Depression, Anxiety

[sneaky]

i'll be giving the current level of Lovan (40mg) a work out this week.

just got home from a 10 day cruise with my wife, and with in a few hours of arriving home we broke the news to the kids (8 & 9) that we are separating and I was moving out of the house last night. this has been coming for a while, and we both kind of ignored it to make the most of the holiday that has been booked and paid for months ago.

my wife and I have been together for 20 years, married for 10 years, been together since we were 14 years old. it is going to be very difficult not being together. hopefully it works out ok in the long run, just going to be terrible in the short term. while it is no one's "fault" i am on the receiving end of the decision and would prefer it didn't have to happen at this stage.

while the arrangement is not permanent at this point in time, it doesn't feel like we will get back to the 'old days'. at the moment we are trying to leave the kids in the family home as much as possible to slightly lesson the impact on them.

back to the shrink later in the week...

[buggerlugs]

Gone quite in here. How is everyone doing ?

[solarite_guy]

To be honest, my position was declared redundant August 6th, then a new position opened up in another state. A promotion actually. Then yesterday I found out our division was sold to an international company...received official notification today I survived the acquisition. 40 others didn't...been a bit stressful

[Spudz27]

I have been doing prac for my course. Have thoroughly enjoyed it. Being in a hospital feels comfortable. I went in with the attitude of being employable, by the end of day one they could see I was confident but also capable and from then I was treated more like staff than student. Just finished 4 days at an aged care home. Had my reservations but have enjoyed it. Being a therapy assistant there has a few roles, you do activities, physio stuff, but you also still have to help them if they are lost etc. I even enjoyed the dementia wing. I just treated every resident like a person and not a child. I was told by many staff to apply to work there and my supervisor is going to tell the Occupational Therapist to use me for relief cover etc. I put my resume on file. Need to get my **** together and address the selection criteria for a job up at the hospital.

[elusiverunner]

I have been on Seroquel and Pristiq for some years now. It sort of holds the mild symptoms of anxiety and depression at bay. Of course the weekly Group meetings helps some too, but the deep feelings of depression and anxiety are still there.

[BENT_8]

Went back to see the doctor this week, increased the medication to 7.5mg a day and seems to be doing its job.
The boy my Daughter was dating called it off which she didn't take too well, I decided to take her away for a few days to try and heal our relationship and help her get over what's been going on.

Picked up a last minute cruise on P&O's Pacific Jewel, 4 nights for $124pp from Sydney to Melbourne via Hobart, a bargain.
Hired a car in Hobart and made the trip to Pt Arthur for the day, a humbling experience to be in such a beautiful place where so many people suffered, hard to comprehend really.
This was my first cruise and absolutely loved it, taking the Wife away in late February for our wedding anniversary.

[gtfpv]

guys i haven tread this thread and i aint going too , i did post in some of the earlier pages a few years back .
you can beat this stuff . i'm 47 , during the course of life many bad things happen , as well as good things . get up out of bed every day . and realise your still here . Sometimes just a smile in the mirror can get ya through , and get out there and smile , even if its at a tree or a fish , remember everyone faces the same challenges, we're all here together , find something to enjoy , even just a walk . never ever feel lonely in your own presence , and remember some days JUST SUCK !!! when you have a good day , you Will smile . Laugh at it all , theres a spot for everyone after death , theres no hurry . ENJOY !!!!!

[Gypzy]

In another post about dogs i said that i reckon everything was ok if you had a happy healthy dog. Well everything isn't ok but my dogs make things better, maybe because they are happier and healthier!
During the week i visited my GP on another matter, and we decided to increase my meds (prestique). We are monitoring "me", and whats going on around me. I have a fair bit on my plate and need to be myself around the sick people that take up allot of my energy and emotions.
So a couple of weeks ago, i went and bought a Kayak. Something that gtfpv said in his previous post, "find something to enjoy". I'm getting out there and enjoying the great outdoors. Can't get my dog on it because she would xxxx her self but thats ok, just me and the outdoors.

[Tui2]

Sorry been of no support of late. Busy trying to sort out what is to become of my future when this contesting of will and selfish rivalry over the sale of the house finally sorts itself out.. I have been keeping and kept out of it as it's stress I do not need nor could cope with and will accept whatever that wasn't mine .. if any... nice to be compensated for the years of caring I gave my mother and stepfather but I never expected to be.at the least I will receive the reimbursement payment of the rates i've been paying and up keep of property during this mess.

Anyway I did, although i only NOTED, I did read all the posts since my last. And to those who stopped by .. do come again.

Ok my noteworthy Anxiety issue of late.

My son is nearing 21yo and about a month ago informed me via text message that he has legally changed his last name to his stepfather's. Which I suggested it be ok to do when his first half brother was enrolled in his school about 12 years ago (it hurt me to say so of course.. but for my son to feel connected to and secure was the importance of it)..and he decided with having it hyphenated was hip..as I was still 'somebody" in his eyes then. Anyway the closing clause of said text message was that, and I quote, "I more than likely won't be coming up that way to visit anymore as im focusing on my family here now." I replied with a positive ' it's your life son.. do what makes YOU happy.'

Then after a few up n down irrational emotional well-contained reactions and a long hard perspective thought arrangement. I'd realised from here on I am totally free of any obligation to provide in any manner whatsoever.. bar for my dog and myself. Therefore 25th Dec 2016 Anxiety level = low with a fighting cHanceville of zero.
xmas time triggers some almighties and my past holiday descriptive words were..
TERRIBLE. HORRIBLE. SHAMEFUL. REGRETFUL. REGRESSION. DEPRESSION.
So here's to HAPPY. STRESSFREE. INEBRIATED. C U NEXT YEAR INLAWS. RELAXING and words of hope.
To you all a prosperous new year IS posiible if we keep fighting hard and supporting those who fall

[gtfpv]

Originally Posted by Trejo

Sorry been of no support of late. Busy trying to sort out what is to become of my future when this contesting of will and selfish rivalry over the sale of the house finally sorts itself out.. I have been keeping and kept out of it as it's stress I do not need nor could cope with and will accept whatever that wasn't mine .. if any... nice to be compensated for the years of caring I gave my mother and stepfather but I never expected to be.at the least I will receive the reimbursement payment of the rates i've been paying and up keep of property during this mess.

Anyway I did, although i only NOTED, I did read all the posts since my last. And to those who stopped by .. do come again.

Ok my noteworthy Anxiety issue of late.

My son is nearing 21yo and about a month ago informed me via text message that he has legally changed his last name to his stepfather's. Which I suggested it be ok to do when his first half brother was enrolled in his school about 12 years ago (it hurt me to say so of course.. but for my son to feel connected to and secure was the importance of it)..and he decided with having it hyphenated was hip..as I was still 'somebody" in his eyes then. Anyway the closing clause of said text message was that, and I quote, "I more than likely won't be coming up that way to visit anymore as im focusing on my family here now." I replied with a positive ' it's your life son.. do what makes YOU happy.'

Then after a few up n down irrational emotional well-contained reactions and a long hard perspective thought arrangement. I'd realised from here on I am totally free of any obligation to provide in any manner whatsoever.. bar for my dog and myself. Therefore 25th Dec 2016 Anxiety level = low with a fighting cHanceville of zero.
xmas time triggers some almighties and my past holiday descriptive words were..
TERRIBLE. HORRIBLE. SHAMEFUL. REGRETFUL. REGRESSION. DEPRESSION.
So here's to HAPPY. STRESSFREE. INEBRIATED. C U NEXT YEAR INLAWS. RELAXING and words of hope.
To you all a prosperous new year IS posiible if we keep fighting hard and supporting those who fall

what your saying is right . but i kind of think thats a bit like an unswaying love . . On the other hand mate . did you bring a child into this world to wipe his bottom on you ? . also learn that BAD BEHAVIOUR IS BAD BEHAVIOUR . And there is no right in that my friend .

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by gtfpv

what your saying is right . but i kind of think thats a bit like an unswaying love . . On the other hand mate . did you bring a child into this world to wipe his bottom on you ? . also learn that BAD BEHAVIOUR IS BAD BEHAVIOUR . And there is no right in that my friend .

Oh i hear you my friend.. and he is 20yo remember.. after the first 10 or so years of distilling moral and civil standards into him to no avail. I started on his mother and her new husbands insecurities and that just made change their phone numbers and instead of meeting halfway when exchanging my son's visits.. they forced my son to catch a train up to visit me (when he clearly was not secure in himself enough to handle that alone at that stage in life) but i now know it was tactical as he couldn't carry his Xbox that i bought 2 of so he could take one home with him which was OUR connection from when he was 6yo up to then... and his incentive off them for catching a bus and 2 trains to come up to vistit me for 32 hours every 2nd or 3rd weekend was an Xbox and a new game every time he returned home.. needless to say the 3 weekly visits withered down to... well... none.
Get his step father alone smash the living morals into him and blame my ex wife for all this.. ignorantly too easy. But having the wisdom to change the things i can and accepting the things i can't.. better for the soul

[gtfpv]

Originally Posted by Trejo

Oh i hear you my friend.. and he is 20yo remember.. after the first 10 or so years of distilling moral and civil standards into him to no avail. I started on his mother and her new husbands insecurities and that just made change their phone numbers and instead of meeting halfway when exchanging my son's visits.. they forced my son to catch a train up to visit me (when he clearly was not secure in himself enough to handle that alone at that stage in life) but i now know it was tactical as he couldn't carry his Xbox that i bought 2 of so he could take one home with him which was OUR connection from when he was 6yo up to then... and his incentive off them for catching a bus and 2 trains to come up to vistit me for 32 hours every 2nd or 3rd weekend was an Xbox and a new game every time he returned home.. needless to say the 3 weekly visits withered down to... well... none.
Get his step father alone smash the living morals into him and blame my ex wife for all this.. ignorantly too easy. But having the wisdom to change the things i can and accepting the things i can't.. better for the soul

I'm in the same boat my friend , except my children were 13 and 15 and i was removed from home never to see them again , all for putting my hands out to stop myself from falling backwards after the wife pushed me off balance . Nevermind . you can only choose to live happily , and if that hadnt of happened , i may be dead from head hitting concrete , and /or missed out on an amazing past 2 1/2 years . As bad as it has been , it has been good as well, and i couldn't of changed it if i tried , in fact i did try for 9 mths before realizing it was just feeding the system of cash thy palms . So your advice is good advice , however i still say , bad behaviour is just that , no excuses .

[Tui2]

I'm having a new issue and wondering if anyone else suffers this ridiculous anxiety... i can't enjoy a movie based on true facts., if it's concerns putting minorites down.. but my latest anxiety is comedies... i have gone from embarrassment to feeling anger and yelling at the tv at characters who won't stand up for themselves.. most recently the sfepfather vs father movie starring Will and Mark. 20mins is all i lasted before storming off to shove it back into the video hire machine. Waste of money., and everything ... every piece of therapy i thought i had a grip on.. ahhhhh i hate this disorder!!!!!!

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by Trejo

I'm having a new issue and wondering if anyone else suffers this ridiculous anxiety... i can't enjoy a movie based on true facts., if it's concerns putting minorites down.. but my latest anxiety is comedies... i have gone from embarrassment to feeling anger and yelling at the tv at characters who won't stand up for themselves.. most recently the sfepfather vs father movie starring Will and Mark. 20mins is all i lasted before storming off to shove it back into the video hire machine. Waste of money., and everything ... every piece of therapy i thought i had a grip on.. ahhhhh i hate this disorder!!!!!!

Sounds like you took it personally with your prejudice to it and your situation. Red flag and/or trigger for yourself.

I'm actually doing well at the moment, spent the last four weeks away from work, the majority of technology and anything associated with work. Granted I had 400 emails when I got back today but that was last year so it all got binned.

I'm a bit sore as I decided to help a friend move house, so got a 4 bedroom house packed, moved and unpacked in a week. I would have moved a ton of weight in that time and I think a bit of manual work has helped me clear out my thought processes.

[LTDHO]

From early December I was frequently heard saying, "I can wait for THE WEEK to be over"
I was referring to December 24th to January 2nd.

Anyone thought or said the same?

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by LTDHO

From early December I was frequently heard saying, "I can wait for THE WEEK to be over"
I was referring to December 24th to January 2nd.

Anyone thought or said the same?

In some ways I can understand. It is a busy week and we don't get much time to relax and recharge and that is without the added pressure of depression/anxiety.
Don't be to hard on yourself just try and keep working at it and make sure you make time for yourself in times like this.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

Sounds like you took it personally with your prejudice to it and your situation. Red flag and/or trigger for yourself.

I'm actually doing well at the moment, spent the last four weeks away from work, the majority of technology and anything associated with work. Granted I had 400 emails when I got back today but that was last year so it all got binned.

I'm a bit sore as I decided to help a friend move house, so got a 4 bedroom house packed, moved and unpacked in a week. I would have moved a ton of weight in that time and I think a bit of manual work has helped me clear out my thought processes.

Reflecting since my last post i agree that excercise could be or IS the only answer to some relief if not curing alot of anxiety issues..???
Been walking the dog instead of turning tv on and back to playing music and dancing like a dork. Be it 10mins and I'm lying on the floor gasping... goal is to last 20mins by end of feb

It is good to hear (read) a pep in your posts and wush you continuous improvement

[xr8cam]

A neighbour aged 63 took his life late last year. He was given meds by his doctor but sadly thought he new better and took them when he felt bad. I explained to him how they work and the dangers associated with stop starting prescriptions but in the end, the black dog won out. Anybody who reads this please do not adjust your meds without talking to a professional first. Also, when you start a course of anti depressants they will often make you feel worse for a week or two before they kick in which can take six weeks on average. Everybody is different & these drugs affect us all in different ways. Be aware of these things and be aware that your GP probably doesn't know much at all about these meds. It is an area for Psychologist and your GP should be insisting on you seeing one. Meds don't solve issues, you need to get stable, see a professional, work thru issues and then slowly come off the meds. I finally did it the proper way and have been drug free for years with very few highs or lows because my therapist showed me what to do when I feel moods coming etc. Takes time & work but no serious illness is easy to get over.

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by xr8cam

I finally did it the proper way and have been drug free for years with very few highs or lows because my therapist showed me what to do when I feel moods coming etc. Takes time & work but no serious illness is easy to get over.

I've implemented a bit of a system for me if I feel a mood coming on or a trigger is about to happen.

Firstly I ask myself two questions.

1. Is it going to help me straight away?
2. Will it benefit me or anyone I'm with?

If I answer no to both then I get over it. And it is literally well this is not going to do anything to help or benefit, forget it.

9 times out of 10 all moods and triggers are resolved for me and I get on with it. I did have a situation yesterday where I feel like I was being called out in an email and usually I will take a passive option but I thought no, I'm getting tired of being walked on so I fired back and defended myself and thought I'm not going to be walked over by junior staff members.

[xr8cam]

Emails & txt messages are tough ones. Is the person having a go at me or am I over reacting? All the more reason to tell people how you honestly feel every chance you get to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Ideally, aim to feel confident & calm minded so when idiots do strike you laugh it off because you know it's all their bs, not your own.

[gtfpv]

i havent been on meds for years . i have tried them , but it was reactive depression , which is an acute form , there was a time when i really needed them , that was after court settlement when i got royally screwed . in bed for a week sleeping 22 hrs per day , then i knew i needed them . recognition is the key which only proffessionals working with you can tell .
So how do i control reactive depression , after years of surviving it starts to become easy , we all have hard times , a mood is temporary , if you can stop yourself from going agro , that means you can sit it out , and after a while , you realize that situations are only temporary and then will pass , this is the same as with good times .
People will start to see you as a very strong person who doesnt get wound up about much , Balance and acceptance is the key . . unless you cant control your actions , you dont need meds . but if you cant , you certainly do need meds , they work .

[xr8cam]

Just remember the meds take 6 weeks to start working and there is often a ''dip'' in mood inside the first two weeks. Also, once you start levelling out, make time to see a therapist of some sort. These meds don't make problems go away, in fact by staying on them too long, they can bring their own issues. I can't stress enough how crucial getting help is whilst taking a course of anti depressants and take as prescribed & never stop cold, you need to taper off any medication. Tell people how you feel as much as you can. It makes a wonderful difference to all relationships whether personal or professional and it keeps you cool, calm & collected.

[Tui2]

Stop stopping and starting your meds Trejo. Yes i know that Trejo. But you keep doing it! Yeah well i got 3 alarms going off now and 1 is really loud in the garage so i have to get my ... up to go turn it off and beside it is backup meds. Good now i dont want to hear anymore nonsense. Ok got it, gee good on ya DAD

[Tui2]

Well the psychiatrist cut me down to 20mins which i only seem to just begin venting and its .'here's your prescription, goodbye see you in 2months' now. And the lady psychologist i go see when in need of another perspective.. says there is nothing she can do for me anymore and wrote me a reference letter for my GP stating the aggressive manner i vent in, scares her. I talk loud cause i spent the last 12 years caring for elderly deaf parents in a house with up to 3 TVs blaring simultaneously, and i look angry cause i have a bald head and a beard.. book cover judgement.
Tried to volunteer at my local church gift/ book store and/or a courtesy-bus attendant, but apparently my look scares the christians as well. Or its simply obvious that the look in my eyes is the true reason.. even i can't stare into the mirror at them... not after i saw a shadowy figure flash over them when i was in my 20s have i done that again.
But i think alot of people freak if they stare into their own eyes.. yes?
Ok that's my rant.. keep well all. and to Beast, you should pop in for a cuppa and i would like you to take away with you your outsider analysis of my disorder to thought provoke and return the results to me if that's not an unsual request. I'm not out of line requesting that am i .. its just I'm so alone and my dog only answers me with kisses n cuddles(therapeutic but constructive) so i don't really know. Area health can't/won't help constuctively.. ah I'm only repeating these issues ovet and again sorry readers. Keep well

[cram_it_frog]

well after years of major back pain and depression I m at a place when things are in balance I am working round the pain and depression to make the most of what i have and working with in my limitations .

then the **** hits the fan because i am in a broken Hill and take physeptone (methodone) my GP have to higher authority a pain specialist in Sydney and each year I get a review , ok he has just retired and a new young doctor a female just finished uni and all her medical studies around 30s . she wants to change things and make her mark in the medical world so whay she wants is

regular exercise organized by physio from here

I have to attend on line video conference on how pain works

I have to look at by 12 months to be drug free

ok step one starts yesterday

physio examined me I have got a pain level around 7 to 9 out of ten normal in goes from 5 to 9 out of ten so she said

In your present condition i would not try to get you to do any thing you spinal injury is far to unstable to work with she said she would do more damage so step one cancelled lol

she is also concerned about me sitting down to watch a lesson on pain for over an hour lol

so chances are the entire new system they want will be cancelled my GP said I will more than be on narcotics for life and the people with new injuries will be treated differently .

all this has caused stress and more pain and a total wast of my time doctors need to speak to a patient not tell them what to do

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by cram_it_frog

well after years of major back pain and depression I m at a place when things are in balance I am working round the pain and depression to make the most of what i have and working with in my limitations .

then the **** hits the fan because i am in a broken Hill and take physeptone (methodone) my GP have to higher authority a pain specialist in Sydney and each year I get a review , ok he has just retired and a new young doctor a female just finished uni and all her medical studies around 30s . she wants to change things and make her mark in the medical world so whay she wants is

regular exercise organized by physio from here

I have to attend on line video conference on how pain works

I have to look at by 12 months to be drug free

ok step one starts yesterday

physio examined me I have got a pain level around 7 to 9 out of ten normal in goes from 5 to 9 out of ten so she said

In your present condition i would not try to get you to do any thing you spinal injury is far to unstable to work with she said she would do more damage so step one cancelled lol

she is also concerned about me sitting down to watch a lesson on pain for over an hour lol

so chances are the entire new system they want will be cancelled my GP said I will more than be on narcotics for life and the people with new injuries will be treated differently .

all this has caused stress and more pain and a total wast of my time doctors need to speak to a patient not tell them what to do

This is exactly why I don't trust medical "professionals". Sure I've probably got enough wrong with me that it balances out (ala Mr. Burns) but for so called professionals to guess whats wrong with you and put your life at risk? Sorry I'll pass. My ex was and still is a good example of doctors not knowing what they study with real life experience.

My update is I'm good. I don't feel half as bad as I used to.

[Tui2]

Exactly, Cram and Rapid, you may have or not read about my recent loss of a long time friend, through cancer. Well the 6years leading up to his death with lived with out his left shoulder and limb. He described this and the phantom pain that haunted his days and most of his nights, as if his left arm was still there but invisible with the hand in a permanent position 1 foot infront and slightly to the left of his face, that throbbed and screamed at him. He too was on the only pain killer of his choice that prevented him ending his life before the imminent. And the new doctor did the same with him as to you Cram. Un.. effin.. real eh? I told him what i would do if it were me.. and he did it and was able to live out his days as an individual patient.

[Tui2]

Shout out to the Vinnies, SYZs, Madayas, BlueyBAs and Bent8s.. As well as the Crams and the Cams, the GTfpvs and Beastly GTTs, LTDs and the Sneakys of like.. in my thoughts i wish well.

BlackDog Pilot- I will strive.. First class passenger- I Do Abide .. Used to coach- I Survive.. overhead luggage- where I Hide. Blue Blooded by Ford- I'll Best continue to drive.

[sneaky]

Still lurking around here from time to time.

Been having a crap few weeks recently on top of a slowly declining few months.

Been out of the family home for 3 months and just found out my ex has moved on and found someone new. Real big kick to the nuts because silly me was still hoping she would come back to me. Finding out the news put me in a downward spiral and left me really messy in front of my kids. They were worried with how upset i was. There was no violence or yelling, just a broken crying mess of a father that they didn't need to see.

Quick trip to hospital to chat to someone wasn't much help, i think they deal more with people that are hurting themselves or making attempts on their own life.

I made a call Saturday to the local community mental health service and spoke to a nurse for an hour or so so she could assess my state of mind. Car keys removed and placed under closer watch by my parents. Follow up phone call Sunday and appointment was made to see someone face to face through the week. Spoke to a nurse on Tuesday and a psychiatrist today. All of the people have been very helpful and i came out of today's session with a slightly brighter look on things.

I have been off work for 1.5 weeks and had some calls from workmates that know my story to check on me. Will have another few weeks off to change meds and sort things out.


If you need to talk to someone please make a call to some form of mental health service, friend, colleague, family member, whatever.

My ex has the kids sorted for a few weeks to give me time to recover and sort myself out. She is happy for me to have them with someone else here just in case i need backup.

[cram_it_frog]

sneaky do not worry about the past you cannot change that

I am in the same boat my wife left me and i thought that was the end of the world i had worked hard and after 15 year thought I had time to relax


any way i meet a lady on the internet she and i clicked very quickly and I found my true love and mate my life has changed i moved from Perth to Broken hill and this is my happest 15 year and still so much in love

mate to find real love is some ting many can only dream of

so think of this as a new begining and i am sure things will get better