Funny stories involving the Police

[Mad Maxine]

Well I wrote out a great one, and the bloody forums are running so slow, it timed out, and never posted. It's really getting on my wick.

In summary, I got followed in the '62 Compact (my daily driver) by two plain clothes young officers in a hoony commodore one Friday night, and eventually they pulled me over. Turns out, they were having an argument about what kind of car it was, and had to pull me over to ask!

Second story, about my cool Mum. Many years ago, hot Melbourne Cup day in Brissie, two officers set up a radar outside our house behind a tree. It's a pretty law abiding town, and they were having no luck at all. Just before the Cup, Mum went out and spoke to them, and next thing you know, we are all having sandwiches and cake watching the Cup with these two police officers, who thought it was great. I was only little, but I remember being in awe of Policemen, and thinking 'wow, they are really nice'.

Haven't had a bum steer from a police officer yet, hope I never do.

[Jim5_0]

Many years ago (1984) I got pulled over for having a noisy car at 1AM (fair enough).

The cop was courteous enough and I did explain that the car got through rego like that and that I was trying my best to drive quietly which he did agree that I was doing. Unfortunately one of my front tyres was a bit low on tread on the outside edge not bad but not legal either. Fair cop I thought and accepted my fine graciously.

A couple of days later a motorcycle cop pulls me over as I left a set of lights.

The cop picks on the same tyre and I explained that I had already copped a fine not two days ago for the same tyre and in those days a tyre was about $80 and a weeks wages for me was about $120. He was most un sympathetic and was adamant that I was going to cop another fine so he went back to his bike lifted the lid on his panniers then after a few minutes he came back to me saying that "you are the luckiest bloke on earth and you won't be copping a fine today as I have forgotten my pen but If I see this car with that tyre tomorrow you will get a fine and a defect" Needless to say I borrowed a wheel and tyre off a mate for a week or so until I got a new tyre.

[Auslandau]

Originally Posted by Jim5_0

Many years ago (1984) I got pulled over for having a noisy car at 1AM (fair enough).

The cop was courteous enough and I did explain that the car got through rego like that and that I was trying my best to drive quietly which he did agree that I was doing. Unfortunately one of my front tyres was a bit low on tread on the outside edge not bad but not legal either. Fair cop I thought and accepted my fine graciously.

A couple of days later a motorcycle cop pulls me over as I left a set of lights.

The cop picks on the same tyre and I explained that I had already copped a fine not two days ago for the same tyre and in those days a tyre was about $80 and a weeks wages for me was about $120. He was most un sympathetic and was adamant that I was going to cop another fine so he went back to his bike lifted the lid on his panniers then after a few minutes he came back to me saying that "you are the luckiest bloke on earth and you won't be copping a fine today as I have forgotten my pen but If I see this car with that tyre tomorrow you will get a fine and a defect" Needless to say I borrowed a wheel and tyre off a mate for a week or so until I got a new tyre.

Now really that was not very thoughtful of you ....... why didn't you just lend him a pen?

[Jim5_0]

Originally Posted by Auslandau

Now really that was not very thoughtful of you ....... why didn't you just lend him a pen?

If he'd have asked me and I had one on me I'd have chucked it into the bush beside the road 8-)

[fmc351]

Originally Posted by Auslandau

Now really that was not very thoughtful of you ....... why didn't you just lend him a pen?

People are so inconsiderate.

Originally Posted by Jim5_0

If he'd have asked me and I had one on me I'd have chucked it into the bush beside the road 8-)

And then he couldnt book you for littering either. Win win.

[JC]

Originally Posted by 388cube_edxr8

I was talking to a mate and he was telling me he recently got pulled over and fined. Apparently he was driving with his mate who works for Occupational Health & Safety or something. Anyhoo, it was like 3am in the middle of nowhere and the copper pulled him up and ticketed him $150 for a "defective center brake light". Mate from OHS in the passenger seat then fined the Policeman $400 for not wearing his high visibility vest in a low light area.

I just love it when people turn urban myths into "was talking to a mate who told me...." stories.

How about we just have factual ones?

Have been pulled over many times in 20+ years of driving, and have only copped 3 speeding fines and one going through an amber light fine - many let offs due to cops being sensible people too. Even a mate of mine got let off (after a full car inspection, mind you), when he was pulled over shortly after leaving a servo late at night. He'd forgotten to put his lights on, so the police pulled him over and when he stopped, he got out of the car and asked why they pulled him over - they told him, so he leant in the car turned them on and said "They are now". Cops weren't that impressed, hence the once over, but let him go with a warning. Same mate many years later became a cop.

[Yellow_Festiva]

My old boss was being 'intoxicated in a public place' with a bunch of his mates.

Must have been a few complaints as he was crawling / stumbling home and the police turned up and did what they usually do.

They were all kneeled down on the grass with their hands behind their heads when the cops got a urgent call for a brawl in the next suburb.

The 2 cops stared at these 5 drunk blokes and told them to not move, stay where you are and we will come back once the brawl is sorted.

As soon as they rounded the corner lights blazing there was a moment of silence, then they looked at each other... then all got up and drunkly **** bolted home lol.

[jpd80]

Years ago, my sister in law was traveling home across the riverside expressway in Brisbane when a cop pulled her over in peak hour traffic.

COP: "Would you mind stepping out of the car."
SIL: "What's wrong, why did you stop me?"
COP: "Just get out of the car well..."

COP: "Come with me.....Your tail lights aren't on..."
SIL: "(lie) I think my tail lights have just gone out, this is a government car.. "
COP: "Wait here and I'll send a mechanic out to you.... don't drive away or I'll book you."

Time passes and a meek little government mechanic turns up,
MECH: "The copper instructed me to come take a look at your car .."
SIL: "I forgot to switch my head lights, the cop would have booked me if I'd said that..."
MECH: "That's OK I thought he was going to book me too.."

[platinumXR]

Originally Posted by Jim Goose

How hard is it not to turn this into a cop bashing thread guys?

Like that was not going to happen

moths to a flame

[Ben73]

Originally Posted by Jason[98.EL]

and where does that fit in with the no police bashing

I said something that I witnessed. I did no say anything negative about it.

[2002au]

Originally Posted by B-RAD

I remember in one of the cop shows on tv a few months ago, the cop accusing the guy of doing burnouts because of the conditions of the back tyres. The car was front wheel drive though!

that happened to my sister when she had her first car...which was a mazda 121 bubble haha

[fmc351]

Originally Posted by 2002au

that happened to my sister when she had her first car...which was a mazda 121 bubble haha

Im not saying it is what happened, but simply posing a possibility. It could be that a person could do burnouts, and then swap tyres front to rear, rear to front.

[Jastel]

Was called to one of taxis being involved in an accident

There were 3 cars involved and my driver was the last talked to, lots of people hanging around.
Came time for the compulsory Breath test and he blew .15!!!
This was obviously wrong (all witnesses, towies etc agreed as we had all been talking while waiting) and the man is not a drinker anyhow, and I asked the officer to redo the test. No dice.
The cops attitude immediately changed from nice to not so nice and he arrested my driver and put him into the back of his unmarked plain white BF Falcon sedan.

He sat there in the drivers seat fiddling around for a while, with all of us looking at him and the car wouldn't start.
(I knew why but didn't say anything)

He had actually got into MY plain white BF Falcon sedan which was parked just in front of his one!!

I walked up to the open window and sweetly asked if he would like the keys while jingling them in front of him.

He got out of MY car and put my driver into HIS car and then sped off, with all the onlookers laughing.

Ten minutes later I got a call from the officer, my driver was 0.00 and was free to go and could I collect him from the station. No charges were laid.

Would have been easier to do a retest.

[Jastel]

Another time way back when we were about 17 a bunch of us were riding motorbikes around an old quarry and we also had an old bomb car we were using.

The Police turned up in a 4wd and launched into the lecture of it was private property and trespassing was a serious offence etc etc and asked what we had to say for ourselves.

My mate stepped up and said "You're right, it is Private Property, MY DAD'S!!"

After some checks on who owned the property etc they had to leave and we continued riding.

[Matt47569]

Originally Posted by Jastel

Another time way back when we were about 17 a bunch of us were riding motorbikes around an old quarry and we also had an old bomb car we were using.

The Police turned up in a 4wd and launched into the lecture of it was private property and trespassing was a serious offence etc etc and asked what we had to say for ourselves.

My mate stepped up and said "You're right, it is Private Property, MY DAD'S!!"

After some checks on who owned the property etc they had to leave and we continued riding.

[Jason[98.EL]]

Originally Posted by Jastel

Another time way back when we were about 17 a bunch of us were riding motorbikes around an old quarry and we also had an old bomb car we were using.

The Police turned up in a 4wd and launched into the lecture of it was private property and trespassing was a serious offence etc etc and asked what we had to say for ourselves.

My mate stepped up and said "You're right, it is Private Property, MY DAD'S!!"

After some checks on who owned the property etc they had to leave and we continued riding.

had a similar thing happen but it was on a road that was taken by the local quarry ( that is now closed ) we were out there with our cars doing burnouts ect having fun racing and the likes when the local boys turned up and started reading the riot act

as it turned out we had the permission from the lease owner of the land to be there . Mr police man was a tad ****ed when he found out what made him more angry was the fact we had a constable with us

I have never forgot the car he drove a white crumydore with a warm 253 and we had fun in it over time he also tought me to drive defensibly and i hope i am a safe driver due to his teaching

thanks Jason

[kyro_02]

Originally Posted by geckoGT

Very true, I see cops wearing vests at crashes and RBT's but never on traffic stops.

It won't be long for them though. Technically we have to wear a vest at any time that we stop on a road that has medium to high traffic for any reason despite the fact that we also have flashing lights and offset park (referred to as fend off positioning).

Got pulled over couple months ago, both cops were wearing high vis clothing, although it was at night time.

he even ask me what my reason for speeding was? .... I do it every day...every single day!!

[pottery beige]

got pulled over stinking drunk being pushed along in a shopping trolley......

[388cube_edxr8]

I got pulled over for riding a very sick 49cc Yamaha Zuma scooter flat out at about 15km/h on the footpath at 10 at night. The policeman was bemused but rude. Something about pedestrian safety. I told him I was overtaken by a fat jogger on the last hill. He was going to write me a ticket but got called away.

[Coyote mk3]

Was driving out to Samford about 3 months ago, was going from an 80 zone into a 60.
I was probably doing about 90 and the 60 sign was about 100 meters ahead, just before a small hill.
I figured I would just wash off speed going up the hill around the small bend.
WRONG have come around the bend and seen the copper standing in the middle of the road at the top of the hill holding the radar gun. Jumped on the breaks and he has swung around and pointed the gun at me.
The only reason I didn't get done is because he was fiddling with the gun and pointing it at the ground.

I still thought I was done though and have kept slowing down up the hill and past him at about 30k's, assuming he was going to pull me in.
He didn't but we stared at each other as I have come up to him.

Look in the rear view mirror and he pulled over the person behind me, who I think I passed a little earlier.

ALSO: If you have ever driven to Samford coming from Narangba you will know that the 60 limit is stupid anyway, and even the 80 could easily be 100km/h
I wasn't being a tool on the road.

[Pedro]

Many years ago, a workmate and I had a long lunch at the "Bourbon & Beefsteak" at Kings Cross. After lunch, I took a taxi but the workmate decided to drive himself home. It was a rainy afternoon and he proceeded down Macleay Street towards Harry’s Café de Wheels. This section of road is down hill with lots of curves. Anyway matey new he’d had a few and was driving within the speed limit but obviously had somewhat dulled reflexes. So when the rear tyres began to slip a bit he applied the brakes which started a slow spin across the centreline and resulted in the rear of his car coming into a low impact collision with a Police paddy wagon coming up the hill.

Needless to say he was removed from his car and escorted to the rear of the paddy wagon and tossed in. I knew the station sergeant at the time and when I asked him about it a couple of days later he told me the cops in the paddy wagon reckoned it was the funniest incident they’d seen in a long time.

[NAFairlane]

my favourite one.

was not long after i got my license was sitting at the lights in my fairlane and being a p plater was trying to fire up the "low-lux" next to me. I succeeded, lights changed and we went for it, as we rounded the corner i was in front by atleast a car length i caught a glimpse of a cop car reversing into his hiding spot behind a hedge in front of the fire station so i hit the brakes hard and went from 140 to 70 as fast as i could, he didnt. Went past and was going phew when i saw the car and the lights in my mirror, "ah ****" pulled into the left lane, he went straight past and pulled over that bloke :P i'll never do that again. Drove back past a couple hours later to see his car being put on a tilt tray.
(i know i look like the dick, but its was funny for me)

[TK-421]

This policeman was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.

The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility...

Q: 'Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

[au2000]

mate of mine being an ex detective was telling me about a time him & his mate were in an unmarked xf waiting for the boomgates to open...at the same time a xf divy van pulls along side with 2 connies. the d's decide to have some fun & looking dead ahead flick on the siren for a short burst... the 2 connies look at each other scratching their heads with the 2 d's trying to keep a straight face... this happens a couple of more times until one of the connies jumps out, pops the bonnet looking for the fuses...

[starkersEB]

not a traffic incident but. A few years ago when I was about 18 we were setting off crackers in my mates backyard. About a half hour later while sitting down havin some frothies I hear someone behind me yell no body move, Ive turned and said bugger off smart ar$e, while looking down two barrels of a shottie! Promptly pooed my pants. then realised star force have surrounded the house and scaling fences etc.. They said neighbor had rang them saying we were shooting guns. We were honest, well had to be as the back yard was littered with blown up things, they proced to search and notice a non tobacco smoking device, officer says whats this for? mate replys bluntly for smoking weed! officer, oh ok then. Then another notices a mate and I drinking a pricey bottle of red he procedes to ask where we got it my mate pipes up and said well Im a winemaker my work makes it I can get you a good deal on some if you want. Affter a small lecture they leave us with not a single fine. Just some dirty jocks!! Pays to be honest I suppose

[Dave3911]

Originally Posted by HP4ME

perhaps some off duty members can share some stories....

Not a member, but I do work in dispatch which gives some pretty funny moments.

About two years ago I was finishing a night shift early at 0215. At around 0210, last job of the night I dispatch to the South Melbourne night shift for a sighting of a male, driving a Red BA XR6 with personalised plates (Rego u/k), seen possibly breaking into cars. This job is not too far from work, in Port Melbourne. I do hundreds of these jobs every day, so think nothing of it. Someone else takes my place, I head straight to the car and head home. At that time I was driving a Red SV6 Commodore (Prior to seeing the light), funnily enough with personalised plates (See where this is going?).

Go over wurundjeri way towards montague st on my normal route home through St Kilda. As I pass normanby I saw some red/blue flashers down in the distance, was really tired and thought nothing of it (Not making the connection with the job I'd only just dispatched). Get stopped at the traffic lights at city rd, and as I move off to head towards ferrars st I notice the red/blue's again behind me, this time turning into montague from normanby up some distance behind me. Again, think nothing of it and continue on my way turning into ferrars towards st kilda.

Now, this is my third night shift in a row... I'm dog tired as the other two shifts were 0700 finishes. I'm now driving down ferrars st (possibly its changed to canterbury by now) at an absolute doddle, maybe 50km/hr, considering stopping for a power nap. Again, the red/blues come into view in my rear mirror and start approaching - real fast. "Oh, someone must have a hot job" pops into my head and before I know it, the red/blues are right up my backside and I've got highbeams flashing at me.

"Oh for f*cks sake" I think to myself (Remember, I'm sleep deprived here guys, Havent worked out they are "after" me) "Use the right lane and go around you morons". So I merge accross to let them go on the left. They follow me. The penny drops. "WTF? Your after me? Huh". So I pull into a parking lane on the left and pull up, they pull up behind me in a fend off position.

Immediately my car is lit up like a christmas tree, Highbeams on, Roof mounted spot, 2 x mag lights in my mirrors. "WTF? They're doing a 'hot stop' on me?" I think. Next thing I know, my door flys open and I'm met with a stern looking female senior constable.

"Get out of the car, now". I comply, and as I get out of the car the penny has clicked with me now and I say to her "Why the hell are you doing a hot stop on me? The car your looking for is a falcon". I notice the "empty pouch" on the front of her equipment belt and the hand behind her back - Great, about to get a face full of spray, maybe not the time to be a smart ****.

Before she has a chance to respond I can hear one of my workmates franticly calling over the radio "VKC to south melbourne three eleven.......VKC to south melbourne three eleven....." I immediately tell her "Might wanna answer him, He'll be telling you you've pulled over the wrong car".

The other member with her, who I now notice is standing at my rear quarter panel, with his baton drawn, grabs his portable radio "South three eleven, go"... "South three eleven delete reference that car - He was sitting in my chair only 5 minutes ago - he gave you this job, recieved?".

Both me and the male member burst into laughter and he says to her "Told you you bloody moron - he said the offender was in a falcon!".

Funnily enough, she didn't find it as funny as we did. Did a license check and PBT on me - before making me show her my work ID and getting a lecture about "pulling over quickly" for the Police.

[flappist]

Originally Posted by IntechAU

This policeman was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.

The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility...

Q: 'Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

Oldy but a goody....

[BENT_8]

Good thread!

I've seen some pearlers over the years as i spent much of my teens in small rural towns you get to know the coppers pretty well.

During the early 90's the local footy club was putting on a band and we were hanging around the street waiting for the game to finish and the party to start.
Next thing we heard the distinctive sound of a few hogs coming into town, they proceeded to run a few laps of the street which brought the attention of the cop who was cruising round the footy oval.
The boys headed out of town the way they came with the copper close behind.
Half an hour later about 80 bikes come rumbling into town...no sign of the copper though.
Spent the night partying up with some very intimidating men, and lmao when i heard that the rest of the possee was waiting 10k out of town just down a side road and when the copper saw them he just kept going to the next town...never returned that night.

Another time, the local cop was on leave so we had a young fella who was known as a car nut, had an immaculate HR prem as his daily.
I had just bought a very nice and slightly modified VK Calais which had not only recieved plenty of attention from the young lads in town, but this particular officer too.
One day i was cruising round town when he pulled up behind me in his HR and gives me the nod to pull up.
We get out of our cars and he introduces himself and we get talking about our hobbies.
Anyhow, he asks if he can have a drive of my car which threw me at first but i swung the door open and said jump in.
Off we go, out of town and then he opens her up...WOT for what seemed like only a few seconds but when i looked over the speedo was nearly wound off.
Next thing he backs off just as we approach a crest, and luckily enough as the next thing that came into view was the red and blues ontop of the oncoming HP car which frequents the area.
Not much was said on the casual return to town, i was chuffed that i didnt end up with a Canary and i think he was pondering his brush with Centrelink.

[Psi-Pop]

Got pulled over crossing the border from Germany to Holland with 6 people in a 3 Seater Transit. I was in the back with 3 others in the bunk beds having a few drinks and watching a movie. Police opened rear doors and were suprised to see us in there, gave us a lecture on safety, asked what movie and made fun of us for watching Oceans 13.

All a bit funny and happy to pulled over on Dutch side of border for some greenery in possesion isnt a problem.

[TheInterceptor]

I remember a while ago when i had the AU, a 12" subwoofer and the whole fully sick sound system going on. Was driving home (bout a km away) with music on that was probobly loud enough to be heard outside (all windows were up but bass freq's go a long way).

A grey Lancer sedan slowly creeps past. Once it was completley ahead i saw the blue n red lights on the parcel shelf of the lancer. Music was off in about 3 milliseconds since ive heard heaps of stories about people getting booked for sound pollution or somthingarather around here

Anyway we both pull up at the lights and as it would be he was directly window to window to my left. So i look to the left and hes looking at me smiling and he nodded his head. I do the same back, then i took a right turn when the lights went green. Was laughing the rest of the way home.