Depression, Anxiety

[Citroënbender]

Originally Posted by TrVrPhiLpsiNdstrys

Punched out a digger operator.
...We both lost our jobs after an investigation that took 72hr's and i still cannot work out for the life of me how it escalated to the level that it did.

Not having a crack, this is right on time to be a manifestation of PTSD from the heavy vehicle fatality you experienced a little while ago. Unless the other bloke has a better story I reckon you would have a good chance at getting your job back.

[DFB FGXR6]

Well, my anxiety has ramped up in the last few days, not helped by tougher Covid restrictions in Victoria announced today.

[T3rminator]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

Well, my anxiety has ramped up in the last few days, not helped by tougher Covid restrictions in Victoria announced today.

What's your strategy to cope? I'm the same. I used to cope with my issues by going for long drives with my dog and going on long hikes. So it's been a real struggle with stage 3 the second time. And now with stage 4 it's fubared. We need a strategy. I haven't thought of one yet. Maybe work longer hours.

[gooseneck]

do yourself a favor and go pickup a bottle of Vitamin D capsules and try that out as a treatment for depression.

That and Lexapro both work for me. If I miss out on the Vitamin D I'm the laziest person in the world and feel like whale **** on the bottom of the ocean.

[b0son]

Originally Posted by Citroënbender

Unless the other bloke has a better story I reckon you would have a good chance at getting your job back.

He assaulted someone without physical provocation. FairWork arent going to make the employer take him back (IMHO). At best, he might be able to get some $$$ for unfair dismissal, but the employer would rightly be covering themselves on OHS grounds.

Now, if the person he hit had a pattern of getting in his face, you could play the bullying angle, which might get some traction with FairWork.

[T3rminator]

If you are looking for support from people with faces, a mate of mine started a group on FB. 341 members so far, but it'll likely grow with Stage 4 now in place. So you are not alone if you are struggling.

Victoria’s Lockdown 2.0 Support Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/272519514045828/

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by T3rminator

What's your strategy to cope? I'm the same. I used to cope with my issues by going for long drives with my dog and going on long hikes. So it's been a real struggle with stage 3 the second time. And now with stage 4 it's fubared. We need a strategy. I haven't thought of one yet. Maybe work longer hours.

How do I cope? I'm not sure really. I don't really have a strategy, all I know is when I am busy or concentrating on something, I forget whats troubling me.

[GasoLane]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

How do I cope? I'm not sure really. I don't really have a strategy, all I know is when I am busy or concentrating on something, I forget whats troubling me.

A friend of mine was much the same until I mentioned Lego.

After he stopped laughing I showed that they're not kids toys anymore (or kids prices)

If cars are your thing they have quite a few, with the newer models remote controlled from an app on your phone.

Some of the larger ones take a lot of concentration (and a good bit of your hard earned as well ) especially the ones where you have to build a working 6 or 8 speed sequential gearbox..........

[gooseneck]

The essentials for keeping sane are:
#1
Vitamin D

#2
Exercise every day (Go for a walk) Force yourself to and do it every day so you don't forget to do it.

#3
If you aren't working then Have at least two hobbies: working on cars, electronics.

#4
Lexapro if you can get it. I don't get the numbing effect from lexapro but I have with previous meds.

#5
Stay away from Gluten for a while and see if you feel better, if you do then you're allergic to it.

#6
If you're in dire straits, Religion. Don't give up on it straight away and don't think its lame.
At the very least it gets you talking to people who have more than likely been through the same as you or just as bad.

Worst case you get to read some paraphenalia.

#7
Violent movies/tv shows/music can also make you focus on dread and make you feel depressed. Watch kids shows instead.

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by GasoLane

A friend of mine was much the same until I mentioned Lego.

After he stopped laughing I showed that they're not kids toys anymore (or kids prices)

If cars are your thing they have quite a few, with the newer models remote controlled from an app on your phone.

Some of the larger ones take a lot of concentration (and a good bit of your hard earned as well ) especially the ones where you have to build a working 6 or 8 speed sequential gearbox..........

image

Yes, a great little activity to keep the mind ticking away, not just for kids.

[Citroënbender]

Your picture has just helped me. I needed to identify the origin of a small black plastic linkage that was under the edge of the Territory carpet - thought it possibly from the door latch cable.

I see now, it's a Lego part - like the headlamp support on the green Porsche.

[GasoLane]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

Yes, a great little activity to keep the mind ticking away, not just for kids.

image

For a good mind workout............ just keep it away from the kids

[blueoval]

I went camping with some friends on the weekend just for an overnighter on their 1500acre property. We picked a spot by one of the dams they had and because we were out of phone reception, we just sat around the camp fire, cooking food, drinking and conversing with each other and enjoying the outdoors. Took all the 4by's out and explored the land.

That in itself reset my mood for this week. I need more of those times.

IMG_20200802_103018 by S B, on Flickr

IMG_20200802_073655 by S B, on Flickr

for IG-12 by S B, on Flickr

for IG-10 by S B, on Flickr

for IG-6 by S B, on Flickr

for IG-4 by S B, on Flickr

for IG-2 by S B, on Flickr

for IG by S B, on Flickr

[FTE217]

great weekend blueoval !
Even juist one night its bloody worth it.
For all the knockers of the 4x4dual cabs even XV's this is what more should look into doing.
As DFB says, keeping busy is the best medicine for the mind full stop and some wonderful R&R such as off the beaten track, an open fire or for me coastal beachs with the 4x4 I can't recommend enough.

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by FTE217

great weekend blueoval !
Even juist one night its bloody worth it.
For all the knockers of the 4x4dual cabs even XV's this is what more should look into doing.
As DFB says, keeping busy is the best medicine for the mind full stop and some wonderful R&R such as off the beaten track, an open fire or for me coastal beachs with the 4x4 I can't recommend enough.

Thanks bloke. The little XV did amazing in the mud/grass, gravel sections and steep descents on this property. Anything my mates Rangers and Fortuner can do, the XV smashed also. I was impressed with how able the car was on what I would consider 4x4 terrain.

Just finding this little stretch of camp area was exciting and I felt great throughout the trip. For those able to get out, I recommend doing a night or 2 under the stars to help with your anxiety. It was definitely what the doctor ordered!

[DFB FGXR6]

Today's coping strategy.





Just me, the cars and a podcast or two on the headphones. Spent over 4 hours immersed in detailing today. It's something I very much look forward to each week and helps me keep going. Sometimes the podcasts in ears make me laugh, sometimes they inform. The point is, I'm occupied in doing and listening to something that I love, keeping the mind and body active is the key.

[sneaky]

I had balanced weekend.

Saturday was spent assisting my brother build his new shed (20m x 8m). Couldn't see much difference between the start and end of the day, most of the work was strengthening the frame that was put up the week before.

Sunday was then spent on the lounge watching netflix thinking about the stuff I should have been doing at my place.


I wonder at what point do I recognise that the meds are working and perhaps I'm just lazy

[buggerlugs]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

Today's coping strategy.

image

image

Just me, the cars and a podcast or two on the headphones. Spent over 4 hours immersed in detailing today. It's something I very much look forward to each week and helps me keep going. Sometimes the podcasts in ears make me laugh, sometimes they inform. The point is, I'm occupied in doing and listening to something that I love, keeping the mind and body active is the key.

And you also have a great looking car........

[mondeomatureguy]

Hi Guys,
First off great car DFB FGXR6.
A long time ago I was a driver for a major department store In Sydney and where taking in the 1990s.

I had been there about 7 years and working with the lady's day in and day out you get to know your work mates well.
There was a lady that worked there who was going thru a very bad divorce and we talked a few times about it over lunch.

At the time I was living in Penrith and she was living near Rooty Hill. At 1am on a Saturday morning she phoned me crying and was going to do her self in.
I managed to calm her down on the phone and by that time I was wide awake.

I told her to put the kettle on because I am coming over. I got there about 1.30am she had been drinking. I made her a Coffee and one for myself and just let her talk and I listened.

At 4.30am we were still talking, she had a laugh, a cry and she told me "it was so good to have somebody to listen to me.
I had breakfast with her at 6am made sure she was ok and she went to bed and when she woke up she gave me a call to say she was " all good and feeling better".

It doesn't matter what you suffer from be it Depression, Anxiety or what ever.
If you have a friend with a good ear to listen to you or have a chat with I helps so much.

[blueoval]

Struggle city today. Got bad news overnight that my dads twin brother passed away from similar circumstances as my dad.

It marks his passing only 4months and 1 week after dad passed away.

My uncle was a talented and well loved man. I looked up to him and his kindness.

First my dad in April, now my Uncle in August. I hope this nightmare of a year ends and ends fast.

[whitelion65]

Condolences Blueoval. Always hard to lose a loved one.
A great thought that someone told me, was the pain we feel when losing a loved one, is we still have so much love for them in our hearts, and now that love can't get out!

I'm having an absolute shyte time at work at the moment. Been monitoring my blood pressure, and it's gone through the roof. I feel like I'm walking around with a "Kick me" sign on my back.
Had a meeting with the next two layers of my management team, and I've got to say, I haven't been so disappointed in a long time.
My mantra is, if you've got a team, then look after them!!

Three hours to go, and I'm outa here!!

Look after yourselves AND EACH OTHER FOLKS.

Hopefu;lly be on line again soon.

[Mr_G6ET]

Originally Posted by gooseneck

do yourself a favor and go pickup a bottle of Vitamin D capsules and try that out as a treatment for depression.

That and Lexapro both work for me. If I miss out on the Vitamin D I'm the laziest person in the world and feel like whale **** on the bottom of the ocean.

I work indoors, later in life I am habitually lazy, on low level Lexapro meds, get angry relatively easy with a*seholes even if they are younger or bigger than me.
All my life I have jumped c*nts and had a rumble with varied outcomes. My kids are tired of that, last experience was only months ago with the neighbour.

You are not pedaling anything but simply sharing experience and knowledge IMO
I have Vitamin D on my shopping list cos I need to try what you have experienced.

This is in response to your covid post

[FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0]

Well, I think I'm on a spiral downwards. Not that I'm anywhere near suicidal level yet (and nor do I think I'll get to that point), but I can feel it getting me down.

I spiral down a bit, tell myself that there are people far worse off than me, or I have a little win and I come back up again, but not as far as I was before I spiralled. And then it all starts again.

Let me give you guys some background. Some of you may have read my post in the 'Marriage - bliss or hell?' thread, my wife and I separated March last year, after 16 years of marriage and 29 years together. We're pretty amicable still, but I still think about the separation regularly.

We sold our house, split the $$$ and our belongings. She moved into a unit and I moved into a rental house. The house was a quick decision and it gives me the ****s. I hate the place. The previous tenant left it a mess with stinky carpets and curtains, and everything is worn with nothing really working properly. But it had the right size garage for all of my gear (XR8, jet ski, all of my dad's tools etc).

Last October, I woke up one morning with no hearing in my right ear. Long story short, I have now lost all the hearing in my right ear with little chance of ever getting any of it back. Along with the loss of hearing was bad vertigo to begin with. It has improved, but I still am dizzy most of the time. The best way to explain it is that my neck is a spring and whenever the movement is bad enough to displace the spring, it takes a bit of time for it to settle down again. Or it's like driving on a corrugated road: you can see everything just that it's all blurry.

And because of the dizziness, I've had to give up my real social passion; flying. I've started some physio recently to try and exercise out the dizziness, with the aim of improving to the point where I can get back in the cockpit again.

And work has been **** lately. My boss has told me that his two bosses are unhappy with the work I'm doing and that I'm not providing them with the information they want. When I ask him what information they want, the answer is that they don't know. So how am I supposed to deliver something to them when they don't even know what they want? I've been in this role for about 4 years now, and for most of that time I've been trying to deliver to our head office expectations. The problem is that none of that is important for our site management. I produce a monthly report and run a monthly workshop. Despite me asking every month, I got no feedback on improvements to the report, and only a handful of people (out of over 30 invited) would attend the workshop. For a number of reasons, I stopped producing both. And not one person asked me why they weren't happening.

I feel like the efforts I have gone to have not been appreciated or valued. As a result, I have become deeply unmotivated. And hence the spiral at work starts.

I have my daughter with me each alternating week. She's just turned 15. For the last year or so, I've really enjoyed spending time with her; going for walks, bike rides, swimming and day trips. But, now she has a boyfriend and all she wants to do is spend time with him. Which I completely understand. Dad's aren't cool at that age. But I miss spending time with her.

I don't have a big circle of friends either. As I work about 45 minutes form where I live, I tend not to socialise after hours with the guys I work with. And because I work so far way, I don't have a big circle of friends in the town I live in. I had one couple I was close with, including a mate that I had been friends with since the start of secondary school, but the separation caused a bit of stress. I had misunderstood something my ex had said about inappropriate advances, thinking it was mate that was doing this, and felt betrayed by his actions. I still got on with his wife, but limited my time to avoid running into my mate. I've only recently got some clarification and found out it wasn't him, but the covid restrictions mean I can't go around there and start making up for lost time. Nor can I tell either of them why I was so hesitant to go around as the inappropriate advances was one of their family members, and they know nothing about it.

On top of all of that, I have been in the market to buy a house to settle in to. I wanted to get a house about the same standard and features of what I had before we separated. We sold that place for just over $400k: 4 bedroom plus study, about 25 years old, nice outdoor area, shed, garage, good area etc. But, to buy something similar now means I need to spend around $450k and as I don't have enough to buy it outright, I'll need to take out a loan. Which feels like a massive step backwards, especially given we were very close to owning the house outright. And the market here is so tight, with more houses being sold than the real estate agents can get on the books. As a result, it gets me down every time I look at a house and find that it's not suitable. In hindsight, I should have bought my ex out of her share of the property. But hindsight is a wonderful thing, right?

And my ex bought the place she moved into as a rental. It seems like everything is working out for her and nothing is working out for me. Not that I begrudge her because of that (lord knows she's already been through enough in her life, so she deserves things going right for her), just that I'd like something to go my way for once.

I keep telling myself that there's a lot more people that have it worse than me. A work colleague lost her father to cancer just over a year ago, and lost her mother to cancer last week. I've got a secure job during these pandemic times, when a lot of people are out of work or have had their hours reduced. My mum lives by herself (my Dad passed away 12 years ago) but she can't see her friends because of the restrictions. As I said before, that makes me realise that I shouldn't feel the way I do, but it doesn't change much for me.

The reason for this post is not to get sympathy. That's not what I'm after. It is just to share where I'm at in my head at the moment. I think I spend so much time looking after other people's feelings and well-being that I don't place myself as a priority.

If you've read all this, then thanks for your time. By doing so, it feels like you've invested more interest in me than most of the people in my life at the moment.

I'm keeping up the exercise, if only to get the dog out and exercised, so that's a good thing. It's probably the one thing that is keeping me on the sane side of the ledger at the moment.

There's times when I just feel like curling up in a ball in the corner.

[T3rminator]

Hey Fox. My thoughts, I don't know if it'll help but what the hey....

1) On the work front, if its toxic and affecting your health, get the hell out. I know its easier said than done, especially at a time like this, but I'm a believer that where there is a will there is a way. With the bullying ordeal I suffered in my previous workplace, I thought I'd never get another job. This made me hang on to the toxic job for longer than I should have, which did tremendous damage to my mental health. Eventually I left. When I got back to AUstralia, I found a new job within 2 weeks. Turns out my current employer took references from my previous Australian employers more seriously than they took the overseas one. Trust that it WILL work out, if that is where you want to go. Otherwise, see point 4.

2) Friends. Having "too many" can be more toxic than you think. They squabble and they make you pick sides. You try to please everyone and end up pleasing no one. I found myself happier when I only had a handful of close mates. If you don't have any close friends at the moment, then start emersing yourself in environnments where there are like minded people. I don't mean groups of people that agree with you all the time, I mean people that have the same underlying belief system. An app like Meet Me might be useful, I've heard of it but never used it. Or even a church group. You don't have to be religious to join them. And they aren't all bible bashers.

3) Don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. Your brain is always trying to solve problems, and when you solve one, another one will come. That is life. Sometimes you can't solve a problem and thats when people start to shut down. The trick is picking the right problems to solve. Just being aware of this has helped me a great deal.

4) I've mentioned it before, but I would recommend the book or audio book, "The subtle art of not giving a fk" by Mark Manson. The principles has helped me immensely over the last few months. It has changed the way I react to all the negativity around us at the moment. I have written down all the things that really matter to me. Any event that doesn't negatively effect those things, its just noise and is not worth giving energy to. Took a while to train my brain to think that way.

Keep kicking on.

[.:4:.]

Everything has been getting a bit on top of me lately. Employment, well that is what it is. Trying to settle my late dads estate, i had to go full legal, and they for whatever reason need all my financials so its like they are putting my testicles into a paper shredder. And to top things off, one of my bordering properties refuse to do either anything about their overgrown back yard, or come to the party to replace the fence their overgrowth had startet to push over. I did complain to the council, so have others, but they are powerless. I also complained to the council about the big glorious gum tree that has big branches that extend over my house. So have my neighbours. A limb flattened the shed of my neighbor a few months back. I did them the nice thing and helped out. Well, a few nights ago one over my house fell. It missed my house. Sort of. It hit the outside unit for my A/c and flattened the fence. Initially i didnt do anything. Me+angry+chainsaw=probably not good. I got a mate to help with the carnage and prop the fence up the next day. But i seriously cannot cut a break at the moment.

[gooseneck]

This might not work for you.

Just don't give them the opportunity. Stay inside your house and keep taking Vitamin D tablets, play video games, socialize with family, watch tv shows, and pop lexapro. That is how I deal with neighbors.

There is zero reason why you need to ever talk or socialize with any of your neighbours. Get a proxy person to talk with them about matters that need talking about and never verbally speak to them directly. Hire a gardener to mow the lawn, don't do it yourself. If a tree needs felling then pay the money and get someone else to do it, someone who isn't emotionally involved in property damage.

And if you are forced into talking to a neighbour, use a tape recorder when you are. That way when they swear at you you can use it against them in court.

I'm going to soon be putting up privacy screens too, made from sheet metal to prevent theft and looters. The neighbors around here will steal something from you then tell everyone in the street that you're a bad person for going after them with the police.

I only ever talk to my friends. Being friends with neighbors is ****ed beyond comprehension because they take everything you say out of context and use it against you to appease the neighbor who hates your guts because she's a ****ing psycho bitch and won't admit it.

[.:4:.]

I get along well with all my bordering neighbors bar the old incoherent bastard who has the overgrown property with the big old gum tree. One of my beast mates mum lives next door to me, and thats how we became mates in the first place. The old bastard who everyone hates, his house is for sale, and i really hope it sells so all the prior complaints can get sorted.
When the other limb flattened my neighbors shed, i heard the bang then yelling in im not sure if it was manderin or cantonese, i dont speak either, but it was an over the fence yell of do you want a hand. I couldnt fix the shed, but i could get rid of the giant limb off the tree on the now flat packed shed. Not to be racist, but for some reason once done there was some confusion when i refused any cash payment. It just what you do. But, these neighbors had also complained about both the state of the ild bastards yard, the tree, the old cars in the yard, the frogs who habbitate his pool and now they have property damage.
The limb that fell my way was just another kick in the pants i didnt really need.

[CoupeKing]

[.:4:.]

I had calmed my farm a bit with the legal business. So had time to process things and get over more or less having my testicles run through a paper shredder over financials and that stuff. Im making the claim, its nothing against myself, but my legal people need full disclosure.
And i have been fully honest.
What stressed me out today was. My legal peoples know im peaking about this business. So they booked a meeting and requested my mum attend just to calm my farm. Thats fine. Ive been asked about disabilities or special needs before, my answer is no.
Mum bought up something that doesnt even cross my mind and nobody ever has noticed. And that just ruined my day. My legal people are all hooray, special needs etc. Im able bodied, have worked in a trade for 14 years that requires coordination and fine motor skills. And i have cerebral palsy. So not a thing really. Its not my brain works but doesnt communicate with my body, its minor. So i just dont feel much pain. Everything else is good.
I dont anything about cerebral palsy, have never needed to. Ive always been fine.
Being hyped up and being treated like 'special needs'. Get absolutely ****ed.
It really does my head in.
Im not disabled in the slightest.

[gooseneck]

Life is beyond ****ed.