Depression, Anxiety

[Tui2]

Just a call out to Madaya n SYZ , hope all well, I'm having a shocker couple of days after replacing both front hub assemblies and of course getting up off the ground every 15 mins or so n having to wash hands again n go tend to the yelling coming from the lounge room, over the top of 3 screaming tvs mind you, to tend to the gerries. It wears me thin especially if i attempt to do anything other than my caring duties, as my new meds do their job and allow me to focus on a chore, but to finish what i started is a chore in itself with their needs being first priority and ... blah blah blah life blah beam me up scotty, this planet sucks, huh! Keep well all

[SYZ]

Just a call out to Madaya n SYZ, hope all well...

Hang in there mate. And congratulate yourself on at least being able to multi-task okay—even if it is an ongoing stressor coping with your oldies. And yeah, I'm travelling okay currently.

My thoughts are with you.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by SYZ

Hang in there mate. And congratulate yourself on at least being able to multi-task okay—even if it is an ongoing stressor coping with your oldies. And yeah, I'm travelling okay currently.

My thoughts are with you.

Good to hear mate, hope the weather doesn't cause your area any grief if the heat is coming that way i mean

[1TUFFUTE]

Originally Posted by Trejo

Just a call out to Madaya n SYZ , hope all well, I'm having a shocker couple of days after replacing both front hub assemblies and of course getting up off the ground every 15 mins or so n having to wash hands again n go tend to the yelling coming from the lounge room, over the top of 3 screaming tvs mind you, to tend to the gerries. It wears me thin especially if i attempt to do anything other than my caring duties, as my new meds do their job and allow me to focus on a chore, but to finish what i started is a chore in itself with their needs being first priority and ... blah blah blah life blah beam me up scotty, this planet sucks, huh! Keep well all

Serious thought.....tried ear muffs or earbuds to help the sanity, even if only for 5mins?
Suggested this to a friend with a crazy loud new Baby......she thought I was joking....a week later, and it didn't take her long to adapt the usage of the ear buds so she could still use them safely and do what she needed to get done.......just a thought!
If you allready use them.....try two pairs.....

[SYZ]

Originally Posted by 1TUFFUTE

Serious thought.....tried ear muffs or earbuds to help the sanity, even if only for 5 mins? [...]

Great suggestion for Trejo.

I use these babies for my hyper-vigilance...



I wear them every night (or day!) so's I can sleep with less interruptions, and I also wear them during my more stressful days—neighbours' lawnmowers, dogs, parties, motor bikes etc. They have a sound attenuation rating 29.0 dB which means—for example—you shouldn't hear someone whispering 1m away from you.

I buy 'em by the box of 200 for around $55... (chemists want 99¢ per pair!)

[Tui2]

[QUOTE=1TUFFUTE;5600900]Serious thought.....tried ear muffs or earbuds to help the sanity, even if only for 5mins?
Suggested this to a friend with a crazy loud new Baby......she thought I was joking....a week later, and it didn't take her long to adapt the usage of the ear buds so she could still use them safely and do what she needed to get done.......just a thought!
If up there for thinking, down there for dancing, you said IT, and i forgot about that part of my life when my son was born (20years ago) till up to around 10 years ago, i swore by ear plugs if things got out of hand, by that i mean my overreaction to everyday stuff, like neighbour having party .. how dare he enjoy life, or my baby crying for a minute, how dare he have wind, or the dog just wont eat his dinner, how dare i cause so much distress and confusion as to why? Thanks to a midwife at the time suggesting headphones and calm sounds whilst i cradle n comfort my baby son through the tough times.. so much so that i had to swap to earplugs when it came time to sleep, something i had to wean/ween? off as any sound after that and i couldn't sleep. But you are ABSOLUTE in that suggestion. Different occasions will suit individual applications. I personally went to the local safety-work gear supplier and bought the really soft yellow n pink/green stripe ear plugs. .. the ones with the pinched ends, as they were less painful after too long of a sleep.

[SYZ]

Originally Posted by Trejo

[...] my overreaction to everyday stuff, like neighbour having party... how dare he enjoy life

This is also one of my issues. It manifests itself within me as jealousy, which then leads to my anger at them having fun... when poor ol' me can't. And that's the sort of time I stick my earplugs in. Pure escapism.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by SYZ

This is also one of my issues. It manifests itself within me as jealousy, which then leads to my anger at them having fun... when poor ol' me can't. And that's the sort of time I stick my earplugs in. Pure escapism.

I HEAR you

[superyob]

Trejo and Syz, you sound like you have a nasty affliction. How did it start?

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by superyob

Trejo and Syz, you sound like you have a nasty affliction. How did it start?

I suffered abuse as a ADHD child which no one heard of .. of course and turned into BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, a title now proven incorrect but can't seemed to be retitled by the 'EXPERTS'. Very overlapping disorder into bipolar, psychopathy, AdultADHD, and i suffer Psychosis if i stray off the Godly path, which, touch wood, i haven't for quite a while since my new psychiatrist and his med trials have been a long awaited step forward but it will always be a lonely one, 1 marriage and an 8year engagement destoyed because of, and unless the next lady i meet is an actual angel,well. Actually if she was THAT good of a person to look beyond my disorder and chose to fight it with me, i think after nead 50years i can honestly say that i would not put them through it.

[Tui2]

Please read if you would like a glimpse into my world, our world of BPD

[1TUFFUTE]

I havnt read that particular book ^^^^, but being a bit of a psychology student/nut....BPD comes up quite often in the stuff I read! In my eyes it's horrendous what it does to an individual, as it can't simply be quick fixed by drugs,(they can help). But it's a far more complex 'disorder' that demands support and understanding from any people involved, esspescialy family! My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with this types of rubbish, it truely does!!!

[ford man xf]

Trejo what would happen if say there were two people near your house arguing, do you have to confront them for the anxiety to go away? If you try and resist the urges to go and see what is happening what normally would happen with you and your state of mind?

[ford man xf]

This is a good read:

Think yourself well

Cognitive behavioural therapy has been called a miracle cure for everything from fear of public speaking to depression. Liz Porter reports.

Jillian Cowan regularly assigns her clients eccentric little tasks. One client had an anxiety that was so crippling that she had difficulty asking a shop assistant for help, and would stay home rather than speak up in a work meeting. Cowan asked her to go to the supermarket with odd socks on, and to ask a stranger the time when she was wearing a watch on her own wrist.

Later on in her therapy, the woman was ready for a more advanced exercise in inviting lowlevel disapproval. That time the therapist asked her to go down to her local park, put a banana on the end of a leash, and take it for a walk.

These "shame-attacking" or "risk-taking" exercises are "behavioural" techniques that are part of the way Cowan practises cognitive behaviour therapy. An increasingly popular treatment widely used by psychologists and psychiatrists in both public hospitals and private practice, cognitive behaviour therapy (or CBT) is based on the idea that feelings of anxiety or depression can be caused by negative or distorted thoughts about ourselves and the world. Anxious people believe they are in more danger than they actually are. Depressed people tend to have highly negative views of their own circumstances. Identify and change those thoughts, the theory goes, and you can change the way you feel and act.

Cognitive behaviour therapy is used to treat depression, anxiety, bulimia, obsessive compulsive disorder, anger management, post-traumatic stress, sexual dysfunction, problem gambling and even psychotic disorders, where it is used to help sufferers cope with their delusions. Its fans like it because it is a relatively "quick" therapy, with the average client needing between 10 and 20 sessions.

According to Professor Bruce Singh, head of Melbourne University's Department of Psychiatry, CBT is a treatment initially used by psychologists but now increasingly favoured by psychiatrists.

"You can see what it's trying to do. It is shorter, more focused and deals with the actual problem, as opposed to psychotherapy which is often about more complex relationships with things in the past."

Dr Andrew Lewis, a psychoanalyst and lecturer in psychotherapy at the school of behavioural and social sciences at Ballarat University, describes CBT as a very "handbook"-based treatment. "It is easy to train people in it and it has efficacy.

But there is debate about whether it deals with the whole personality or the person in their whole environment. It can be limited in its understanding and has limitations in more complex sorts of cases."


Psychiatrist Dr George Halasz , an honorary senior lecturer in the Department of Psychological Medicine at Monash Medical Centre, slams CBT as a "quick-fix" treatment for an era that worships the bottom line.

"CBT synchronises exactly with a culture that doesn't want to look at complexity, depth or the developmental dimensions of human suffering.

Most treatments take under three months; it suits health policy makers who want to get something done statistically."

CBT was developed in the 1960s by University of Pennsylvania psychiatrist Dr Aaron Beck, who was influenced by the 1950s work of New York-based psychologist Dr Albert Ellis, a former psychoanalyst who concluded that his patients recovered more quickly when they started thinking "rationally" about themselves and their problems. CBT has been in use in Australia for around 20 years, but has become particularly popular since the early '90s.

Jillian Cowan, a psychologist for 25 years, has been practising CBT for more than a decade, treating people with depression, sexual problems and anxiety, including phobias about heights or confined space triggered by trips across the West Gate Bridge or through the Burnley tunnel.

The first step in the therapy, she explains, is to identify the thought processes swirling beneath a client's unhappiness.

"We think a thousand things at once, and while people recognise the emotions (behind their anxiety) and the gut-wrenching feeling in their tummy, catching the actual thoughts can be quite tricky."

Eventually the psychologist uncovers a whole chain of negatives that might begin with "People are looking at me, they're thinking I'm fat, I don't articulate my ideas well, I'm not intelligent" and conclude with "They don't approve of me", "I'm worthless if I don't have their approval" or "I'm worthless if I make a mistake in public".

The odd-sock wearing and the banana-walking, she explains, are a "safe" way of getting clients to test their thinking against reality. Walking a banana in the park might earn the client some odd, disapproving looks. But there will be no consequences to her life.

At 6pm the day's last client, a trainee concert pianist, is due to arrive for a session in Cowan's velvet-curtained Camberwell consulting room, furnished entirely in soothing shades of green. In her mid-20s, the pianist has been playing music since the age of three, and performing in front of an audience since she was a child. Now she is tormented by a whole range of anxieties, including a fear of performance and acute self-consciousness about her weight.

Tonight is the young woman's sixth session, but she has already made progress in her battle with her belief that people are looking at her and not liking what they see.

Initially she would arrive for treatment hiding her body under vast loose garments. Today she's wearing a T-shirt. Recently she dropped some change on the tram - and picked it up. "I usually don't," she says. "I always fumble around and can't do things gracefully, and there's blubber hanging out... But then I thought �I'll never see these people again' and I did it."

The conversation turns to her upcoming examination, which will involve playing in front of a panel of assessors, and her concerns about getting nervous and forgetting the music (usually played from memory).

"Do you feel anxious, just thinking about it now?" the therapist asks.

"I've been having dreams about performing," the pianist replies. "It's usually a competition. In the dream, I can't play anything. Usually I'm naked as well."

Cowan gets her to rank the anxiety she is now feeling on a scale of one to 10 (it's an eight), and asks her to imagine she is going in for her assessment now.

"What are your thoughts?" she asks.

"There's a lot of panic about memory," the young woman replies. "I'm sure if I asked to play with a score in front of me, they'd agree. But I'd feel I haven't done my job. Even though I've practised it plenty, I just can't remember the music."

"And if you don't know what you're playing?" The therapist's question hangs in the air.

"I'll fail," the young woman says.

"And if you fail, what will that mean?" "I can't play the piano?"

"And if you can't play the piano?"

The young woman looks pained. "There's a bigger sense of failure."

The therapist leans forward.

"So... I can't play, I'm a failure?" she suggests.

The young pianist looks stricken. "If I don't succeed with this, it's just too awful."

Cowan keeps up the questions, teasing out the exact implications of this last thought. "Too awful", the young pianist says, means she wouldn't want to face anybody. She would feel "like a fraud" , a "lesser person".

"If people think less of me, then I am a lesser person," she declares.

At this point the therapist appears to change tack, but it is soon apparent that she is just taking another path back to the core issue. "How about some of the other things?" she asks. "How have you been at walking down the street?"

"OK," the young woman concedes. "But if I'm going out to buy food I'm afraid people are going to be looking at what I'm buying and thinking I shouldn't be, because I'm too fat." "Again, is that �thinking less of me'?" Cowan asks.

"Thinking I'm a pig,' the pianist says. "So, if they think I'm a pig, that means I am a pig?" the therapist asks.

Cowan continues to challenge the assumptions about other people that underpin the young woman's anxiety. Why do other people's opinions matter to her? Who elected them judge and jury on her competence? The pianist does a quick run-through of all the people in her life whose disapproval she fears, from her mother down to the people on the tram.

"In the absence of evidence," the therapist says gently,"you just know people are thinking badly of you. If your music assessor thinks badly of you, that is a rational concern. So let's stick to insignificant people. Can you get your head around the idea that if someone doesn't like you, that's OK?"

The pianist nods, hesitantly. After a few more minutes convincing, she agrees that, in the next week, she will make her first attempt at intentionally risking the disapproval of a stranger.

She will ask a man walking his dog a question about its breed. First she will "anticipate the anxiety", summon all her usual thoughts about the man's low opinion of her, dispute or challenge them, (which should reduce her level of anxiety). And then do the task.

"What would you think to make it feel less bad?" Cowan asks.

"That it really doesn't matter," the pianist says.

"Do you believe that?" the therapist asks. "Yes," the young woman replies.

Jillian Cowan is confident that reducing the young woman's self-consciousness will ultimately help her fear of concert performance. "When you're highly anxious, your ability to encode and retrieve memories is affected. When her anxiety lessens, her recall will improve."

Source: http://www.theage.com.au/articles/20...027376765.html

[castellan]

Does anyone know why people suffer from depression or anxiety and ADHD.

Did all have it early from a kid or did it just come about at some time in your life.

My mum has had bad anxiety problems from about 60yo, I think it's got to do with being a little kid in WW2 and having the whole City blown up and walking over dead people everywhere and seeing body's floating down the river and all the rest.

Worry brings it all on and if she is sick.

We have had a hell of a time with her with it, when my dad was sick for a year in and out of Hospital before he died, she could not be left on her own.
She is just coming out of it in the last month and now will go talk to other people at the old peoples home, she would not talk to anyone or want to know them at all before.
One has to be carful on what you say to her, or she gets it all wrong and even then gets it all wrong, telling others and me just a load of half truth and the rest of some rubbish she has dreamed up.

[damo76]

Well i have suffered depression off and on most of my adult life.

I got my testosterone tested from the doctor and guess what, its very low.
Low testosterone can cause heaps of things like low self-esteem, being reserved, DEPRESSION, lack of confidence.
If you have these go get it tested.

Otherwise you have to change or fix whats making you depressed in life.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by 1TUFFUTE

I havnt read that particular book ^^^^, but being a bit of a psychology student/nut....BPD comes up quite often in the stuff I read! In my eyes it's horrendous what it does to an individual, as it can't simply be quick fixed by drugs,(they can help). But it's a far more complex 'disorder' that demands support and understanding from any people involved, esspescialy family! My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with this types of rubbish, it truely does!!!

Thanks man, means a lot to hear that... cause no one really understands it and when you be honest and explain it, usually won't see them again or they keep their distance.
The last 8years i was with my early 20s love of my life.. after 20years apart.. thought i was set and had support...no ,,, her family got scared for our grandkids and now I've lost them all, not even a text anymore, but heart is pretty cold and moves on quick (psychopathology) but my mind (BPD) wants to go over it again n again blaming, hating, plotting ..then understanding, pitying and apologising to not giving a flying fox about any one till its hearts turn to have a go at fooling my brain that we can do it this time, Huh! I fart in your general direction you english ka-nig-het, with my OUTRAAAGEOUS accent.
See what i mean

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by ford man xf

Trejo what would happen if say there were two people near your house arguing, do you have to confront them for the anxiety to go away? If you try and resist the urges to go and see what is happening what normally would happen with you and your state of mind?

wow! I Who would of thought my Ford would bring me here, to this point after 50years where people actually show concern and interest, giving me a piece of ... i don't know how to put it.. earthling acceptance.??.. but that question is so so close to the major debilitating factor for my anti socialism, and to honestly answer... i can't say i know til it's time once again to disassociate with myself as i step out of my body , to the top left above my head, and watch on. Latest example. . I took my old man to the dental clinic and as he was coming out i was over hearing patients in waiting room discuss a doctor and his practices name and address.. i knew this as he was my doctor. now i always wait outside waiting rooms, as it's always best for everyone if I do, and even though my post stroke drag footed 85 yo father is coming towards me, i couldn't wait to push past him and rush with my loud voice and say " oh for Christ's sake, its e... family med.. ka.... road e....! and then storm back past my old man and wait for him to finally make it to the car whilst i breath and prepare for the drive home. Do with that what you will, cause i still never cease to be dumbfounded by the elusive triggers

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by castellan

Does anyone know why people suffer from depression or anxiety and ADHD.

Did all have it early from a kid or did it just come about at some time in your life.

My mum has had bad anxiety problems from about 60yo, I think it's got to do with being a little kid in WW2 and having the whole City blown up and walking over dead people everywhere and seeing body's floating down the river and all the rest.

Worry brings it all on and if she is sick.

We have had a hell of a time with her with it, when my dad was sick for a year in and out of Hospital before he died, she could not be left on her own.
She is just coming out of it in the last month and now will go talk to other people at the old peoples home, she would not talk to anyone or want to know them at all before.
One has to be carful on what you say to her, or she gets it all wrong and even then gets it all wrong, telling others and me just a load of half truth and the rest of some rubbish she has dreamed up.

yep rubbish and made up memories, thats what seems to be my childhood, all due to my MOTHER over protective insecure gambling alcoholic that let me sit on the roof of my house til nightfall staring in the direction of the RSL waiting for her to get home. No one liked coming near my house as she made sure that only she could influence/control my life and let me decide who my friends should be and etc. Making me lie from well.. i can remember anything before i was 5yo, so along time to write all the lies into a script for life. And here i am caring for the old.. f.... waiting for her death. Only the good die young they say.. polio..post polio syndrome, double mastectomy, lymphoma, abdominal aortic aneurysm, stroke, 3 heart attacks and she still insults, judges and demeans all who do for her. Good on ya mum, us 3 kids love you sooooo much, atleast my sisters stay away and avoid anymore.
you see there are too many things that factor into why some people just can't function, your mum probably (like most from that era) can't own up to of had been human in growing up n making mistakes, and forgiving themselves before others do, i bestow this upon my son to no end, to err is human to forgive is up to you and the circumstances, , to accept forgiveness is for you to err again.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by damo76

Well i have suffered depression off and on most of my adult life.

I got my testosterone tested from the doctor and guess what, its very low.
Low testosterone can cause heaps of things like low self-esteem, being reserved, DEPRESSION, lack of confidence.
If you have these go get it tested.

Otherwise you have to change or fix whats making you depressed in life.

no idea how or if, til the time comes and then who has the correct tools to do so.
i can council till the end of my time ,but to take heed and apply to myself doesn't stick, another common factor of BPD, i laugh now,, just sit back and laugh at the days actions and reactions.

[1TUFFUTE]

Originally Posted by Trejo

Thanks man, means a lot to hear that... cause no one really understands it and when you be honest and explain it, usually won't see them again or they keep their distance.
The last 8years i was with my early 20s love of my life.. after 20years apart.. thought i was set and had support...no ,,, her family got scared for our grandkids and now I've lost them all, not even a text anymore, but heart is pretty cold and moves on quick (psychopathology) but my mind (BPD) wants to go over it again n again blaming, hating, plotting ..then understanding, pitying and apologising to not giving a flying fox about any one till its hearts turn to have a go at fooling my brain that we can do it this time, Huh! I fart in your general direction you english ka-nig-het, with my OUTRAAAGEOUS accent.
See what i mean

Mate family can be your crux.....or a lifesaver. My wife is amazing at understanding/looking after me. So is the rest of my side of the family actually! But her side is a diff story! Yesterday I mustered the courage (physically)to leave the house and go to a family barbi.(her side of family). 20 mins in and as luck would have it my nerves issue went bang, and I spent the next 1/2 hr writhing in horrendous pain on the floor. By the time I regained my senses everyone had gone. I found out later they were all useless, she had to scream at them to get help. Zero compassion shown and they all ended up making lame excuses to leave despite only being there an hr! (I could explain the events better but trust me it was pretty pathetic for family). I've had better help on worksites and the side of the highway from strangers, when I first started getting my nerve pains. And let's not forget I've had this for many years and they're all fully aware. Just shows that not all family can be relied on when it gets tough hey. For me personally I think I'm extremely lucky I don't suffer from additional mental issues like some of you guys suffer from. My pain may be rediculous, but it goes away! Mental issues are forever in your head and effect every single thought and action you make!
I think it's Sooo important no matter what your issue, to surround yourself with only those who care......otherwise they'll drag you down. But hey, that's easier to say then do when talking about family
I'll say it again, my life moto.....GET A PUPPY

[Falcman0o7]

Originally Posted by raised by monkeys

Be careful of being prescribed meds as a first point of call.

YES, Been on aropax for 19 years :( Can't get off them! Miss a day and I'm on another planet

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by 1TUFFUTE

Mate family can be your crux.....or a lifesaver. My wife is amazing at understanding/looking after me. So is the rest of my side of the family actually! But her side is a diff story! Yesterday I mustered the courage (physically)to leave the house and go to a family barbi.(her side of family). 20 mins in and as luck would have it my nerves issue went bang, and I spent the next 1/2 hr writhing in horrendous pain on the floor. By the time I regained my senses everyone had gone. I found out later they were all useless, she had to scream at them to get help. Zero compassion shown and they all ended up making lame excuses to leave despite only being there an hr! (I could explain the events better but trust me it was pretty pathetic for family). I've had better help on worksites and the side of the highway from strangers, when I first started getting my nerve pains. And let's not forget I've had this for many years and they're all fully aware. Just shows that not all family can be relied on when it gets tough hey. For me personally I think I'm extremely lucky I don't suffer from additional mental issues like some of you guys suffer from. My pain may be rediculous, but it goes away! Mental issues are forever in your head and effect every single thought and action you make!
I think it's Sooo important no matter what your issue, to surround yourself with only those who care......otherwise they'll drag you down. But hey, that's easier to say then do when talking about family
I'll say it again, my life moto.....GET A PUPPY

my saviour

[SYZ]

Originally Posted by superyob

Trejo and Syz, you sound like you have a nasty affliction. How did it start?

Mine first started with ongoing workplace "harassments" that weren't—20 years ago—officially classified as harassment by the governmental agencies. I don't really wanna detail them (for obvious reasons) other than to say I couldn't get any help or ongoing support from the company themselves, and which basically forced me out of the job. My mild (and previously easily controllable) depression was exacerbated by this, and over a period of few years progressed into anxiety, hypervigilance, and N-24 sleep pattern—despite intervention from several psychiatrists and psychologists.

[SYZ]

Originally Posted by ford man xf

Trejo what would happen if say there were two people near your house arguing, do you have to confront them for the anxiety to go away? If you try and resist the urges to go and see what is happening what normally would happen with you and your state of mind?

For me, confrontation would be out of the question. My reaction? Anger-> frustration-> withdrawal-> tears-> shutdown. In extreme cases I've had panic attacks—which is a whole other ball game!

[Grega]

mine would have started in my late single digits as well. anxiety anyway, the depression is part and parcel of that. the pinnacle for me (aside from being constantly bullied at school thereafter and never standing up for myself) would have been being tied up with electrical extension cable and having a shotgun pointed at my face by my so called 'friends' in primary school. lovely stuff.

[SYZ]

Originally Posted by 1TUFFUTE

For me personally I think I'm extremely lucky I don't suffer from additional mental issues like some of you guys suffer from. My pain may be ridiculous, but it goes away! Mental issues are forever in your head and effect every single thought and action you make! [...]

Please don't downgrade the very real, debilitating physical effects that pain can have on you mate. It's funny (well, not really) but from my perspective, the agonising pain you suffer from makes my irregular mental illness sound a bit "lightweight". I guess at the end of the day, we all cope as best we can given the tools at our disposal—be they family, friends, doctors, or medication. Let's just hope we have a full tool kit to hand when the brown stuff hits the fan.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by SYZ

For me, confrontation would be out of the question. My reaction? Anger-> frustration-> withdrawal-> tears-> shutdown. In extreme cases I've had panic attacks—which is a whole other ball game!

Yes it certainly isn't a good idea to endure confrontation for me due to
1. nothing good comes out of violence, obviously.
2. But with me, because I was such a gentle and placid child , after years of enduring bullying and constant parental demands to turn the other cheek, that when in my late teens i was still getting picked out of a crowd in pubs n clubs to be challenged to a fight, my mind finally snapped. Thats when i discovered i was a lot stronger and sadistically violent than anyone or thing i had endured prior, there were/are no rules or morals if you forced me to physically defend myself, as i have no control after i disassociate from reality. So that began my anti socialising by avoiding alcohol induced events, didn't leave much besides church, but it made me feel uncomfortable,.. the singing of hymns within my 'hypocritical parental'' catholic upbringing and then with the rocking evangelical born again meetings, there was the healing by laying on of hands and need to speak in tongues that just made me feel like... how do i put it... like it was insulting my intelligence, taking goodness too far, this is just how i feel. My faith can't out way my intelligence, even for the better good of me socialising with, it most cases, genuinely good hearted caring supportive people. So i again fight depression and isolate myself from the anxiety that comes with the days recollections of what i may have did or said that was inappropriate this time. Ok this session's time is up, later and again thanks for all your support to our cause.

[castellan]

Originally Posted by Trejo

Yes it certainly isn't a good idea to endure confrontation for me due to
1. nothing good comes out of violence, obviously.
2. But with me, because I was such a gentle and placid child , after years of enduring bullying and constant parental demands to turn the other cheek, that when in my late teens i was still getting picked out of a crowd in pubs n clubs to be challenged to a fight, my mind finally snapped. Thats when i discovered i was a lot stronger and sadistically violent than anyone or thing i had endured prior, there were/are no rules or morals if you forced me to physically defend myself, as i have no control after i disassociate from reality. So that began my anti socialising by avoiding alcohol induced events, didn't leave much besides church, but it made me feel uncomfortable,.. the singing of hymns within my 'hypocritical parental'' catholic upbringing and then with the rocking evangelical born again meetings, there was the healing by laying on of hands and need to speak in tongues that just made me feel like... how do i put it... like it was insulting my intelligence, taking goodness too far, this is just how i feel. My faith can't out way my intelligence, even for the better good of me socialising with, it most cases, genuinely good hearted caring supportive people. So i again fight depression and isolate myself from the anxiety that comes with the days recollections of what i may have did or said that was inappropriate this time. Ok this session's time is up, later and again thanks for all your support to our cause.

I don't know, I had a lot of people want to bash me up when I went to a new school in grade 3, it would be on everyday like, I never even got to say a word to anyone and I was attacked full on, when I went down stairs to lunch by a mob of about 50 and I don't know why even to this day they did such a thing, maybe it was because I had to wear a school uniform and all the others did not.
My mum and dad could not care less that we were the only ones that had a school uniform they said we don't care at all what your problem is, they payed for them so you will just have to put up with it and could not care less who of how many people attacked you.
I was brought up in a family that all were fully involved in Judo, so no one could bash me up at school, but I was nice to people and did not try to hurt them.
Then I got into Religion, it was only protestant worldly crap but then I came to the RCC and understood what was truly what, sadly most of them don't have a clue and waffle on and on about just rubbish.
I never could give a toss what people said to me as it never bothered me at all what a fool said.

[1TUFFUTE]

Originally Posted by SYZ

Please don't downgrade the very real, debilitating physical effects that pain can have on you mate. It's funny (well, not really) but from my perspective, the agonising pain you suffer from makes my irregular mental illness sound a bit "lightweight". I guess at the end of the day, we all cope as best we can given the tools at our disposal—be they family, friends, doctors, or medication. Let's just hope we have a full tool kit to hand when the brown stuff hits the fan.

Yeah Taa bud, I don't mean to downplay my pain, that's not fair. ..it's just that I've seen what it (depression,mental issues) can do to even my wife. She used to be very depressed, and to this day anxious about evvvverything. But her depression disappeared weirdly enough now that she's busy as hell baby sitting me.
Most of the psychologists and various specialists I've seen are blown away with the way I handle my situation(don't mean to be cocky). They all feel I should be dead by now, for lack of better words! I think it's simply survival instinct..maybe.
Maybe it's us sympathetic people that just don't like to see people messed up, therefore we think what we got is easier! Who knows, I'm confused now...just got outa bed