AFF Dating System...

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by Sagerian

Don't worry, guys can do that too. One in particular that I won't be talking to again. :\

I sympathise, and I'd send some of the grog I'm drinking down the internet if I could.

Yeah, and like the guys say that get burned by their girls, I don't need that crud. I'll just spend more time and money on my car. :
(which was actually what started the whole fight in the first place)

Ah well. Good riddance to bad rubbish I say!! :

[DivHunter]

Originally Posted by Feathers

I'll just spend more time and money on my car. :

As long as the cost of my IT gear doesn't come up (better include the car audio in that too) e

[DOC]

Originally Posted by BargeEA

i have been told it is because i am too nice, but how can that be! is it true that girls only like the "bad boys"?
i cant believe i am posting this, but hey, no pain no gain as they say! :P

There is nothing wrong in being nice to your partner, but do not confuse being nice with being weak or unable to make decisions when and where needed.

A good relationship is based on trust, respect and being the best of friends, being able to forgive each other when things go wrong, and they will from time to time.

Allowing your partner to live thier life the way they want without restricting them and putting more into your relationship than you take out.

I believe the image of your nice guy status is a more self confidence issue than a nice issue and perhaps without worrying about the girls go and do something that is going to strech your confidence by doing something that you have always been wanting to do but held back because you have felt a little scared of.

Both parties male or female like thier partner to have confiedence and self esteem. I believe if you work on these parts when it comes time to chat with the next girl it will all fall into place for you without even trying or at least help.

Having a clear vision and purpose moving forward will also help, once again without worrying about the girls, work out what it you want to acheive in life, set your goals and work towards it, this can only enhance your self confidence as above but would clearly show any potential partner that you have focus and direction and are confident with your decsion making.

A good woman ( or partner ) would need to see if they were to make a decision in regards getting together that there was a secure future ahead for both.

In finding your strenghts and direction it could be you would also find the right partner for yourself, and remember the mind is very powerful, so remain positive and all will be well.

What would i know anyway?
I met my wife when she was in first year high school & i was in 3rd year high ( wore a tight low cut dress that got my attention and goodness knows what she saw in me but ) we have been toghether since ( 20 + years ) are best friends have 2 daughters, and only have 1 rule in our house as follows.

No one is the Boss and there are no Rules

Pete

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by Fairmont99

As long as the cost of my IT gear doesn't come up (better include the car audio in that too) e

Yeah but you're a professional geek. You really need to learn to claim more of it back on tax or something.
We do have to start working on that white picket fence thugh....

[Shonky]

Originally Posted by Yummy Mummy

Hey, I resemble that comment!!

I think you mean resent.... LOL!

[Perana]

I thought a Black Picket Fence (tm) would be more suited :P

[Feathers]

Oh not you too.

[ClassicAU]

wow guys, thanks for the words of wisdom! i didnt really expect it to be that bad! its a shame that it is though, i just cant figure out the whole "wild boy" thing. it sounds to me like pure egotism to me, and who wants someone like that? i am just upset that thoes kind of girls make up the majority, and the rest are all taken! so i reccon i will be at least 22 before i have my first serious girlfriend unfortunatly.
i try to act myself, but it doesnt seem to go anywhere, which just ends up in me trying to hard and being someone that i am not. then there is the whole nervous babbling thing, but i wont even start on that!
anyway, i am thinking of taking a mates advice and just not caring about it anymore. the less i think about it, the happier i will be i guess. its sad that it has come to this though. :

[Perana]

Muahahahhahaha

Shane has taught me well

BTW: I dont know how you two survive being apart so long... I couldnt !

[Feathers]

Why do you think we practically LIVE online??

[Perana]

LOL yes that does help !..... a lot !

I was very lucky that things happened a lot easier as far as time off to see each other

[ClassicAU]

oh, and as for the whole confidence thing. i have no quarms about talking to people, talk the ear off a donkey i could! its just that i dont really feel comfortable in telling someone what to do, if that what it has to come to. i guess i am just too boring! :P

[XRQTOR]

Originally Posted by DOC

There is nothing wrong in being nice to your partner, but do not confuse being nice with being weak or unable to make decisions when and where needed.

A good relationship is based on trust, respect and being the best of friends, being able to forgive each other when things go wrong, and they will from time to time.

Allowing your partner to live thier life the way they want without restricting them and putting more into your relationship than you take out.

I believe the image of your nice guy status is a more self confidence issue than a nice issue and perhaps without worrying about the girls go and do something that is going to strech your confidence by doing something that you have always been wanting to do but held back because you have felt a little scared of.

Both parties male or female like thier partner to have confiedence and self esteem. I believe if you work on these parts when it comes time to chat with the next girl it will all fall into place for you without even trying or at least help.

Having a clear vision and purpose moving forward will also help, once again without worrying about the girls, work out what it you want to acheive in life, set your goals and work towards it, this can only enhance your self confidence as above but would clearly show any potential partner that you have focus and direction and are confident with your decsion making.

A good woman ( or partner ) would need to see if they were to make a decision in regards getting together that there was a secure future ahead for both.

In finding your strenghts and direction it could be you would also find the right partner for yourself, and remember the mind is very powerful, so remain positive and all will be well.

What would i know anyway?
I met my wife when she was in first year high school & i was in 3rd year high ( wore a tight low cut dress that got my attention and goodness knows what she saw in me but ) we have been toghether since ( 20 + years ) are best friends have 2 daughters, and only have 1 rule in our house as follows.

No one is the Boss and there are no Rules

Pete

How old are your daughter's Doc........................: .

[xdc351]

Some damn good advice there Pete.

Agree totally.

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by Perana XR8

LOL yes that does help !..... a lot !

I was very lucky that things happened a lot easier as far as time off to see each other

Yeah. I have 462 hours holidays, but no one trained to fill in for me.
Plus I have the added burden of being an only child. It doesn't matter how many times my parents are told I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and they should let go, they just don't get it.

[Perana]

Yeah its BS about your holidays..

Being an only child as well i know what that is like too ! But being a only Girl would be so much worse i would say

[DOC]

Originally Posted by XRQTOR

How old are your daughter's Doc........................: .

17 and 12 and both great girls love em madly as any dad would love thier kids

BargeEA wow guys, thanks for the words of wisdom! i didnt really expect it to be that bad! its a shame that it is though, i just cant figure out the whole "wild boy" thing
its sad that it has come to this though

Buddy must have written something wrong or you have it wrong, there's nothing bad, you had the balls to post up here you plight and thats positive, and what wild boy thing ? thats nothing to do with confidence or having diection, and as for it being sad, the only sad thing is if you dont stop feelin sorry for yourself and get up of the chair and say i can do this.

Pete

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by Perana XR8

Yeah its BS about your holidays..

Being an only child as well i know what that is like too ! But being a only Girl would be so much worse i would say

Yep. Never allowed to sleepovers, not allowed out past 1am. (FFS, I'm 22!!)
I was out basically all night for NYE. Got home about 7am. Got BLASTED for it.
That was after the 4 phone calls during the night asking where I was and when I was coming home.
Plus trying to tell my mum and dad that their "little girl" wants to move states to be with her man isn't really working so far. :

[Perana]

Damn you have got it hard! I Hope they decide that your old enough to make your own decisions soon... so you can start work on that Black Picket Fence (tm) :P

[ClassicAU]

Originally Posted by DOC

17 and 12 and both great girls love em madly as any dad would love thier kids



Buddy must have written something wrong or you have it wrong, there's nothing bad, you had the balls to post up here you plight and thats positive, and what wild boy thing ? thats nothing to do with confidence or having diection, and as for it being sad, the only sad thing is if you dont stop feelin sorry for yourself and get up of the chair and say i can do this.

Pete

Well, the bad thing I was referring to was the fact that so many other guys know what I mean or have actually experienced it! And the sad thing is that I had to even think like this because most girls are that image conscious that they wont go for a nice guy just cos it doesn’t look good!
I have been there and done that with feeling sorry for myself, I know that gets me nowhere even faster! I just feel bad that its so hard to find a down to earth, real honest girl. But I you are right, I must not be looking hard enough

[Kapn_Kiwi]

Originally Posted by BargeEA

i have been told it is because i am too nice, but how can that be! is it true that girls only like the "bad boys"?

I think I know just the song for you:
Deja Voodoo's chillingly true "Your boyfriend sucks"

Your boyfriends sucks why don't you go out with me
that guys a dick and you are so sexy.
ill buy you beers until you agree
your boyfriend sucks
why not go out with me

[bindi]

Originally Posted by Feathers

Yep. Never allowed to sleepovers, not allowed out past 1am. (FFS, I'm 22!!)

Ok well you need to move out of home!

I have a friend who is 23 and still living at home. She's never even had a boyfriend and she is the sweetest, loveliest girl. But her parents boss her around like she's 10.

They have decided that she has to keep doing her law degree because her music doesn't matter as much as earning a good living. So she does law, because she is certainly bright enough but she is not interested in being a lawyer etc.

It's not their life. Who the hell do they think they are, living the life they wanted to have through their daughter?!

She is the most talented violinist I have ever heard (although Yngwie Malmsteen playing Paganinni on the guitar beats her lmfao).

Such a waste. And I have told her all of this stuff, she gets it. But she goes home and they treat her like crap and walk all over her and she just takes it... her choice I guess, not much I can do.

Anyway, time for this: :

[ClassicAU]

oh yeah, i know exactly how she feels about the parents! my folks are always objecting to me crashing around at someones place. its the worst. and forget about me bringing someone home! i would love to move out, but there is always the problem about funds, just never seems to be enough.

but i was also thinking of something else as well. i think one of my other obstacles is the fact that i am not the smallest guy in the world. being a big bloke hasnt helped me at all! maybe its just me looking for another excuse, or do most girls really care that much about how a bloke looks?

[bindi]

Originally Posted by BargeEA

but i was also thinking of something else as well. i think one of my other obstacles is the fact that i am not the smallest guy in the world. being a big bloke hasnt helped me at all! maybe its just me looking for another excuse, or do most girls really care that much about how a bloke looks?

Yes it does seem to matter, to some vapid vacant moronic women who you wouldn't want to touch with a 10ft pole

In reality, most women don't care as long as you are happy, loving, caring and kind.

If you have a good sense of humour you can get any woman, believe me. My husband is nice enough to look at, just overweight. We go out, he makes women laugh, they fall in lust. I see it happen right in front of my eyes and I find it fascinating

[Sagerian]

A mate of mine is, well he's not huge, but he's not exactly in shape. He has this increadible ability to make people smile/laugh. He does well enough with the ladies.

[Au2falcons]

BargeEA, some women would not consider a man who isn't slim, and to those women is say take a look inside, because those guys generally have alot to offer in the areas which are most important, eg. care, thought, love, intelligence etc. Don't go judging a book by it's cover. I'm no male model, I'm a bit overweight, and honestly don't believe that I am very attractive, however two lovely ladies on this forum have said otherwise and so did my ex. girlfriend. You need to be comfortable with who you are firstly, I think women are attracted to someone who is cofident about themselves! It's hard to do, i know, i haven't mastered it yet.

As for the parents thing, I've come to learn that the majority of parents are the same. I'm almost 23, what you would call a good boy, never been in trouble with the law, high achiever and I now own my own professional business which employs 8 people. Guess what, my folks still treat my like i'm ten, they will never change, because thats what parents do. It's extremely frustrating, especially when i have 8 emloyees who are much older than me (oldest is 60) who respect my judgements, yet my own folks don't. When you move out of home it will subside though they won't stop trying (seen that through my brother). I'd move out, though purchasing the business has left me in great debt. so it's on hold for a bit.

Hope it makes you feel like you not alone

Sorry for the long one :

[Sagerian]

Parents will only ever be proud of/respect you when you no longer care about making them proud. Least that's how it was in my household.

[PULLY6]

My parents are pretty cool, having lived with them for 19 years, they've grown quite attached to me! Mum hates the idea of me moving out! I'm so over it though, not allowed to have other people over etc. It sucks.

[XRchic]

In some ways it would be nice to have parents that care so much about you though, you have to admit? Sure it is tiring to have them controlling your lives (or tying to) and fussing etc, but at the end of the day - if it gets that bad, you CAN move out! Might be harder financially, but often independance is worth the cost.

My own mother kicked me out when I was 17 (she busted me with a little baggy of the green stuff). I really think that affected the rest of my life. I had to support myself from that point on. Me and my Mum never really got along anyway, so it was bound to happen. I knew that I had two choices: to remain working in the job I had at the time and be stuck there forever but at least have cash in the short term OR I could try and make something more of my life but suffer in the short term to get it.

Basically, put myself through Uni, did a couple of degrees while working full time. But was hard. I went to uni with other kids who were living at home with their parents, who didnt have to work to get all their expensive trendy gear, whos parents bought and ran their cars for them, gave them an allowance and all that. Those kids never had to scrounge to find money for second hand text books, they never had to balance money for rent and food, they never had to balance a uni timetable with a work roster.... So it was hard. But because I didnt get my qualfications easy, I think I appreciated them more.. since I had to work so hard to earn them!

The major problem was that I could never get financially set up and I am still behind. Most of those kids who went through uni while living with parents did so until they got their first real job. They could then save up for a house and get into it and travel and do things like that. I never did any of that.

I did my last degree as a single parent - I began my law degree with a two year old and had my son halfway through third year and shortly after became a single parent - so I had to work full time, study more than full time and I had a baby and a 4 year old. I think if I had not been kicked out of home so early, I would have made better decisions, had more advantages and been financially better off when I had kids.

I am now nearly 34 and my kids are 11 and nearly 8. I do have a decent job, but I didnt get it until my very late 20s and I didnt start getting paid a decent amount until early 30s. I have only JUST bought my first house - with Eamon of course. I have spent nearly $95K in rent in my life and I know that would have been different if I wasnt kicked out of home so early.

The ironic thing to this is that my brother is nearly 32 and is on the dole, still living with my parents, with a nice, easy, cushy life and he doesnt even give them any of his dole money!

So I think that I would have liked to have parents who cared about me. I would have preferred my Mum to fuss about me because she cared rather than see me on the streets and not give a rats. At the end of the day, living with your parents is a good deal financially and if you want to put a stop to their controlling ways, then you CAN if you really want to. Or you can move out, either way - you have to choose your priorities - money or independance in the short term.... long term financial security or living your own life in the long term... hard choices.

Good luck!

Sorry for the long post.

Jac

[DivHunter]

Originally Posted by Feathers

Yep. Never allowed to sleepovers, not allowed out past 1am. (FFS, I'm 22!!)
I was out basically all night for NYE. Got home about 7am. Got BLASTED for it.
That was after the 4 phone calls during the night asking where I was and when I was coming home.
Plus trying to tell my mum and dad that their "little girl" wants to move states to be with her man isn't really working so far. :

I'll let you have friends over! (as long as they are female and hot) lol :voldar02:

Pretty crappy you got blasted for getting back at 7 am. I stumbled into my Oma's place at 8 that morning :nutsycuck I have pretty much always been able to do what I like, because I'm a good boy :

1st born of 4 and the first grandchild, I rock e