Depression, Anxiety

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by Trejo

well it's official, i have my life back and are feeling a bit lost, sad but happy, glad but sorry that the ICAC team concluded mums health assessment with the fact she now needs 24hr care and have placed her in respite until we siblings decide on the nursing home which we narrowed down to just one, so far, that we were all satisfied with.
im still in the dining room-turned my bedroom, under the table as I'm a bit overwhelmed with a whole house to myself. weird. thought I'd be happier, i think once i sell mum's hospital bed with electric pump adjusted air/inner foam matrress and rip up carpet, polish floor boards and buy a tall boy etc I'll feel better about taking over , in fact i recieved my first COUNCIL RATES bill today, that was the first bill in 50 years that made me feel human/proud, bloody emotionally worn though and was very depressed a few days ago, had to call for support , my faultvas I've been forgetting my meds, have alarms everywhere around house but by the time i make it to the sink, ive forgotten why i was there, so much so i found my meds on floor in front of sink this morning when i woke, brain seems to be deteriorating or maybe its just been too much responsibility and stress tye last few months?
keep well all

Hi
It will take time to adjust and fill your life with new things. You haven't had this freedom before so it can be overwhelming. Give yourself time and you will get on top of things. You just have to get your new routine.

[Tui2]

very down.. but still i cannot bring myself to visit Gwendoline (my mum) the things that my sisters have waited to tell me for such a long time for the right moment to tell me of the horrendous action's of mum towards me and my biological father,,, well it all puts my disorder in perspective as to why i am. but that was the past, mum also had a terrible upbringing , no excuse for her actions just reason as to why . anyway my father did try to fight for me and none of the stories that made him out a monster to me told by mum were true, she cheated me out of a life that i knew i belonged to as the only 2 memories i have under the age of 5 were happy ones with my biological dad, one of them was an accident in his HR holden which he tried to give me with my grandfathers initials number plates on it (same initials as mine if mum didnt illegally change my name) at the age of 14 (i hadn't seen him since i was 7, i now know why) but mum sold it to the local hoodlums causing my father months of anguish trying to get his fathers personalised number plates back. i was dissociative from an early age (blank stares, incoherence etc) when faced with any conflict progressing into trauma tantrums to major anxiety all through high school, but turned into uncontrollable rages by 19. until the day something inside me broke, been depressed ever since. the rest is history / my story where i look forward to happy moments that don't have a catch to em. keep well all, dont play with ya meds, take em the same time every day, and with exercise and support you'll fight to keep the pschosis away. get away ,! get gooo..go on off with ya ... who said that?

[Spudz27]

I am not sure if I have posted previously but have suffered depression as long as I remember. I have attempted suicide once and went out in my car 3-4yrs ago with the intention of doing trying again. Weekly I wonder if I should just end it, but for whatever reason I don't go past the thought. It sucks, one day I am king of the world with all these aspirations, the next minute I could nearly cry. Yesterday I made the decision to quit my job and study allied health as for some reason I can help others but not myself. It is a huge step giving up a wage, we are by no means well off, but the course only comes round once every few years and at 33 I am at a time in life where I do something good with my life and get into a growing industry that interests me or stay a retail pleb. This morning I am lying here saying **** it, it is all too hard. My current job the business was sold and I have gone from manager to pleb, the stress of that change with everything else, saw me rage at my new boss and I mean rage, is a long story what triggered it but I was blamed for something that was his responsibility and it was enough for me to go mental at him. He has walked in and pushed me aside, changing the whole structure doesn't value or care for my input but asks weirdly, cut my hours etc. I had been thinking of allied health before the change but felt guilty leaving my old boss in the lurch and feel guilty if I quit on my new boss as without me the business will fail as they actually know nothing about the industry or how to operate the business but it feels time for me to move on for me. I am not on meds and refuse to be and every time I see phsyc, they tell me they get paid for nothing as they can't tell me anything I don't know, often they say I should be one lol. But although I know what to do to help myself I never seem able to implement it. I spend money to be happy which causes issues and I always regret it. Getting married in oct and have not saved a ******* cent. I am at a loss and unless I can figure out a way to help myself, I am ******.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Spudz27

I am not sure if I have posted previously but have suffered depression as long as I remember. I have attempted suicide once and went out in my car 3-4yrs ago with the intention of doing trying again. Weekly I wonder if I should just end it, but for whatever reason I don't go past the thought. It sucks, one day I am king of the world with all these aspirations, the next minute I could nearly cry. Yesterday I made the decision to quit my job and study allied health as for some reason I can help others but not myself. It is a huge step giving up a wage, we are by no means well off, but the course only comes round once every few years and at 33 I am at a time in life where I do something good with my life and get into a growing industry that interests me or stay a retail pleb. This morning I am lying here saying **** it, it is all too hard. My current job the business was sold and I have gone from manager to pleb, the stress of that change with everything else, saw me rage at my new boss and I mean rage, is a long story what triggered it but I was blamed for something that was his responsibility and it was enough for me to go mental at him. He has walked in and pushed me aside, changing the whole structure doesn't value or care for my input but asks weirdly, cut my hours etc. I had been thinking of allied health before the change but felt guilty leaving my old boss in the lurch and feel guilty if I quit on my new boss as without me the business will fail as they actually know nothing about the industry or how to operate the business but it feels time for me to move on for me. I am not on meds and refuse to be and every time I see phsyc, they tell me they get paid for nothing as they can't tell me anything I don't know, often they say I should be one lol. But although I know what to do to help myself I never seem able to implement it. I spend money to be happy which causes issues and I always regret it. Getting married in oct and have not saved a ******* cent. I am at a loss and unless I can figure out a way to help myself, I am ******.

mate i don't pretend to be an expert this area, no need to pretend, i AM this area, now its your business who you see for therapy, but you sound very much within the boundaries of my disorder a BPDER beepeedee'er , Borderline Personality Disorder, note this title is still being debated after decades of not understanding and unable to successfully treat 40+% of sufferers, this is an overlapping disorder depending on many factors, ,main content causes are neurological, cerebral damage in or out the womb, but mostly undiagnosed and/or treated childhood trauma. .be it sexual, physical or as in my case, manipulated by a mildly incestuous overbaring parent who thrives on lifting and downing their childs physical and mental esteem ., to the point of co-dependancy between both. whilst more than often displaying childhood symptoms of OCD/ADHD/ or in my case and many of my family's members...aspergers. without treatment life has been one hell of a ride for me, near 50 years later i was properly diagnosed and trialed meds to best suit me and mine.. anti anxiety and AADHD meds allow me to(wantingly) complete the ONLY treatment known to succeed, a variation of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy designed especially for BPD, Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, I'm still awaiting acceptance into the course,but as in any medical benefit i receive, am very grateful for it and patience is a virtue concerning public hospitals, grateful is a privilege. so i will suggest and hope not to offend in anyway, find a psychiatrists whom, with patience and persistance, will listen to your diagnostic reports (no one knows ya body and mind better) and as in any intricate engineering marvel , help YOU troubleshoot. 30years of non diagnostic aid, 10 years one psychiatrist's misdiagnosis and 8 years f another before taking overvthe reigns myself with the aid of my GP and the Internet we read and learnt together before referring to a psychiatrist of choice for med trials and any other idea I MIGHT HAVE to help with the anxiety barriers i felt were the most important to eliviate one by one, first was my co-dependant major separation anxiety suffering lapdog, keeping me from too much public interaction anxiety causing IEDs Intermittent Explosive Disorder, which is what I/me read symptoms of in your posts.i think SYZ or MAYDAYA (other members of this thread) can also relate to that one, these seemingly small disorders ,i refer to as Side Disorders, which are also a good place to start, remembering that baby steps realistic goals are a must and you mustn't allow any one to belittle what small achievement you could only manage this day, month, year, every step is your achievement, and i cry and scream and smile and laugh and fade in n out of depression and suicidal thoughts and asperations every day sometimes ALL in one day ...but finally all these years later, i see achievements that need no other person's recognition than mine. and that is all you can ask of yourself. please private message me and the others if you would like to discuss or vent just quietly for now. no judgement here,, plenty of love and support though, and no sorry i am a hetro with emotional, verbal and mental filtering blockers giving a myriad sexual preference impressions as we say here Keep Up the Good Fight
ps another tell tale of BPD is the ability to council with expertise and the inhabilty to take heed of said council.

[Tui2]

Why the good ones??

For the last 4-5 weeks i have been trying to get out to the country to see my 58yo mate of mine of the last 30 odd years.. who's cancer relapsed after 5years and is now in Trundle NSW nursing home after 3 months ago finding out its in his spine, and in that time he went from walking with a stick to not being able to stand to transfer from chair to toilet.
This has had more of an emotional affect on me than the last 12 years of caring for my parents and recently losing my step father and having my mother be placed in a nursing home by Health Care Assessors.
Which by the way tipped the other end of the scale
Knowing that unless I drive another 18hrs there n back tomorrow, I more than likely will not see him alive again has stirred my otherwise dormant extra senses.
What?! Very sleep deprived as I only just returned. Sad though eh
.

[BENT_8]

Guys i have a confession to make, i did something today which is completely out of character and something im not only far from proud about, but rather sick in the stomach over.
To set the scene i will provide some background.

For the past 3 weeks i have been getting bombarded with text messages from my recently turned 16yr old Daughter about how she hates her school etc. etc.
She's a really bright kid, graduated top of her class afrom primary school and well respected amongst the school community for being a leader and positive role model.
I couldnt understand why she all of a sudden changed her attitude towards her studies, well on the weekend it came out as she broke down and exposed to us the extent of the issue.
She's been having problems at School with a few girls to the point of being petrified to go.

It started off with petty stuff over boys and such. She's recently met a lad and they've started seeing each other, its her first boyfriend and she should be over the moon but unfortunately it has ignited a situation which has escelated quite rapidly to the point where over the weekend she was subject to some of the most vicious abuse i have ever had the displeasure of having to read.
My Daughter suffers severe acne, just as i did when i was a teen and went through the same things she's going through now. Now im a firm believer in sticks and stones and all that, so much of what i hear i try to dismiss as typical school yard bitchiness, but when you attack a girls appearance and tell her she should put herself to sleep and never wake up it steps over a line and cannot be unsaid no matter how remorseful the perpetrators are with hindsight.

When i woke this morning to my Daughter screaming and shaking uncontrollably at the thought of going to school today it broke my heart, no kid should be petrified of going to school.
I managed to calm her down and get her to have a shower. Whilst in the shower i checked the morning news online and came across the story of the 13yr old boy who left a heartwrenching suicide note before ending his own life over bullying.
As i sat there reading it, my own childhood came rushing back and i remembered how i felt when i was ridiculed for the same stuff she's copping it over. I remembered how i bottled it all up and had thoughts of suicide or running away and how i felt too embarassed to confront it and bottled it up.

Well when i got to the school my Daughter began shaking again when she saw 3 of the girls.
I just snapped, i dont know why, cant remember, nor can i remember what i said but i know i told them what i thought and that if it ddidnt stop i would see it dealt with accordingly, plus a few expetives for good measure.
I also told them i had nothing against them, i dont even know them, but they cannot get away with such venemous attacks without reprocussion. I didnt touch them or go within a few meters, but they knew i was enraged.

I then got back in the car and realised what i had just done and felt sick in the stomach. Im not a confrontational person normally, would rather avoid a situation than instigate it.

I drove around for a few minutes, seemed like a few minutes anyway, probably closer to an hour, before i returned to the school and booked an appointment with the most senior person i could talk to.
I wanted to face up to the school and show them that although im remorseful for stepping over the boundaries of whats right and wrong, but also to bring to their attention why an ordsinary dude would snap under the circumstances.
The bloke i spoke to was fully understanding and went on to explain how bullying was such a huge issue and that they were working towards bringing down the statistics.
I listened for a while, much of what he said was exactly what you want to hear as a parent but i had to stop him and share a few things.
Firstly, their talk of suspensions and exclusions is a joke, kids embrace it as an opportunity for a holiday and to catch up on Xbox.
Secondly, the reach of the schools responsibilities cannot streatch to what happens on the weekend, to which he agreed.
So despite him assuring me that bullying was on the decrease, i highlighted the fact that the kids simply shift their MO to outside the school environment, who's counting those stats.

In the end i offered my sincere appology for my actions and made it clear that i would stand guilty as charged to face any reprocussions, but that at the same time i will not sit quietly and wait for my Daughter to become a statistic, hold a candle lit vigil and set up a fund me page.

Flame suit on.

[Ross 1]

I wouldn't have even apologised, you have done nothing more than a loving parent would do. Hopefully they go home and tell their parents so the whole matter comes to light and they can see what their daughters are up to. I highly doubt there will be any repercussions as it will highlight how little the school has done and they don't like their failings pointed out. We went through something similar with our eldest, although it was only brief, I was picking her up from school one day and she pointed out her bullies, 2 girls and a boy, so in front of a couple of their parents I loudly told my daughter that if they ever threatened her or hurt her again to punch them in the face and keep hitting till they are unconscious. No one bullied her again, the parents were too embarrassed to say anything and the school apologised for not acting sooner. I hope your daughter comes through this brief period in life with a positive attitude and a smile on her face and she will know her dad loves her and will protect her any way he can.

[Smoke Pursuit]

Originally Posted by BENT_8

Guys i have a confession to make, i did something today which is completely out of character and something im not only far from proud about, but rather sick in the stomach over.
To set the scene i will provide some background.

For the past 3 weeks i have been getting bombarded with text messages from my recently turned 16yr old Daughter about how she hates her school etc. etc.
She's a really bright kid, graduated top of her class afrom primary school and well respected amongst the school community for being a leader and positive role model.
I couldnt understand why she all of a sudden changed her attitude towards her studies, well on the weekend it came out as she broke down and exposed to us the extent of the issue.
She's been having problems at School with a few girls to the point of being petrified to go.

It started off with petty stuff over boys and such. She's recently met a lad and they've started seeing each other, its her first boyfriend and she should be over the moon but unfortunately it has ignited a situation which has escelated quite rapidly to the point where over the weekend she was subject to some of the most vicious abuse i have ever had the displeasure of having to read.
My Daughter suffers severe acne, just as i did when i was a teen and went through the same things she's going through now. Now im a firm believer in sticks and stones and all that, so much of what i hear i try to dismiss as typical school yard bitchiness, but when you attack a girls appearance and tell her she should put herself to sleep and never wake up it steps over a line and cannot be unsaid no matter how remorseful the perpetrators are with hindsight.

When i woke this morning to my Daughter screaming and shaking uncontrollably at the thought of going to school today it broke my heart, no kid should be petrified of going to school.
I managed to calm her down and get her to have a shower. Whilst in the shower i checked the morning news online and came across the story of the 13yr old boy who left a heartwrenching suicide note before ending his own life over bullying.
As i sat there reading it, my own childhood came rushing back and i remembered how i felt when i was ridiculed for the same stuff she's copping it over. I remembered how i bottled it all up and had thoughts of suicide or running away and how i felt too embarassed to confront it and bottled it up.

Well when i got to the school my Daughter began shaking again when she saw 3 of the girls.
I just snapped, i dont know why, cant remember, nor can i remember what i said but i know i told them what i thought and that if it ddidnt stop i would see it dealt with accordingly, plus a few expetives for good measure.
I also told them i had nothing against them, i dont even know them, but they cannot get away with such venemous attacks without reprocussion. I didnt touch them or go within a few meters, but they knew i was enraged.

I then got back in the car and realised what i had just done and felt sick in the stomach. Im not a confrontational person normally, would rather avoid a situation than instigate it.

I drove around for a few minutes, seemed like a few minutes anyway, probably closer to an hour, before i returned to the school and booked an appointment with the most senior person i could talk to.
I wanted to face up to the school and show them that although im remorseful for stepping over the boundaries of whats right and wrong, but also to bring to their attention why an ordsinary dude would snap under the circumstances.
The bloke i spoke to was fully understanding and went on to explain how bullying was such a huge issue and that they were working towards bringing down the statistics.
I listened for a while, much of what he said was exactly what you want to hear as a parent but i had to stop him and share a few things.
Firstly, their talk of suspensions and exclusions is a joke, kids embrace it as an opportunity for a holiday and to catch up on Xbox.
Secondly, the reach of the schools responsibilities cannot streatch to what happens on the weekend, to which he agreed.
So despite him assuring me that bullying was on the decrease, i highlighted the fact that the kids simply shift their MO to outside the school environment, who's counting those stats.

In the end i offered my sincere appology for my actions and made it clear that i would stand guilty as charged to face any reprocussions, but that at the same time i will not sit quietly and wait for my Daughter to become a statistic, hold a candle lit vigil and set up a fund me page.

Flame suit on.

This rings pretty close to home.

I was bullied my entire school life. One kid was an absolute ***** to me the whole time I knew him, stole stuff off me and just bullied me to no end. I remember one day my mum dropped me off and confronted him and abused the F*&^ out of him. It caused some dramas but the school had his history on file and knew what he was like. It was more about his mother then wanting to take action against my mum that was the scary part.

I think in circumstances like these your better off taking your frustration out on the school principal and holding them accountable. In the end my father took control of my situation and used to give the school principal a terrible time until proper action was taken, things were never perfect but I survived.

Any decent parent will defend their child till the cows come home. I don't blame you for what you did, I just don't think its probably the best solution to the problem.

[BENT_8]

Originally Posted by Smoke Pursuit

Any decent parent will defend their child till the cows come home. I don't blame you for what you did, I just don't think its probably the best solution to the problem.

Yes you are spot on, i knew as soon as i'd finished that i had stepped over the line, as an adult i should have been able to navigate our way through this without the drama.
I honestly dont know why i took it to that level, i just read that story this morning and thought hell no, not my daughter.

Too often you read about this stuff and the perpetrators actions are watered down because they come from a crappy home or some other pity story.

The problem is, who do you report it to to get taken serious, they are under 18 so its a slap on the wrist from the law and the schools offer of an enforced holiday makes no difference if the parents dont care.
The truth is, if these girls want to continue on with this they can do so in the street, at the shops, hell, they can even sit in the restaurant where she works and intimidate her, it only takes once and she'll fear going there too.

What really ****** me off is that they, as a group of half a dozen, can say what they like to her, but as soon as someone takes them to task they run to the authority in charge with their tales of fear and because im an adult im the bad guy whilst the real victim, the reason i was there in the first place, is brushed aside whilst they comfort the precious.

[bingoTE50]

My son is 23 , he was verbally abused after a game of soccer by this guy late 30's threatening to belt him ,not that my son initiated anything this guy is known for it apparently , just a bully . I was also there at the game and told this guy to pull he's head in. He walked 15m over to me, gave me a shove , so I belted him , then the next guy who come in swinging, which turned out to be he's son. My son had never been in a fight,I made it known to him its not the answer, I have had a lot of fights ,but not for a long time , 20 years or more. I take anti-depressants these days to keep me even. But this day i thought this guy was over the top and once he got personal with my son , I thought , nah , time to teach this clown a lesson.He ended up going to hospital apparently. Am I proud of myself , not entirely , but hopefully this guy and he's son will recognize they cannot just threaten people. At 53 I never thought I would raising my hands again , but no-one threatens my family .So I understand completely how you feel.

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by BENT_8

Yes you are spot on, i knew as soon as i'd finished that i had stepped over the line, as an adult i should have been able to navigate our way through this without the drama.
I honestly dont know why i took it to that level, i just read that story this morning and thought hell no, not my daughter.

Too often you read about this stuff and the perpetrators actions are watered down because they come from a crappy home or some other pity story.

The problem is, who do you report it to to get taken serious, they are under 18 so its a slap on the wrist from the law and the schools offer of an enforced holiday makes no difference if the parents dont care.
The truth is, if these girls want to continue on with this they can do so in the street, at the shops, hell, they can even sit in the restaurant where she works and intimidate her, it only takes once and she'll fear going there too.

What really ****** me off is that they, as a group of half a dozen, can say what they like to her, but as soon as someone takes them to task they run to the authority in charge with their tales of fear and because im an adult im the bad guy whilst the real victim, the reason i was there in the first place, is brushed aside whilst they comfort the precious.

Some people would say you over stepped the mark but its from good intentions so we can all understand. But the big thing that stood out for me other than looking after your daughter was that you took responsibility for you actions. That's something that doesn't happen much now days. So good on you for realising what you did and putting you hand up.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by BLUEYBA

Some people would say you over stepped the mark but its from good intentions so we can all understand. But the big thing that stood out for me other than looking after your daughter was that you took responsibility for you actiondThat's something that doesn't happen much now days. So good on you for realising what you did and putting you hand up.

totally agree, why do people find it so hard to admit to being human? even before i was diagnosed and couldn't explain why my reactions were so over the top and neurotic, i stil had no problem in admitting i was wrong , even to the point of just taking the blame and admitting human error in hope that the real culprit listening in would take it all,in for next time.
however i do not expect forgiveness as to accept it is reason to err again. my philosophical contribution to being overvtired and fed up with judgement

[LTDHO]

Why do other people take it personally when you are feeling 'down' and get angry with you because of it?

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by LTDHO

Why do other people take it personally when you are feeling 'down' and get angry with you because of it?

Lack of understanding, I get this often with extroverted people. Usually this ends with well he's such a sad sack, so I don't want to socialise with you.

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by LTDHO

Why do other people take it personally when you are feeling 'down' and get angry with you because of it?

That's a really good question. Its happened with me as well.
I'm only guessing in saying this but maybe they see it as a reflection on them. It can be very draining and frustrating to see and continually try and lift a person who is down. Some people just don't fully understand what is happening with the person who is feeling down. When you see a loved one in pain and you have done as much as you can to help but see no change they may feel that their help is not appreciated
I'm sure others could add more and they wouldn't be wrong.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by LTDHO

Why do other people take it personally when you are feeling 'down' and get angry with you because of it?

as bluey n rapid suggested, lack of a) understanding. b)caring c)reflection d) spite.?
i know c) to be the correct answer when it comes to my family and why they can't or won't get their head around my disorder, ever since I was diagnosed correctly, I've gone out of my way to explain it to the people i cared eniugh enough of to want to do so. yet most after i gave them a 15 page print out of my disorder from history to present , hoping it would possibly ease my anxiety to enable me to attend birthdays and xmas' again if loved ones now know how to receive me, ...... ?? WRONG , haven't heard from most again and my sister seems to find it easier to tell people (before i even get a chance to meet them, ie. nurses , solicitors etc.) to them that i have schizophrenia, easier to make an excuse for the bad times instead of supporting the good times therefore assisting in my rehabilitation. instead its made them angrier that there is reasonable explanations and the green eyed monster has taken over my sister (very personal back story to this but..) she is saying things and reacting out of spite which in return has worked as i will continue to avoid family celebrations.
annnnd scene. thanks for letting me vent.

[sneaky]

I haven't contributed much to this thread, but had a particularly crappy few days this week.

I'm currently swapping meds from pristiq to valdoxan to try and get away from some of the side effects the pristiq was having with me. I think the pristiq is wearing off much quicker than the valdoxan is kicking in and i was having some withdrawals.

Add this to a massive shakeup at work - approx 25 out of 60 people I used to work with have been given notice that they are possibly losing their jobs, 17 of the 25 will lose their job, the others will return to work after interviews and rankings are carried out. I still work at the same company, just in a different role but I still see the guys everyday and interact with them. and this was just the guys in my trade, i think there will be around 50 - 60 people leaving from my location.

and add to all that marriage difficulties, some real, some in my head and probably all seeming a lot worse to me than they are.

This resulted in a few late night, drawn out, difficult discussions with my wife and also a few days off work after trying to explain the situation to my understanding manager. I did leave work early after discussing it with my manger and he called a few hours later to check on me, I also received a few calls/chats from an older/wiser (than me) a co-worker to check on me. nice to know there are supportive people at work, and I have a fair amount of sick leave up my sleeve.

hope the new stuff kicks in soon and I can move on and start feeling better

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by sneaky

I haven't contributed much to this thread, but had a particularly crappy few days this week.

I'm currently swapping meds from pristiq to valdoxan to try and get away from some of the side effects the pristiq was having with me. I think the pristiq is wearing off much quicker than the valdoxan is kicking in and i was having some withdrawals.

Add this to a massive shakeup at work - approx 25 out of 60 people I used to work with have been given notice that they are possibly losing their jobs, 17 of the 25 will lose their job, the others will return to work after interviews and rankings are carried out. I still work at the same company, just in a different role but I still see the guys everyday and interact with them. and this was just the guys in my trade, i think there will be around 50 - 60 people leaving from my location.



and add to all that marriage difficulties, some real, some in my head and probably all seeming a lot worse to me than they are.

This resulted in a few late night, drawn out, difficult discussions with my wife and also a few days off work after trying to explain the situation to my understanding manager. I did leave work early after discussing it with my manger and he called a few hours later to check on me, I also received a few calls/chats from an older/wiser (than me) a co-worker to check on me. nice to know there are supportive people at work, and I have a fair amount of sick leave up my sleeve.

hope the new stuff kicks in soon and I can move on and start feeling better

hang in there. things will come good with the medication.

[sneaky]

thanks blueyba. I just think the other day was particularly crap for me. seems to be all good now, no tears/breakdowns for no reason.

once these so called 'brain zaps' from coming off pristiq stop i will be a bit happier. hard to explain to people what is happening and the zaps start off infrequent and slightly annoying, they get more annoying as frequency increases.


i'm lucky to live pretty close to the lake and beach in the newcastle / lake macquarie area. pretty easy to head to the water for a relaxing stroll by the water to clear my head

[Squalo]

Hey Sneaky - thanks for sharing mate. Brain zaps are a PITA, but very much a temporary situation. Watch your alcohol intake, easy to go backwards there.

[sneaky]

Originally Posted by Squalo

Hey Sneaky - thanks for sharing mate. Brain zaps are a PITA, but very much a temporary situation. Watch your alcohol intake, easy to go backwards there.

not a drinker at all.. my fondness / weakness for energy drinks and chocolate is probably not much better though

[Madaya]

Yeah, I don't know what is behind the zaps. Very strange. I will have to ease off the Pristiq one day.

[sneaky]

Originally Posted by Madaya

Yeah, I don't know what is behind the zaps. Very strange. I will have to ease off the Pristiq one day.

the zaps are easing off now, still have one from time to time but not constantly (that's how it felt any way)

only taken maybe a week for them to ease right off. I was on 100mg of Pristiq daily, I dropped back to 50mg daily for a few days, then 50mg as the withdrawals were getting to me (maybe 36-48hrs apart) and trying to "hold out" and stretch times between taking them. Now I haven't had Pristiq since early or mid last week.

I've been on Valdoxen daily for 10 days now.

still a cranky A-hole at home apparently - as was pointed out by my wife last night. Frustrated with myself probably more than anything, confused about where my marriage is headed, and getting easily frustrated with kids (8+9 yrs old) and yelling at the kids more than I used to and more than I should.

as pointed out by Squalo above, excess alcohol must be an easy trap to fall in. I'm 34 and never been a drinker at all, not a fan and probably rather be 'in control' at all times. I've been finding the temptation to drink recently just to turn my brain off for a while..

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by Madaya

Yeah, I don't know what is behind the zaps. Very strange. I will have to ease off the Pristiq one day.

What are these zaps?

I was on Pristiq and I took myself off it cause I found it wasn't doing anything as my mood whether I was on it or not was the same.

[sneaky]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

What are these zaps?

I was on Pristiq and I took myself off it cause I found it wasn't doing anything as my mood whether I was on it or not was the same.

not sure what the science is, or what I'm calling zaps is the same as others.

hard to describe, to me it is kind of like being zapped back to attention/focus, even though I don't realise i'm not paying attention.

[TheSneakiness]

Ah right... with me I never had that so I'm assuming at the time it was the wrong one for me.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

Ah right... with me I never had that so I'm assuming at the time it was the wrong one for me.

Definitely we all have different tolerances, and within ourselves have different reactions depending on diet and (as ive recently have had the burden of caring for elderly parents lifted) stress levels contribute to the effectiveness of meds, this time round Lexapro only gave me hesche for a couple of days but certainly they have targeted alot of anxiety issues giving me more headspace to really try conquering them. therapy is the key for me, the tabs help me there each week.
meds are tempory for some , as is therapy, for me I'm just hoping meds will be, and feel i NEED therapy, it helps ablance the mess.

keep on trying to find the balance everyone

[Joel.]

I am pretty new and unknown on this forum, but I thought I would share my experience with depression/anxiety.
I was diagnosed in 2007 (as a 14 year old), it runs through the family for many generations and unfortunately I was next in line.
I really struggled with school so I was put on Lovan and the effect was excellent. Everything picked up and I felt good again like I did when I was a young kid.
Then after leaving school and getting a job I could not cope. I got hit alot worse than before, lost the will to live and believed that was my only way out. I left the job and started seeing psychiatrists, psychologists and went on a number of different medications. None seemed to really work. I would learn strategies on how to cope such as breathing exercises etc. The medication was doing nothing but give me unwanted side effects. I had completely given up hope and wanted to end it but I was worried I would fail at that aswell and make my life and my families life worse. I also didn't want to leave my dog, I always believed that my family would understand they are better off with me gone but my dog wouldn't. That went on from about 2013 to the start of this year.
One of our friends from mountain biking was going through a rough patch aswell and he went to see a hypnotherapist. He said it changed his life, so I went to give it a go aswell.
After a couple of months I can safely say it changed my life aswell. It wasn't like going to see a psychologist where you get a list of things to do and hope they work, you just lay down and basically go to sleep. I still have rough times, but them times are very short, the same as my anxiety, I get it about 10% as bad as I did before and then it slowly dissolves away.
What I am trying to say to everyone struggling with depression or anxiety is don't give up. There is always something that will work. I know some people who go on a medication and it works, someone people get what they need out of counselling but they don't always work.
Don't give up, there are always better times ahead.

[xr8cam]

Originally Posted by 427camo

Very glad to see this topic here. Depression and Anxiety effects us all during our lives. My wife has been a Psychologist for most of her life and has dealt with just about everything you could imagine. If anybody is really concerned or worried about something, ask away for some good free advice.

I never intended to upset or insult anybody here. My own experience with depression has had a massive effect on my life and others. All I am saying is feel free to ask about anything you want. Besides talking to others, correct information is what helped me a lot.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by 427camo

I never intended to upset or insult anybody here. My own experience with depression has had a massive effect on my life and others. All I am saying is feel free to ask about anything you want. Besides talking to others, correct information is what helped me a lot.

hi, you say your wife has dealt with alot, and i bet she has, but has she dealt with a true (Borderline? Borderline Personality Disorder) because i truly suffer from one end of the scale to the other. even the main cause of my trauma has gone from my life, I'm afraid 50years is too long to come good from. I've tried all, latest is the Dialectical Behavioural Therapy but as per EVERYTHING getting there can be a major struggle when at rock bottom. Joel said in the penultimate post that it was his dog that stopped him from ending what he thought should be, and my little God sent angel (who ever what ever God is perceived by an individual) is my saviour in all aspects of my dailey struggles. please be more aware of mental illness' everyone as you may be taking to heart actions and words from someone close to you who simply does not mean to do so, and believe you me no one punishes us more than ourselves. and the correct response r action makes all the difference in the time it will take to forgive ourselves and be more aware of our actions and words next time, if we get a chance at a next time that is.