Depression, Anxiety

[.:4:.]

Originally Posted by gooseneck

Life is beyond ****ed.

Just remeber there is always somone out there whos life is double ****ed.
Im not in the best headspace at the moment, but, life management makes things easier. One management thing i picked up from work, only answer every 3rd phone call. If its important, they'll call back.
That helped me out because i took some time to just do things to take my mind away from my situation.
Not even stuff i enjoy, but things like garden maintenance, stuff like that.
Just stuff to clear the head, wrap my head things without the constant outside opinions.
Opinions are like arseholes, everybody has one. But they are all different, and not all suit the situation.

[gooseneck]

I'm not too miffed. Just got depressed 2 days ago because I forgot to take my lexapro 2 days in a row. Simple as that.

I am a bit upset at the cold weather though but its better than melting. I might buy two or three extra blankets this year for next winter and some more clothes, can never have enough clothes.

Bought a Logitech G503 gaming mouse that malfunctions and the seller won't refund me, they're worth $100 (LMB doesn't work sometimes) and started playing Fortnite about a month ago, I levelled up and I realised that about 90% of the players are cheating using macros and aimbots.

So that is a bit of a downer. I can't win a game because I'm too honest? No. Its because Fortnite is full of 12-14 year old kids who don't know how much of a dick move cheating is.

What ever happened to being ashamed of doing something? When I grew up cheating in multiplayer was a shameful thing that would get you instantly banned by moderators that were on duty but cheating in single player was ok if you wanted to just enjoy the storyline.

Cheating is so rife on fortnite that you die within minutes of hitting the ground by players who use macros to box you in then jump over the wall and instantly kill you with a single headshot.

What ever happened to being imperfect, being a human?

[sneaky]

Gooseneck - I always thought I was killed off quickly in fortnite because i'm no good at it I don't play much, usually when my son is on the xbox and we take turns death for death, lets just say his turns take a lot longer than my turns.

Jump back on the meds and hope they kick in quickly.


I had a less than productive weekend - I did make it to yoga friday and saturday to get the days off to a good start, but then got home and hid from the wind all weekend. I had things to do that I should have been in and out of the house and up and down ladders for the day. I did some ebaying to grab a few items i need. hopefully there's not as much wind next weekend and I will get something done.

[.:4:.]

Didnt get much sleep last night knowing i had a pretty full on solicitors meeting today. The meeting went well, but yeah, it was more full on then any meeting i have ever had. So i firstly do not like getting into the nitty gritty of my own financials. Secondly, disability stuff, my mum was there to fill in the timelime. I dont remember my early childhood, but still, nothing im comfortable to talk about.
My legal people are great, nothing is asked in any form of aggression. Dunno why anything is relevant.
Upon leaving my mum commented on how proffesional i dealt with the barage of heavy questions. Thats called customer service face.
She asked if i wanted to go for lunch. I said no, wasnt hungry. I actually wanted to throw up. I wasnt physically sick, it was just way too much to take in in a short period of time.

[gooseneck]

People wonder why I'm an introvert.

Its because only human beings know how to kill another human being through prolonged mental torture and torment.

**** humans.

^ Thats how I feel when I've been glutenized.

Got glutenized tonight because my mum suggested that maybe the Pauls Custard mix was the same stuff that they used in the bottled pre-made stuff. I said "no, it contains starch from wheat, see" I figured, meh maybe its ok? Maybe the starch is ok. So stupid me tried it out a few hours ago. Sure enough I feel like I just dropped a 100 pounds of paranoia and I feel like I'm going crazy.

I'm going to go and eat something which will give me diarrhea as a treament to the gluten. To try and get it out of my intestines sooner rather than later.

She does this every few months, when you've got your guard down she conveniently forgets that I've got to be on a strict gluten free diet and suggests something tasty and especially sugary for me to eat that may glutenize me. Its almost like when teenagers are deliberately made sick by their parents. I then cave in eventually, get glutenized and then lash out at her (verbally). I didn't tonight, she is asleep and I'm in my bedroom. Over the years I've found its best to stay away from others if I'm glutenized.

Listening to Garbage helps too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4RPKqo18J4

It sucks. I'm eating a can of baked beans at the moment cause I know that they're gluten free. Couldn't find anything else to eat.

What makes things worse is she has stopped suggesting to me things that I can cook for her and has entirely left it up to me to feed her every day.

I asked her a few days ago if she likes pizza. She said yes. 12 months ago I was cooking nothing but pizza for her and she constantly suggested to me that she wanted something else to eat.

Laziest woman on planet earth with more excuses than you can poke a stick at. But she has had a rough time with her husband, my father. So. You can't blame her for how she behaves. But it still makes my life difficult.

Then there is my brother and sister. Whole other story there.

[sneaky]

not really depression related this time, more like I need somewhere to vent..

my dog hurt her leg the other day and she will need surgery to fix a cruciate ligament injury.. she is a 7yr old golden retriever so hopefully still lots of life in her.

yesterday there was no question of getting the surgery, now I still want her to get the surgery but wondering how crazy I am for spending the money required to fix a loved family member.

The normal vet ball-parked an estimate at between $5k-$10k which I can get my hands on but in the current economic climate it is getting to where I don't even feel comfortable telling close friends and family how much I'm looking at spending. We have a consult with the surgical vet tomorrow, he doesn't work Wednesdays - I assume he is sailing his giant yacht or buying another Ferrari or something.

I will ask about alternative options, but it doesn't look like there is one at the moment - seems to be surgery, carry the injury or get put down...

[FTE217]

sneaky, in the big picture, you do what you feel is right to do, it no matter what others may think, they'd think the same with no covid by the way.
IF it makes you happy and your fam thats all that matters pal.
My Mum spent a small fortune on her cat (passed away @ 18yrs) over the years, enough for a deposit people save for a house.
You think WTF BUT thats what she wanted to do - I don't blame her one bit but the ol man used to just shake his head for I know what he preffered lol.....

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by sneaky

not really depression related this time, more like I need somewhere to vent..

my dog hurt her leg the other day and she will need surgery to fix a cruciate ligament injury.. she is a 7yr old golden retriever so hopefully still lots of life in her.

yesterday there was no question of getting the surgery, now I still want her to get the surgery but wondering how crazy I am for spending the money required to fix a loved family member.

The normal vet ball-parked an estimate at between $5k-$10k which I can get my hands on but in the current economic climate it is getting to where I don't even feel comfortable telling close friends and family how much I'm looking at spending. We have a consult with the surgical vet tomorrow, he doesn't work Wednesdays - I assume he is sailing his giant yacht or buying another Ferrari or something.

I will ask about alternative options, but it doesn't look like there is one at the moment - seems to be surgery, carry the injury or get put down...

As mentioned, do what you feel is right.

I have had to shell out for some pretty big vet bills this year. One person questioned spending so much on a 7 year old dog, which I was somewhat offended by. It was not until that same person was put in similar situation that his view on the matter changed. At the time, I had to keep what was going on quite to the people around me to, trying to avoid being told that it's "only a dog". My little dog knows me better than I do sometimes, there was no way at all I wasn't going to do everything I could to make sure he would be ok. Justifying the expense to others, well they just don't understand.

[MercuryT]

Hope all going well guys and girls.

Stay positive. Life will get better.

[T3rminator]

Originally Posted by sneaky

not really depression related this time, more like I need somewhere to vent..

my dog hurt her leg the other day and she will need surgery to fix a cruciate ligament injury.. she is a 7yr old golden retriever so hopefully still lots of life in her.

yesterday there was no question of getting the surgery, now I still want her to get the surgery but wondering how crazy I am for spending the money required to fix a loved family member.

The normal vet ball-parked an estimate at between $5k-$10k which I can get my hands on but in the current economic climate it is getting to where I don't even feel comfortable telling close friends and family how much I'm looking at spending. We have a consult with the surgical vet tomorrow, he doesn't work Wednesdays - I assume he is sailing his giant yacht or buying another Ferrari or something.

I will ask about alternative options, but it doesn't look like there is one at the moment - seems to be surgery, carry the injury or get put down...

One thing to consider is quality of life with surgery vs non surgery. Get multiple opinions.

I had a golden retriever when I was 18. He had a tiny little lump on the roof of his mouth, vet wanted to check it out, so I let him. Turned out to be a tumor. Without any thought, I pulled out my entire life savings, and said "off you go, fix him". Whilst they successfully removed the tumor, his quality of life suffered due to chemo. Cut a long story short, 12 months later he didn't make it. His quality of life was next to zero after the operation. Before that he was a happy dog. If I had my time again I would have said, let him be until his time is up.

Sounds like your dilemma is more about what other people might think. One way to get around it is to tell family / friends that you self insured. Whats the cost to insure a dog these days? $900 a year? 900 x 7 = $6,300. And you don't have to cover any excess.

[Mr_G6ET]

Originally Posted by T3rminator

One thing to consider is quality of life with surgery vs non surgery. Get multiple opinions.

.... His quality of life was next to zero after the operation. Before that he was a happy dog. ....

good first quote, I read online after first seeing this subject was let heal vs operate. Sometimes there is recovery.
Doggy doses of Phenergan for a few weeks, like how bad is it ? As you mentioned, maybe a boat payment is due.

Look after what provides you the most.

Cold cold query but how much is a puppy ?

[sneaky]

thanks for the support everyone - the surgeon's quote was at the lower end of the other vets guesstimate earlier in the week. All up I'm out of pocket about $7k including the first vet for xrays and diagnosis.. fun fact, there is a good chance the other knee will go at some point in the future as well... it sounds like the recovery won't be fun but she is expected to make full recovery and be able to do all the doggy things in a few months.

she went under the knife today, all reports from the vet are good so far.

there doesn't seem to be much of a 'let it heal' option as this leads to severe osteo arthritis.

Mr G6ET - my golden retriever was $1200. If the question on price was aimed at replace instead of fix the current one, that wasn't an option.. she is about middle age and i couldn't put her down for a sore leg... i'm middle age with sore back/hip/knees but i don't need to be put down yet

[Mr_G6ET]

Originally Posted by sneaky

thanks for the support everyone - the surgeon's quote was at the lower end of the other vets guesstimate earlier in the week. All up I'm out of pocket about $7k including the first vet for xrays and diagnosis.. fun fact, there is a good chance the other knee will go at some point in the future as well... it sounds like the recovery won't be fun but she is expected to make full recovery and be able to do all the doggy things in a few months.

she went under the knife today, all reports from the vet are good so far.

there doesn't seem to be much of a 'let it heal' option as this leads to severe osteo arthritis.

Mr G6ET - my golden retriever was $1200. If the question on price was aimed at replace instead of fix the current one, that wasn't an option.. she is about middle age and i couldn't put her down for a sore leg... i'm middle age with sore back/hip/knees but i don't need to be put down yet

Yeah, sorry for the 'joke' but fully understand, they are part of the family. The connection they have and benefit they give is priceless.
I was in a hard spot, down, but it was a new relationship with a dog that gave me constant smile.
My lady was a good half of the help but I recognised the unconditional affection from the dog helped me.

Again, sorry for the cold joke, my dad would cane me

[Gypzy]

Originally Posted by sneaky

not really depression related this time, more like I need somewhere to vent..

my dog hurt her leg the other day and she will need surgery to fix a cruciate ligament injury.. she is a 7yr old golden retriever so hopefully still lots of life in her.

yesterday there was no question of getting the surgery, now I still want her to get the surgery but wondering how crazy I am for spending the money required to fix a loved family member.

The normal vet ball-parked an estimate at between $5k-$10k which I can get my hands on but in the current economic climate it is getting to where I don't even feel comfortable telling close friends and family how much I'm looking at spending. We have a consult with the surgical vet tomorrow, he doesn't work Wednesdays - I assume he is sailing his giant yacht or buying another Ferrari or something.

I will ask about alternative options, but it doesn't look like there is one at the moment - seems to be surgery, carry the injury or get put down...

The value of having a pet, in many cases a dog, or three! can be the difference between been here or not. Sneaky i hope your pooch is recovering well and from expierence, it will be a long and time consuming recovery but so very well worth it.
I haven't been on this forum much but often check on the recent postings. This one in particular has my interest.
2019 I would like to forget, but can't out of respect for my Dad and wife who i both lost within two months of each other. When Dad passed away in July 2019, i had already said goodbye to him while he still knew who i was and could sort of understand what i was trying to say to him. Dementia sucks.
My wife couldn't make it to Dads funeral as she had her own health issues and passed away in September 2019. Soon i reckon she'll make it rain on us and i can always relate green grass and flowering shrubs to her love of gardening.
So what got me through the last twelve months has to be our kids, that being our three dogs. To get home from work to an empty house wasn't going to sit well for me. To miss that companionship wasn't going to be any good for me either. But to get home from work and pull up at the front gate to three wagging tails was the absolute best thing that i could wish for after an absolute **** series of heart breaking events.
Having a pet to lean on for my recovery saved my life. I don't think I'd be here now if I didn't have these guys for company.

[Mr_G6ET]

I'm going to add to this thread by posting this web site:

https://adf.org.au/drug-facts/medicinal-cannabis/

Nothing more than info ... this time

[sneaky]

Mr G6ET - no offence taken at all. It is a fair question to ask and part of the reason I asked my dog crazy friend for advice, nothing like skewing the results to hear the answer I want.

Puppy is back home and adjusting to the idea of not being allowed to free roam the house and yard as she pleases. My other dog is being a pain in the butt so he might get a holiday at my parents to allow the retriever to recover in peace - it would just be me and the patient for a week.

Wish I could swing carers leave for the week to care for the dog. I’m already feeling the stress of acting in a higher position at work while I just want to be looking after the dog.

My last shrink appointment was trying to focus on spending some money on myself, stop living like I’m poor and enjoy some of my hard earned. That theory has now been put on hold. I have also had the mortgage broker doing her maths for me and trying to work a new car into the mix, I might have to give her a call and cancel that idea for the moment - I’ll sort the mortgage and forget the car as it wasn’t a necessity.

[Mr_G6ET]

Originally Posted by sneaky

Mr G6ET - no offence taken at all. It is a fair question to ask and part of the reason I asked my dog crazy friend for advice, nothing like skewing the results to hear the answer I want.

Puppy is back home and adjusting to the idea of not being allowed to free roam the house and yard as she pleases. My other dog is being a pain in the butt so he might get a holiday at my parents to allow the retriever to recover in peace - it would just be me and the patient for a week.

Wish I could swing carers leave for the week to care for the dog. I’m already feeling the stress of acting in a higher position at work while I just want to be looking after the dog.

My last shrink appointment was trying to focus on spending some money on myself, stop living like I’m poor and enjoy some of my hard earned. That theory has now been put on hold. I have also had the mortgage broker doing her maths for me and trying to work a new car into the mix, I might have to give her a call and cancel that idea for the moment - I’ll sort the mortgage and forget the car as it wasn’t a necessity.

Good to hear the patient is back home, mission complete.
I suggest the focus on thinking of 'you' is still valid, its not always about money.

[sneaky]

well I realised last night that I had forgotten to take my zoloft for a few days and I haven't noticed any side effects.. My morning routine has changed slightly and I have been more concerned with sorting out the dog tablets, also I stopped taking hay fever tablets (swapped to nose spray) so I haven't woken up reaching for those tablets.

[buggerlugs]

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-10-...ecret/12681956

[sneaky]

How is everyone doing out there in Ford Land?

I've just had a week off work (school holidays), spent the week so far with my daughter as my son is away with friends. nothing much exciting has happened, we have played lots of xbox (her brother usually hogs the xbox) - there was much swearing at crash bandicoot

The weather is starting to warm up which is good, I've been out for a few walks around the lake in the sun for some exercise and fresh air.

[Mr_G6ET]

Originally Posted by sneaky

How is everyone doing out there in Ford Land?

I've just had a week off work (school holidays), spent the week so far with my daughter as my son is away with friends. nothing much exciting has happened, we have played lots of xbox (her brother usually hogs the xbox) - there was much swearing at crash bandicoot

The weather is starting to warm up which is good, I've been out for a few walks around the lake in the sun for some exercise and fresh air.

All sounds like good medicine.
How's the dog, up and about again ?

[sneaky]

Originally Posted by Mr_G6ET

All sounds like good medicine.
How's the dog, up and about again ?

Yep, she is up and about and getting back to her normal self. Thanks for asking The other dog came home this week as well, I forgot how much of a pest he is

[T3rminator]

Originally Posted by sneaky

How is everyone doing out there in Ford Land?

I've just had a week off work (school holidays), spent the week so far with my daughter as my son is away with friends. nothing much exciting has happened, we have played lots of xbox (her brother usually hogs the xbox) - there was much swearing at crash bandicoot

The weather is starting to warm up which is good, I've been out for a few walks around the lake in the sun for some exercise and fresh air.

Going good actually . Laying off social media and general news has done wonders for mental health.

Originally Posted by T3rminator

Going good actually . Laying off social media and general news has done wonders for mental health.

Amen brother


I hope everyone is feeling tip top, on this glorious weekend

[sneaky]

I'm cured!!!

not really. I had the last of my six Medicare subsidised sessions this week. Feeling much much better than I was at the start of the process a few months ago. At this point there are no more follow up appointments booked and I feel like I could carry on without them for the time being.

Still on Zoloft (50mg daily) and still working on getting outside, exercise, meditating and know i should be eating better.

Loving the warmer weather we have had this week.


Carry on people, stay strong, speak up, reach out, seek help, do what works for you

[Mr_G6ET]

Originally Posted by sneaky

I'm cured!!!

Carry on people, stay strong, speak up, reach out, seek help, do what works for you

Positive thinking is a lot of it and sounds like you're doin' it.
Warmer weather is here, its looking good for you there. Your tip 'stay strong, speak up, reach out, seek help, do what works for you' is positive. We all need to do that even in small steps.

In Feb '20 we got a new puppy, thats been medicine for me; that and some recent return business from an employer I was laid off from during C19 ****

[MercuryT]

Keep at it as it's tough.

Car serviced whilst in hospital (thanks parents, hence workshop thread) after an attempt.

Stay strong as I know. Be stronger than me.

Cheers Merc.

[danzvtil]

It’s been 3 months since I ended up in hospital for heart issues. Part of my therapy has been to take beta blockers daily to slow the heart rate and manage the risk until it can be corrected.
Gotta say, what a MAJOR effect these have had on my mental health.
The first 3 weeks I was on sotalol, side effects include difficulty breathing, depression,anxiety,dizziness and bloody hell did the darkness descend, I was still able to work on the proviso I avoid ladders for obvious reasons, but my customers noticed a change in my demeanour. Some days I was so fatigued I was home by 3 pm.
The specialist then changed me to flecanaide, and the asthma and darkness lifted. I had no idea how bad I was until I changed. I was still leaning to anxiety most days and swapped my daily espresso coffee for instant (yech!) for an improvement in that symptom. I was worried about the darkness coming back if I go completely caffeine free which is a distinct possibility.
So here I am, learning about heart health, the effects of medicines on the human body, and learning about my own physical and mental limits.I will come out of this fitter and healthier.

[Citroënbender]

It’s good to hear you’re on the mend.

[blueoval]

Is weight gain a side effect of anxiety and depression?

I had a mini break down about 2 days ago. Not sure what triggered it but work was getting on top of me big time. I also felt emotional and thinking my late father and my uncle who both passed this year within 4 months of each other. I had all these negative emotions going through me and I lost it.

It was only until I was able to open up to the wife more and talk to her about how I was feeling that some of the anxiety had released. Not a lot, but enough to release tension and some of the demons in my own head.

I joined up with Mensline.org to have as back up to chat to someone. I think taking that step made me realize it was long overdue to do something.