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Old 09-07-2024, 10:56 AM   #1771
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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Originally Posted by mondeomatureguy View Post
Hi Guys,
to those guys that were on here when i talked about my wife suffering from Anxiety due to her weight.
She started to lose weight a year ago and is still going strong. I brought her an exercise Bike to start with and she rode it for 15 minutes twice a day.

she dropped 20kilos doing that but the bike started to hurt he knees. Now she goes for a walk with me in the morning and when i cant make it she goes by her self.

At the moment shes lost 30kilos in weight, had to take some of her old dress in so they fit her. iam very proud of her its very hard to lose weight when your in your 60s but shes still going strong.

thanks guys for your support.
Amazing achievement.

To reduce the pressure on her knees with the exercise bike. She needs to set the saddle up higher so that her quads are more engaged to take the down force pressure rather than relying on her knees. Try it. Get her to try a few different heights so that she no longer feels it in her knees but all in her quads. It will make a difference.
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Old 09-07-2024, 12:55 PM   #1772
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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Amazing achievement.

To reduce the pressure on her knees with the exercise bike. She needs to set the saddle up higher so that her quads are more engaged to take the down force pressure rather than relying on her knees. Try it. Get her to try a few different heights so that she no longer feels it in her knees but all in her quads. It will make a difference.
It used to be recommended that you set up the height of the seat such that your leg was just not quite fully extended when the pedal was at the lowest point. Is that still the technique used?

Might help MMG out to set the bike up properly if he's not aware of it?
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Old 09-07-2024, 06:46 PM   #1773
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

Hi Guys,
i want too thank FTE 217 and all the other guys for their support and kind words.
I dont want you all to get the wrong idea that my wife stayed at home all day long and stuffed her face full of food.

she suffers from Epilepsy from the age of 15 years old but hasnt had a seizure since she was 23 years old. The mediation she takes makes it hard to loose weight also.

So as her anxiety got worse and she gained more weight i came up with an 'idea. As they say ' you have to be cruel to be kind". I came home and said "i dont want to come home and find you on the carpet suffering a heat attack.

A few weeks later she went shopping at Aldi and brought an exercise Bike and i put it togeather.

when it was stuff i had this forum to get ideas, support and blow off some steam so thank you so much all of you.
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Old 09-07-2024, 08:03 PM   #1774
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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It used to be recommended that you set up the height of the seat such that your leg was just not quite fully extended when the pedal was at the lowest point. Is that still the technique used?

Might help MMG out to set the bike up properly if he's not aware of it?
Have a look at this video. Its a bit long winded but should give you and MMG an informed insight to set up the saddle height of a stationary bike.

https://youtu.be/csNeUKYBW0E?si=HYBOOh-Ne-sV_hX4
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Old 09-07-2024, 08:10 PM   #1775
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Still taking my quarter of a tablet of Paroxetine on most days.
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Old 09-07-2024, 08:23 PM   #1776
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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Hi Guys,
i want too thank FTE 217 and all the other guys for their support and kind words.
I dont want you all to get the wrong idea that my wife stayed at home all day long and stuffed her face full of food.

she suffers from Epilepsy from the age of 15 years old but hasnt had a seizure since she was 23 years old. The mediation she takes makes it hard to loose weight also.

So as her anxiety got worse and she gained more weight i came up with an 'idea. As they say ' you have to be cruel to be kind". I came home and said "i dont want to come home and find you on the carpet suffering a heat attack.

A few weeks later she went shopping at Aldi and brought an exercise Bike and i put it togeather.

when it was stuff i had this forum to get ideas, support and blow off some steam so thank you so much all of you.
mate we all appreciate you putting laundry out there, thats brave in itself on your part and your a Legend of a hubby considering your wife's condition since 15.
Never entered my mind re qty of food might I add but now understand alot, damn drugs, help and consequences to pay.
Yep you got to be cruel to kind is an ol goodi, though some in todays world would suggest thats too hardline.
Point is when presented with care and luv it does wonders especilly when the person listens.
Bravo to both of you !
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Old 09-07-2024, 08:25 PM   #1777
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Still taking my quarter of a tablet of Paroxetine on most days.
image
Look after yourself as well Syndrome.
Enjoy the football its good medicine for I know your into it like myself.
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Old 14-07-2024, 12:19 PM   #1778
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

Hi Guys,
I love driving so the Saturday just gone 13th/7 i got up at 5am and left Goulburn at 6am just myself and my camera. First stop Braidwood for a cup of tea and something to eat. Then onto Batemans Bay, then went to Narooma looking for whales didnt see any this time and i thought bugger it might as well go to Eden which i did.

I did ask my wife if she wanted to go when i woke up at 5am but she said it was too cold so i went by myself.
I came home via the Snowy Mountains Highway Via Cooma. Now on my travels it gave me plenty of time to think.

Theres plenty of people who suffer from Anxiety, my wifes one of them and plenty of famous people also so your not the only one. When i returned home my wife said " its good for you to have some time to your self and do the things you enjoy.
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Old 14-07-2024, 12:51 PM   #1779
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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Hi Guys,
I love driving so the Saturday just gone 13th/7 i got up at 5am and left Goulburn at 6am just myself and my camera. First stop Braidwood for a cup of tea and something to eat. Then onto Batemans Bay, then went to Narooma looking for whales didnt see any this time and i thought bugger it might as well go to Eden which i did.

I did ask my wife if she wanted to go when i woke up at 5am but she said it was too cold so i went by myself.
I came home via the Snowy Mountains Highway Via Cooma. Now on my travels it gave me plenty of time to think.

Theres plenty of people who suffer from Anxiety, my wifes one of them and plenty of famous people also so your not the only one. When i returned home my wife said " its good for you to have some time to your self and do the things you enjoy.
Its the reason why I bought my XR Falcon. The mrs has zero interest in the car but realizes that when I go out for drives on the weekend in it, it gives me peace and its something I enjoy.
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Old 14-07-2024, 01:06 PM   #1780
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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Its the reason why I bought my XR Falcon. The mrs has zero interest in the car but realizes that when I go out for drives on the weekend in it, it gives me peace and its something I enjoy.
Still doing your photography?
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Old 14-07-2024, 01:27 PM   #1781
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Still doing your photography?
Partly. I mainly take photos of the car now. Unless there is a lightning storm then Im out. Instagram is not the place it once was so I have shut down my account there and I post landscape photos on Vero instead.

Photography is another great outlet. I find its peaceful and gives you the ability to think about nothing else than taking a great shot.
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Old 14-07-2024, 01:43 PM   #1782
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Partly. I mainly take photos of the car now. Unless there is a lightning storm then Im out. Instagram is not the place it once was so I have shut down my account there and I post landscape photos on Vero instead.

Photography is another great outlet. I find its peaceful and gives you the ability to think about nothing else than taking a great shot.



That's what prompted me to ask the question.
Glad to hear you're still out and about and that it's something you still find enjoyable, even if you're not doing as much as you once were.

I miss seeing your shots in here. You have a great eye and skill
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Old 14-07-2024, 02:43 PM   #1783
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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[/B]

That's what prompted me to ask the question.
Glad to hear you're still out and about and that it's something you still find enjoyable, even if you're not doing as much as you once were.

I miss seeing your shots in here. You have a great eye and skill
Appreciate the kind words mate. I will post up some more stuff on my photography thread when I get the chance.
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Old 14-07-2024, 03:29 PM   #1784
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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Its the reason why I bought my XR Falcon. The mrs has zero interest in the car but realizes that when I go out for drives on the weekend in it, it gives me peace and its something I enjoy.
And I'm guessing you come home in a better mood, like you have fed your soul.

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Partly. I mainly take photos of the car now. Unless there is a lightning storm then Im out. Instagram is not the place it once was so I have shut down my account there and I post landscape photos on Vero instead.

Photography is another great outlet. I find its peaceful and gives you the ability to think about nothing else than taking a great shot.
And for me, its detailing, researching detailing, buying detailing supplies, writing about detailing..........................
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Old 14-07-2024, 04:54 PM   #1785
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And I'm guessing you come home in a better mood, like you have fed your soul.



And for me, its detailing, researching detailing, buying detailing supplies, writing about detailing..........................
Spot on. It felt like the money I put into the car and time I put in working during the week to support my hobbies is worth it.

Every guy needs something to do to help them feel accomplished or fulfilled outside of the regular duties of home/work. It doesnt have to be anything as big as what Im doing. It could be going for a bushwalk or riding a bike. You could have a small hobby in collecting things of interest or building an engine, geocaching, star gazing, photography, reading a book, etc. it doesn't have to be much. but it needs to be something you are happy to wake up each weekend or day and say, "Im looking forward to doing that".

PS - Congrats on 12000 posts.
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Old 14-07-2024, 05:07 PM   #1786
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Spot on. It felt like the money I put into the car and time I put in working during the week to support my hobbies is worth it.

Every guy needs something to do to help them feel accomplished or fulfilled outside of the regular duties of home/work. It doesnt have to be anything as big as what Im doing. It could be going for a bushwalk or riding a bike. You could have a small hobby in collecting things of interest or building an engine, geocaching, star gazing, photography, reading a book, etc. it doesn't have to be much. but it needs to be something you are happy to wake up each weekend or day and say, "Im looking forward to doing that".

PS - Congrats on 12000 posts.
12000 posts? Wow, I would have thought it would have been higher than that.
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Old 19-07-2024, 10:28 PM   #1787
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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Hi Guys,
When i returned home my wife said " it’s good for you to have some time to your self and do the things you enjoy.
That would be awesome to just go for a relaxing drive somewhere. Ah remember those good old days of doing things. When you have kids bad luck, harden up and get over. I might get time to do something for myself in a decade or two.
Leaving the house is just painful exercise that causes more issues than it fixes.
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Old 20-07-2024, 01:37 PM   #1788
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Employer retention will eventually be an issue for staff. All these extra measures for employees simply add another potential rort to the Workers Comp system. We've had 3 fake claims in the last 12 months. Unsurprisingly, we are over the stress and hassle of employing people and will be closing. It's just not worth the bother anymore.
We downsized a few weeks back. All staff, other than myself and my wife, are gone. I actually show up to work with a spring in my step, and even my wife who had little love for this place, now rolls up her sleeves without (much) protest. The people I talk to around my age who employ others, tend to say the same thing. Life was better without the staff and the stresses that come with them. Bizarrely, I'm working longer hours yet it doesn't feel like it. Wish we'd done it sooner.
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Old 20-07-2024, 06:18 PM   #1789
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We downsized a few weeks back. All staff, other than myself and my wife, are gone. I actually show up to work with a spring in my step, and even my wife who had little love for this place, now rolls up her sleeves without (much) protest. The people I talk to around my age who employ others, tend to say the same thing. Life was better without the staff and the stresses that come with them. Bizarrely, I'm working longer hours yet it doesn't feel like it. Wish we'd done it sooner.
This week I was part of and witnessed what a small business owner has to go through in terms of staffing, I totally understand that sentiment. Sadly, dealing with staff takes you away from the hands-on areas of the business that you enjoy. But then, sometimes you can make the business work without those extra people.

I've had people tell me I should have hired staff for my own business, which would have increased my output and taken some load off my own body. But in my industry, customers are hiring a particular person's ability and knowledge, not an offsider who may not be as particular or skilled as I would be. I also wouldn't have the flexibility of when and where I fit this into my week, then naturally having to deal with all the baggage that comes with hiring someone. I doubt it would make a profit either.
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Old 09-08-2024, 11:00 AM   #1790
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

After a major anxiety/panic attack a couple of days ago, my daughter ended up at the local hospital's emergency department for help. Thankfully, she had a pretty good experience and the crisis has been resolved. A lot of hard yards now to get things back to normal though.

So, I just wanted to share that it's always ok to not be ok. If you feel that things are not going the right way, seek help before things get to a crisis point.

There's absolutely no shame in having to reach out to people and ask for help. Just as most people would not feel ashamed if they sustained a physical injury that required them to visit the local emergency department to get treatment (for stitches as en eg).

Look after yourselves and your family, folks.
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Old 10-08-2024, 07:05 AM   #1791
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All the best for the family, brother.
We all get the wobbles from time to time.
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Old 13-08-2024, 07:54 PM   #1792
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

https://www.facebook.com/abcnews.au/...hJJHjNVOBSwHk4
Abc weather guy has a panic attack live on air, the caring and inclusive way Lisa Millar rolls with it is extraordinary.
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Old 14-08-2024, 07:50 AM   #1793
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

All our dealings with the Dept of Education, Workcover, QSuper and solicitors are finally finished.
My wife actually drove the car a couple of weeks ago for the first time in a couple of years. She only went into town (about 10km) to the chemist and a blood test and I will admit I was on edge at home. 3 hours later she came home and told me it was just like riding a bike. Apparently there were 17 in front of her for bloods. She has willingly driven a couple of times since some of which were no choice as I had been in hospital for a few days. I am now seeing an improvement in her outlook although she is still having some pretty poor days. She seems to bounce back faster. It's been hell for a couple of years but I can now see light at the end of the tunnel for her. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping this improvement continues at whatever pace she needs.
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Old 28-08-2024, 09:27 AM   #1794
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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Originally Posted by iCat View Post
There's been a bit about this topic in the media of late. What tips can you suggest to help people through these dark times?
Honestly? After dealing with the crap for 30 years I've found the best way to overcome alot of it is to face it head on. No band aids, no looking for other peoples sympathy or expecting them to solve your problems or change their ways to suit you.
Meds are a cover up, Shrinks make things worse, doctors refer you blah blah blah.
And if social media isn't helping then GTF off it.
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Old 28-08-2024, 09:59 AM   #1795
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

LG hope the Mrs's is carrying on with the improvements all the best....

nearlythere its a double edged sword mind you.
I get it, GP's today are just the referral kings - I find we/patients don't ask them enough questions who where why ? practise's normally like referring what suits them and alliance they have that at times are not good enough so your on the expensive specialist search merry go round.
Shrinks I entirely agree the experience I have had make things worse, maybe I didnt find the right one I don't know.
Meds are cover up and not, some really need them, without them some can't function.
I do feel scripts are handed out willy nilly but we/patient need to research more instead of just following what your told.
Your body/mind tells you what is working or not if your down that rabbit hole.
SM, yer forget it, thats a worse drug than pharma imo.
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Old 29-08-2024, 11:00 PM   #1796
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

I have seen the benefits of people finding a good match in psychologists, it’s unlikely the first one tried will be right.

When my mate was first diagnosed with cancer, it took four or five attempts to find the right “fit”. He did in the end, changes were not abrupt but subtle; he’s been able to find more of a balance between living in the moment and cautiously making plans. I also watched a family member make small improvements in outlook over a longer period of consultation with someone who was their second or third attempt at a “match” - unfortunately the practitioner died suddenly and they have since become worse than ever.

A while back, Cav also detailed his psychologist helping him find perspective on long-established trauma and grief.
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Old 30-08-2024, 08:00 PM   #1797
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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Originally Posted by nearlythere View Post
Honestly? After dealing with the crap for 30 years I've found the best way to overcome alot of it is to face it head on. No band aids, no looking for other peoples sympathy or expecting them to solve your problems or change their ways to suit you.
Meds are a cover up, Shrinks make things worse, doctors refer you blah blah blah.
And if social media isn't helping then GTF off it.
Beg to differ depending on your condition, I find my family doctor has been good for me since he has known my family and I for over 40 years, we have regular chats which has been very helpful.

Being able to talk openly is a good start for anyone.
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Old 30-08-2024, 08:01 PM   #1798
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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Originally Posted by nearlythere View Post
Honestly? After dealing with the crap for 30 years I've found the best way to overcome alot of it is to face it head on. No band aids, no looking for other peoples sympathy or expecting them to solve your problems or change their ways to suit you.
Meds are a cover up, Shrinks make things worse, doctors refer you blah blah blah.
And if social media isn't helping then GTF off it.
So, in other words, suck it up and get on with things! Is this not what's been the downfall for so many men, that they hold it all in until they can no longer take it. All in an attempt to not appear weak in front of other males. Tell that to the wife and mother of two who recently lost her husband to suicide, an otherwise "fine" young guy.

I get what you are saying, but there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to mental health. I would have thought a thread titled Depression, Anxiety on a predominantly male forum would encourage those who are suffering in silence to speak up. Put it this way, I can vent here in ways I am not comfortable doing elsewhere.
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Old 31-08-2024, 10:27 AM   #1799
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

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Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6 View Post
So, in other words, suck it up and get on with things! Is this not what's been the downfall for so many men, that they hold it all in until they can no longer take it. All in an attempt to not appear weak in front of other males. Tell that to the wife and mother of two who recently lost her husband to suicide, an otherwise "fine" young guy. I get what you are saying, but there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to mental health. I would have thought a thread titled Depression, Anxiety on a predominantly male forum would encourage those who are suffering in silence to speak up. Put it this way, I can vent here in ways I am not comfortable doing elsewhere.
I get what you're saying but if you look around you'll see things aint what they used to be..
Chris Rock once said " Only women children and dogs are loved unconditionally.As a man in 2024 you are to sit down shut up and only be useful when required. We cannot cry or speak up without being seen as weak if we keep it up.Society now revolves around women, the LGBTQ community, gender equality, trans ect.Statistics on suicide regarding men is through the roof. 9 people a day in Australia take their own lives and 75% of those are men.I am 45 with a wife and 5 children and I have attempted to take my own life 3 times in the last 5 years. My kids are what give me the most strength.The things I've done and tried to pull myself out is exhausting but I'm still here.I have been to 3 GPs, therapists, shrinks and I got locked away in the mental ward for a while when I tried again to take my own life.NONE of these helped atleast not in the long run. It's all BS and you need to work it out yourself. Yes my family has been there for me but there is only so much others can do for you, you MUST help yourself and understand the world has changed and that basically no one is your court as much you think or like. After 30 years this is what I've learnt. I now sit back, keep 95% to myself and simply march forward. By finally figuring out that it's pretty much on me I'm coping better.Unless you've been where I and many other males have been then you or anyone else simply have no idea.

Last edited by nearlythere; 31-08-2024 at 10:42 AM.
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Old 31-08-2024, 10:28 AM   #1800
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Default Re: Depression, Anxiety

Quote:
Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6 View Post
So, in other words, suck it up and get on with things! Is this not what's been the downfall for so many men, that they hold it all in until they can no longer take it. All in an attempt to not appear weak in front of other males. Tell that to the wife and mother of two who recently lost her husband to suicide, an otherwise "fine" young guy. I get what you are saying, but there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to mental health. I would have thought a thread titled Depression, Anxiety on a predominantly male forum would encourage those who are suffering in silence to speak up. Put it this way, I can vent here in ways I am not comfortable doing elsewhere.
By the way opening up in front of other males is ALOT better than you think because we relate, So what I also suggest is to talk to other men in a similar situation as they will often give the best support. If GPs, therapists, shrinks and pills are helping you cope then that's great but alot of what your told and given band aid solutions to the underlying problems you are probably not even aware of. Alot reamin dormant and will arise again until you learn the best ways to cope that works for you as we are all different.Everything I've written is from my own experience and we all react differently to different types of assistance but that's mine and if it helps even one person then that's something. To anyone struggling just remember you matter! You're loved and that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.God bless

Last edited by nearlythere; 31-08-2024 at 10:46 AM.
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