right through the centre of your average roundabout and see what happens.

Tram Safety Zones The real genious of tramway design is that it encourages as many pedestrians as is possible to stand in the centre of major public roadways. Protected only by a a pipe fence and a brightly painted concrete ramp. These ramps have been cunningly shaped to allow out of control vehicles to be lauched into spectacular two wheeled sideshow stunts once only the domain of "Jose kanga and his hell drivers".

Motorcyles To even attempt to ride a motorcycle in Melbourne should have your file permenantly stamped with "Incapable of Sane & Rational Thought". If the inclemant weather doesn't induce frostbite into your every extremity then you get to play on the tram lines. The combination of a deep furrow parallel to the roadway and all those shiney exposed steel rails, will have you realising why that ambulance benefit subsciption was such a good idea.

Service RoadsYour second chance to get a desperate run up on clogged centre traffic lanes. Its not until you driven a cabover van with no rear windows from the centre lanes and through a service road slip entry that you can truely appreciate what a game of russian roulette is like.

Ready-Set-Go LightsNow somewhat rare, this Victorian idea of a flash of Amber before green was a great asset for those looking to utilise the public roadways as a place to improve their quarter mile reaction times.

Traffic Lights in Amber FlashThis one is a gem. Lights flash amber in both directions after hours.
These lights are sending the message, its King St, its 2:00am, your ****ed, go ahead drive however you damn well want, it wont make any difference.

Lane MarkingsThey dont mean a damn thing in Melbourne especially when you add a tram, some parked cars, etc.

So next time you see a set of the Blu & White plates in your state, be aware, be very aware, you are dealing with a traumatised individual who has had little or no exposure to an organised well thought out traffic code.
They have no concept whatsoever of lane markings , how to merge etc, and may feel its entirely acceptable to do a U-turn across 3 lanes of peak hour Parramatta Rd traffic. (Thats a $200+ and 3 point fine anywhere else Victorians.)

Sydney Traffic may be fast, may be unforgiving, but thankfully it does have rules. : : :
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Old 01-03-2005, 12:15 PM   #41
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OMG RED_EL_XR8, I thought hook turns were f*cked up, but damn. Lookie at all the other stupid road rules Mexicans have
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Old 01-03-2005, 12:16 PM   #42
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^^^^Pure Gems RED EL XR8,LOOOOOOOLOOOOOOOL
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Old 01-03-2005, 12:50 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RED_EL_XR8
Victoria is certainly over-represented with lunatic drivers, and I can see why so many Victorianss fear driving in Sydney, and rightly so, do something mental here in Sydney and you'll get mown down.

I believe the root of the problem is Victoria historically bizarre series of road rules which thankfully are slowly being replaced. Driving in Melbourne is a unique experience offering thrills and and a level of risk that would not even be contemplated on a well run race circuit.

[snip]
blah, blah, blah...
[/snip]

So next time you see a set of the Blu & White plates in your state, be aware, be very aware, you are dealing with a traumatised individual who has had little or no exposure to an organised well thought out traffic code.
They have no concept whatsoever of lane markings , how to merge etc, and may feel its entirely acceptable to do a U-turn across 3 lanes of peak hour Parramatta Rd traffic. (Thats a $200+ and 3 point fine anywhere else Victorians.)

Sydney Traffic may be fast, may be unforgiving, but thankfully it does have rules. : : :
Tsk, tsk, tsk... this coming from a sydney driver. :ymca: :nutsycuck

Lets now have a look at some basic rules for driving in Sydney...

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Sydney driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or somebody else will fill in thatspace putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered"going with the flow."
4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. The other guy doesn't have anything to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour.
8. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in Sydney.
9. Always slow down and rubber-neck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.
10. Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, especially 4WD drivers.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Sydney is the home of High-Speed Slalom Driving thanks to the RTA, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
12. It is traditional in Sydney to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.
13. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.
14. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.
15. Remember that the goal of every Sydney driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.
16. Real Sydney women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at 75 k/ph in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
17. Real Sydney men drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at 75k/ph in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
18. Heavy fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.
19. There is a common held belief in Sydney that highspeed tailgating in heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked along in the slipstream of the car in front.
20. It's OK to cut off fully loaded semi-trailers, road trains and buses because they have brakes.
21. It is an essential duty of the driver to preserve the life of their passengers. Hence no matter how much of an inconvenience it may be, always find a detour around Mt Druit, Redfern, Lakemba, Punchbowl, Cabramatta and Kings Cross.
22. Always anticipate oncoming traffic while driving down a one way street.
23. It's O.K when driving in Sydney's Western suburbs to air your grievances at bad drivers by giving the "one finger salute" while screaming out "*******" . But it is imperative you are driving a turbo charged 5 litre V8 with a crow bar in your lap.


ROFL...
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Old 01-03-2005, 12:58 PM   #44
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Nice one lv619. I'm starting to think that up here too, we have that problem with potholes.
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Old 01-03-2005, 12:59 PM   #45
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Now that I agree with!! :1syellow1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drew`SEVNT5
nah mate, aussie cars are the besterest and funnerest, nothing beats them, specially a poofy wrong wheel drive
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Old 01-03-2005, 01:00 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lv619
Tsk, tsk, tsk... this coming from a sydney driver. :ymca: :nutsycuck


ROFL...
Truth hurts huh? I have to congratulate you on this humorous piece, you and its original author. :

Last edited by RED_EL_XR8; 01-03-2005 at 01:39 PM. Reason: spelling. what else
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Old 01-03-2005, 01:09 PM   #47
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Thanks for the 'one eyed' options!

Some of the replies seem confused.

I agree, some community suburbs have there own rules. Dandenong/Noble Park for one. But i would clasify all of Melbourne like this. Sure we have hook turns but we have trams too! If you understand the reason for a hook turn then you will understand it!

I would have to say that Sydney is the worst city to drive in. I don't think any design went into it.

The old Left Turn Rule welcome back from the early 90's. That's how long it's been since Vic had this rule...
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Old 01-03-2005, 01:12 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RED_EL_XR8
Truth hurts huh? I have to congradulate you on this humorous piece, you and its original author. :
err, alrighty then... thanks for the congratulations on the humerous "piece" (which i did not claim to be of my own work) :togo: :jerk: LOL
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Old 01-03-2005, 01:19 PM   #49
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hahahaha this is getting to be fun.
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Old 01-03-2005, 01:25 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LTDHO
.... I would have to say that Sydney is the worst city to drive in. I don't think any design went into it......
Having spent many years driving in both cities I think I am a in a better position than most to judge.

You are partly right, Sydney road and traffic growth has essentially been unplanned, roadwork has for many years suffered from the Government negect that Victoria is now encountering.

Getting about in Sydney does require a particular attitude, and actually its not agression that helps you survive. The traffic is fast, and unforgiving, but is actually easier, people will let you merge in Sydney, just dont hold them up while your doing it. All those right turn signs, turn left a head one and go round the block, easy really, and a whole lot less stressful.

Melbourne for many years had the luxury of wide well planned roadways and relatively free flowing traffic. Welcome to the real world, in these days of developer funded urban sprawl, you'll now get the absolute minimum.
Try merging on Hoddle Street or in the Peak hour crawl out the Eastern, drivers will go to any effort to cut you off.

As the topic suggested, yes Melbourne is the Home of SOME of the worlds worst drivers, gradually they will learn to cope with congestion, its a problem that not soon going away.
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Old 01-03-2005, 04:56 PM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flappist
Having just flown back from the FPV open day, which was lots of fun, I have determined that Melbourne is the home for some of the worst drivers in the world.

U turns in the middle of traffic, high speed lane changes without any indication or awareness of other vehicles, pull out from parks with no regard to oncoming traffic, stopping in the middle of the road for no reason, failure to understand what the STOP in the middle of the big red octagonal sign means, failure to give way.....

It goes on and on....

I have driven in all Australian cities and even in such crazy places as LA, Montreal, Toronto, New Orleans (and about 20 or 30 other US cities), HongKong, most of NZ, Tahiti and melbourne wins hands down.



Now I understand why Bracks has more speed, I mean safety, cameras than traffic lights. You are all maniacs........
I think Sydney wouldn't be far behind.
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Old 01-03-2005, 05:01 PM   #52
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Victorian drivers are only bad when they are driving outside of Victoria.

I spent 5 weeks driving around Tassie over Xmas and the biggest idiots on the road all had Victorian plates.

Sydney drivers are bad, but they are predicatable. You know they are going to do the wrong thing and you can prepare for it. Victorian drivers just do their own thing.
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Old 01-03-2005, 06:55 PM   #53
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You guys are just ****ed off you don't have the GP :P
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Old 01-03-2005, 07:02 PM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Psycho Chicken
You guys are just ****ed off you don't have the GP :P


Not after they closed the Harbour bridge for 5 hours so Webber could drive across it.

They should have made him pay the toll like the rest of us.
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Old 01-03-2005, 07:51 PM   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Psycho Chicken
You guys are just ****ed off you don't have the GP :P
GP. lol , you pay to watch one, Sydney traffic we get to compete.

Only annual scrutineering required! Taxis welcome! Last one through the Toll gates is a Holden! :dr_Evil:
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Old 01-03-2005, 09:43 PM   #56
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Melbourne has by far the worst drivers..

on the same token it also has the best drivers... anyone who can dodge half the other F*&kwits out there... it's really funny how on long drives me and dad sit there playing "spot the ********"... you know you're good when u can pick out their next move and just how they are going to attempt to hit you, then you ask yourself for a second, "was that intentional?" and the answer is yes.. if you can't drive for shit why let others..

blah blah blah...
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Old 01-03-2005, 09:54 PM   #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by santoitaliano
Melbourne has by far the worst drivers..

on the same token it also has the best drivers... anyone who can dodge half the other F*&kwits out there...
Very good call there. Couldn't agree with you more on that one.

I've lost count of the number of people who I've encountered who simply shouldn't have a license, and yet are sharing the roads with us. Like the driver who LuvinmyEB and I witnessed drive straight into a brick wall from the middle of an EMPTY CARPARK!!! How anybody could manage to slam into a brick wall, from a standing start, from the middle of a huge empty car park, still has me scratching my (rapidly balding) head. Or the people who don't even slow down while approaching a roundabout and expect everyone else to give way to them - even if that means someone has to come to a complete halt to avoid hitting them.

So yes, we have some really bad drivers here, but we also obviously have some of the very best as well,
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Old 02-03-2005, 09:48 AM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The MaDDeSTMaN
Very good call there. Couldn't agree with you more on that one.

I've lost count of the number of people who I've encountered who simply shouldn't have a license, and yet are sharing the roads with us. Like the driver who LuvinmyEB and I witnessed drive straight into a brick wall from the middle of an EMPTY CARPARK!!! How anybody could manage to slam into a brick wall, from a standing start, from the middle of a huge empty car park, still has me scratching my (rapidly balding) head. Or the people who don't even slow down while approaching a roundabout and expect everyone else to give way to them - even if that means someone has to come to a complete halt to avoid hitting them.

So yes, we have some really bad drivers here, but we also obviously have some of the very best as well,
LMAO!

I had totally forgotten about the brick wall. There was a scary moment though, my car was the ONLY car in the car park and when I heard the crunch, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, my legs didn't want to move. I thought they'd hit my car.

They took a nice big chunk out of a concrete wall and totalled the front of their car. I still can't believe they did it from a standing start. :

Oh well better the wall then my car.
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Old 02-03-2005, 08:32 PM   #59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RED_EL_XR8
people will let you merge in Sydney
I'll generally do that here in Melbourne as well, just not when some smart ****, knowing full well they'll have to merge in a couple of hundred metres, thinks "I'll pass all these cars now and then cut in". Or when someone pulls out and drives up the empty lane which is obstructed to cut in further up the queue. These are the people who get cut off and deserve it. When someone holds position, and indicates early - they are more likely to be let in - unless they are travelling 20km/h+ slower than the speed limit and traffic.
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Originally Posted by Mark Webber
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Mark Webber after winning the 2010 British Grand Prix.
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Old 03-03-2005, 06:16 PM   #60
Psycho Chicken
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pauljh74
I'll generally do that here in Melbourne as well, just not when some smart ****, knowing full well they'll have to merge in a couple of hundred metres, thinks "I'll pass all these cars now and then cut in". Or when someone pulls out and drives up the empty lane which is obstructed to cut in further up the queue. These are the people who get cut off and deserve it. When someone holds position, and indicates early - they are more likely to be let in - unless they are travelling 20km/h+ slower than the speed limit and traffic.
Ah few people seemed to get ****ed off today. I was outbound on the Monash at 3:30, people would leap into the left hand lane for an exit, fly past the exit and jump back in, like they always did.

So I sat there half in the left lane and half in my lane so the pricks couldn't get past.
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