Has anyone here lost a baby?

[JC]

Originally Posted by Spanrz

I'm glad this has been brought up.
8 years ago, we found out that a little one was on the way, when we found at the 8th week, the baby wasn't where it was supposed to be.
Medical intervention had to happen. I had no say or choice in the matter, but just had to agree with what the doctors said. I had just finished work and found out 2 hours later that surgery was going to happen. It's been a very long hard 8 years without success. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it.
Had to learn to live with the fact that there wasn't anything I could do to help, it was the way it was.
Had to go through the emotions in the last week as we thought it may have happened again. But it was a false alarm. But the emotions weren't.
It really tests you and puts you in a position "to find yourself".
I also have a friend that also lost a child whilst being born. It is very tragic.
I can only offer my condolences, from a person that knows the pain.
We can only group together and offer our support.

Will never give up hope though.

Spanrz - hoping I can ask a few questions that you don't mind answering. Was the first pregnancy ectopic (ie in the tube)? Was the result removal of one tube? Have you since tried for 8 years without success? If so, your story is very similar to ours. We eventually tried IVF and had success first go (got lucky - and resulted in twins). Then 11 months later, the missus got pregnant naturally (not bad for one tube, and an ovary that only produced/released eggs when it felt like it). our theory is the first pregnancy helped the body work out what was needed for a natural pregnancy to occur.

Ours is a good news story in the end, but our son would be 18 already and I often think about the fact I'd have been teaching him to drive for the last 2 years or so, we'd be working on cars together etc. ie the loss or the what-ifs never leave you; you simply learn to deal with it, and time is a good healer and can turn tears to a smile eventually........

[GK]

So sorry for your loss.

We have lost two little ones, both around the 7 week mark. Even though we didn't get to see them, it still really hurts to think about their lives that could have been.

Each pregnancy brings the dreams, hopes and plans, that sadly die when they do.

I like a few others here, also believe that your precious little one is now in a beautiful and safe place, even though of course, he/she will always leave a little hole in your heart for not being here with you.

May God grant you the strength to work this through and stay connected to each other through your pain and loss.

I fully endorse JC's advice in his first post. Very thoughful and real advice there.

GK

[Mickxr8]

My condolences lance

Having had this happen to myself and my girlfriend 16 yrs ago can kinda understand yours and your wifes pain.
Very hard thing to get through but Dont be afraid to ask for help .
Looking after the wife is number 1 IMO then yourself

Have more to add but its taken 1/2 hour to type this and bringing back sad thoughts so , Apart from all the good advice on here ( which has been awesome ) , keep your chin up and try and have good thoughts for the future.

[Spanrz]

Originally Posted by JC

Spanrz - hoping I can ask a few questions that you don't mind answering. Was the first pregnancy ectopic (ie in the tube)? Was the result removal of one tube? Have you since tried for 8 years without success? If so, your story is very similar to ours. We eventually tried IVF and had success first go (got lucky - and resulted in twins). Then 11 months later, the missus got pregnant naturally (not bad for one tube, and an ovary that only produced/released eggs when it felt like it). our theory is the first pregnancy helped the body work out what was needed for a natural pregnancy to occur.

Ours is a good news story in the end, but our son would be 18 already and I often think about the fact I'd have been teaching him to drive for the last 2 years or so, we'd be working on cars together etc. ie the loss or the what-ifs never leave you; you simply learn to deal with it, and time is a good healer and can turn tears to a smile eventually........

Yes, was ectopic. Not in the tube, but lost the tube. Tried 1 round of IVF no good. That was quite a while ago. Saving up for another round. The wife had a few things going on and had to fix those things before anything else.
The things we have against us, to have a child, is quite complex, we are not the normal case of "just" infertility. Medically it's very low percentage to have one naturally. IVF "is" the only hope.
But with the "political" red tape of costs, it hurts so bad.
I have never given up hope, but the wifes body clock is winding down, that's the battle.

[au adam]

I havnt been i your situation mate but almost have with both my sons.We were very lucky.
They are 2 and 5 now and im facing another battle with them as my ex wife has taken them overseas(NZ)without my permission or knowledge.She has gone underground.