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Old 25-01-2006, 11:32 PM   #61
Captain Stubing
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Filthy GT-P
My biggest problem at the moment is that I am having issues with certain aspects of my friends suicide. He used a car to kill himself and I love cars (go figure that one). I know the car was only the instrument, but I am having troubles reconciling this aspect in particular. I guess it is just something I am going to have to work through.

Steven

Steve,
The instrument your friend used is no reflection on what you love in life. I'm in a similar situation to Redrum, but I've had to examine hundreds of instances like this.
It might be your friend wanted to 'go' with his car, because he loved his car.. it may have just been the easiest way he could see at that time...

Don't take it on board, personally. Keep his memories alive, always remember him, but... it's not your fault.
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Old 26-01-2006, 12:00 AM   #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swanny
Steve,
The instrument your friend used is no reflection on what you love in life. I'm in a similar situation to Redrum, but I've had to examine hundreds of instances like this.
It might be your friend wanted to 'go' with his car, because he loved his car.. it may have just been the easiest way he could see at that time...

Don't take it on board, personally. Keep his memories alive, always remember him, but... it's not your fault.
He didn't take the car with him, he used the exhaust fumes.

I certainly don't blame myself, but it is just I suppose ironic. I will remember him.

Steven
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Old 26-01-2006, 12:07 AM   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Filthy GT-P
He didn't take the car with him, he used the exhaust fumes.

I certainly don't blame myself, but it is just I suppose ironic. I will remember him.

Steven
Sorry, I knew what you meant. I just didn't phrase it right.
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Old 26-01-2006, 12:17 AM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gtfpv
just an assumption here do you think everyone could put themselves into a catagorised depression
I think the term 'depression' tends to get thrown around a lot nowadays. Many people get depressed, nowhere near as many suffer from clinical depression (ie. some sort of biological component). In much the same way as many parents claim to have an ADD child, but only a proportion actually do.

To say *everyone* could suffer from depression IMO belittles what those suffering clinical depression go through.
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Old 26-01-2006, 12:33 AM   #65
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I had 2 friends take their life from Depression and i never understood it until it entered my world and here it remains, since it found me i have lost my family (Divorce) Lost the house i Built, Lost all my friends, lost my Busisness, every thing i worked for for 35 years. Left to start again with $50.oo, had over 20 jobs, lived in a tent for 18 months got into serious Debt (Tax), Hate the Goverment and all their rules & regulations, I must have about 100 unopened letters from the Govt telling me how much Extra Money they want me to Pay in child Support to the Millionare X wife. been to the edge lots of times. But i allways keep a photo of the children in my pocket. Then i just grit my teeth and power on. The pain in your chest is unbareable and it is like it is crushing you all the time. it is not that you can't see the way forward it is this Pain like a D9 is sitting on top of you all the time. you will be at your Lowest point then the Govt will phone up and tell you they are taking an extra $50 a month out of your pay because you have been reasscesed for the extra child support. but your income hasn't gone up, and you can't even find the $4.00 for the milk. then the D9 becomes twice as heavy. and now the price of Fuel makes it harder to see your kids. every one says get help, It is so hard to Talk when your throat feels like you have a watermellon stuck in it. so sitting some where very Quitely is nice. hardest thing is checking the letter box, never a nice letter just bills i would love to get a nice letter, but fact is you get the bills whether you work or not. You work and you open your self up to be vounurable to greater stress than you are able to cope with. There should be a better word for it than Depression. because as hard as you try to over come it by being as simple in your life as you can there is allways something waiting for you tomorrow, to set you back on your *** like last week i fainted at work and went to the gp and he says your heart has a valve problem, so they send you to the specialist and he does all these tests and says with in 5 years you have to have open heart surgery, and if that is not enough you go to pay the bill and for the 15 minutes it costs you $500. nealy collapsed at the counter, and i havent even paid the rent yet or Brought the milk and they insist you pay before you leave. and then the account is empty. at the moment the D9 is like having the USS Rhonald Raegon on me.
But the photo is here, so on to tomorrow. I have a little saying that i keep handy also
"Never let Yesterday use up today, Forget what is Behind, Strain toward what is ahead and Press on" I typed this 1/2 an hour ago and was going to deleat it and i was wondering how many also typed something and then deleated it?? big breath and click post, I like FF and it is good to be able to Help some one with a problem with out the comfruntation customers give me, just wasting words to try to click Post. it is a realy hard button to click believe me it is hard, Hey if you can post yours as well then i can post this. Tomorrow is good
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Old 26-01-2006, 01:28 AM   #66
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64Compact. I feel for you mate. Your story is all to common and no one (in power) seems to give a damn. The system is against men in your situation. I know this as my mother married and divorced twice and I saw how nasty it can get. Also as I know many a friend/work colleague who is going through what you are. As the gold digger song says, 18 years!! But my advice is to hold your head high and stay as happy as possible for your kids, be there for them, and when they have grown up, they will respect you, just like me with my dad and step father.
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Old 26-01-2006, 11:44 AM   #67
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I know what it's like, what it does to a family and even to friends. I had a mate who killed himself back in 1992 because of deppression, he was injured in an accident and couldn't walk after that, he couldn't handle that. It devestated his whole family and for a couple of years after his death his sister hated him for what he did.

Now I'm in my late 30's and I'm suffering from depression too. Pressures from work and things going on in my life not working out are the causes, that feeling of severe lack of energy and motivation is making it hard for me to go to work especially when you have a family you are responsible to. Now I'm taking a new medication that's out called Lexapro which is non addictive, it's making my life a lot easier.

I see some members who are suffering from it are young or started having it when young, it's sad to see this they certainly don't need to be dealing with this sort of thing when they should be enjoying their life.

No need to feel ashamed or embarassed about it get help however you can, this disease can easily destroy you.
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Old 26-01-2006, 12:07 PM   #68
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Depression is not a disease its an affliction, its not something that can be fixed with a pill.

It is something that can be managed, not something that has a cure. Those who have never been there simply don't have a clue.

And all it takes is to be let down by mates, lose a romance or have job or health problems, or more often a combination and its emerged its ugly head again. At times there doesn't even need to be a trigger.

And a curse on anyone who sees a suicide as a selfish act, they are so ignorant of what is going on in the mind of another persons that it defies belief

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Old 26-01-2006, 12:07 PM   #69
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Ive just started taking Lexapro... I feel like i'm drunk right now hehe (i'm told this is normal for the first 4-5 days)
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Old 26-01-2006, 05:10 PM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eb_5litre
Ive just started taking Lexapro... I feel like i'm drunk right now hehe (i'm told this is normal for the first 4-5 days)
You're lucky it affects each person differently, I had stomach pains for almost a week and had no appetite but it settled after a week went by.
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Old 26-01-2006, 06:16 PM   #71
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i was on zoloft when i was first diagnosed...being on my 2nd bout of depression im on Effexor XR 150mg.
I believe medication is an aid. An aid that will help you become more confidant, re-learn your social skills, help give you courage to carry out day to day activities. But remember whilst the pills aid in you being able to function 'normally', ultimately it is your own will who gets you up and out to face the world.
64 compact i feel for you. Whilst it is cliche, things can only get better though. I hope your world can come together for you and treat you better soon. Stay strong for your kids, they need you. If ya lived in WA you would be welcome at my house anytime for a beer a feed and a yarn. Just as long as you dont mind seeing an SS in the driveway!
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Old 26-01-2006, 08:59 PM   #72
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About three weeks a go a friend from a previous job committed suicide. Don't know why just yet.

A few guys I know from that job have committed suicide over the years.

Really sad.
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Old 26-01-2006, 09:16 PM   #73
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saddening stories here but please dont commit suicide anybody i would feel terrible if i heard of anyone here. compact 64 some people care . and some are going through the same as you all is not hopeless your children think of you everyday and love you . the world would be a worse place for them if you werent there.you know that anyway . cant the public system do something for your heart? go for it mate get legal aid assistance as well try everything mate you might find some answers . some people will come into your life and make it worth living in small ways in your time and you will make others feel happy in ways you may never know too. cheers.
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Old 26-01-2006, 09:25 PM   #74
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Love bills 64 Compact, keep em coming!

Bugger em, send em back!
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Old 26-01-2006, 10:18 PM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gtfpv
saddening stories here but please dont commit suicide anybody
I am sorry to say but before I started this thread I did do some searching of the Forums and found that we have lost at least one member to suicide.

Valknutr father advised us on 18th September 2005 of his suicide Link here.

It is great to have the opportunity for a non judgemental forum that seems to offer great support and solace to anyone having a hard time. The number of offers of assistance through PM's is also outstanding.

To 64compact you are a gutsy person, your attitude highlights your daily triumphs. Thank you for having the courage to post such a personal recount.

To all forum members you are not alone, you have friends, some of whom you may not have even met yet, except on the other end of a keyboard.

Kind regards


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Old 27-01-2006, 12:47 AM   #76
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No one should be ashamed of posting what they are going through, most have commented on how it has helped them typing it out then receiving support from other members

64Compact, mate sounds like you have been through hell and back, maybe not over yet but your grit & determination shows your strength of character
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Old 28-01-2006, 12:18 AM   #77
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well there goes another Job, time to go for a walk and watch the sun rise on another day, thanks for reading what i wrote, soon i will get on top of every thing, I realy think that if you try to ease the pain by departing, you release it to comsume someone else. here is a little pome i wrote, I do this when i need to , it gives me some solace.

As the love of my life flows through my veins
Like a flower on the river of my existence
You massage my heart and caress my sole
As you negotiate the passages within my mind and body
To find the joy that you bring to me in your journey
That takes you on a discovery tour of life and love its self

You provide me with your special touch as you nestle in my heart
And send me to your heaven when you cuddle my sole
You fill me with your joy and your beauty
Through your eyes I see your love and your kindness
As you encourage me to find the direction with which
We need to travel the world of vulgar and despair

Never again will I be alone unloved and uncared for
As for I know there is your love that will see me hurdle life’s lows
And enable me to climb the highest peaks with ease and support
The love you release with in me will be the glory we gift to our world
For I will return my love to you clear of all that past before
I love being in my challanging World.
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Old 28-01-2006, 01:24 PM   #78
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Matey that poem is the most amazing thing I have read in a long long time. Its almost as though you know what I have been going through recently. How can one be so in love yet still have the depression hang like a dark cloud on my being.

I realise that the meaning for you may be different but to me it reads perfectly.

Would it be OK if I printed a copy of this so I can show it to my life source, my partner who is trying so hard to help me through my dark times????
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Old 28-01-2006, 02:13 PM   #79
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I'm not very good at putting my thoughts into words.
I dont get any real triggers but depression just starts for no apparent reason. I may just wake up and thats the feeling I have for the day. Thats it.
For 64compact, today you may feel like sh*t but tomorrow is another day.
I would seriously consider 'returning to sender' some of those bills. Some you will be able to return easily than others. Stuff'em. As much as you love your kids, you have to look after number 1 right now. Try where you can to change things, to make opportunity for yourself.
As I said, I'm no good with words, but be assured your friends here are listening.
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Old 28-01-2006, 02:52 PM   #80
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Just reading the thread and I will admit i haven't been in the best of moods in the last few weeks and sadly it looks like i'll be in this state for a while.

I hope everyone here will pull through depression. What this thread shows is the fact that talking about it is the first step to the road recovery, realising that one has depression. The next thing is talking it through, bottling it up and keep it to ones self is not the way.

To all, hope everything goes well for all of you.
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Old 28-01-2006, 03:29 PM   #81
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it is ok to reprint the poem as it has a lot of what i think every one feels like when you feel like crap, i write a lot of poems as it is my way of seeing tunnles of light to my future
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