A question to the ladies...

davro_xr6 · 26-07-2006, 11:11 AM

I have had this debate many a time and with many of my other single blokey mates and have had no resolution to the debate - so in reading other threads from a while back with regards to the subject of courting a lady - well how about just getting one to agree to have a drink with you - I will ask this:
**What do single, decent blokes need to do these days to be able to find, AND keep, a decent lady??**

It seems times have changed somewhat from when I was fresh out on the club scene, where the girls wanted the deep and meaningful relationships and the blokes were the bed hoppers - to a complete role reversal. At some point in every man's life, and everyone is different, when he would like the idea of the white picket fence, 3 kids, lovely lady by his side and the 2 Ford V8's in the driveway - no disrespect intended to those of the fairer sex, however one does start to question the worth of it all after a travesty of previous relationships - and I am sure I am not the only one on this site, nor in the world with the same question - so a little insight from the ladies would be more than welcomed I think, not just for me, but all the single boys here...

hppsc · 26-07-2006, 11:13 AM

I think you're right in regards to the role reversal. Although, I still know alot of guys who bed hop more than some of my female friends.

Simply, you've gotta have money, good looks, and be in the right place at the right time. If any one of these attirbutes is missing, the problem escalates 10 fold, and it only gets harder to find and court a priddy lady

davro_xr6 · 26-07-2006, 11:16 AM

Ah THATS where I am going wrong!! I need money - so instead of spending it on improving the car, I spend it on her?? Just doesn't seem right to me - and I've done that in the past, and it sux. Especially after she's squeezed so much out, that you can only afford $10 of fuel to get you to the train station to go to work... :(
Surely money can't influence them that much??

davro_xr6 · 26-07-2006, 11:17 AM

Don't get me wron I'm all for spoiling your special lady, but not to the point you go broke and she doesn't wanna know you till next pay day...

Miss_XR6 · 26-07-2006, 11:28 AM

money doesnt influence me all i want is a nice caring man someone who will listen to me.. lucky for me i like cars just as much as my other half so we dont have problems there

Smoke Pursuit · 26-07-2006, 11:49 AM

Trust me, money wont get you a decent women, it will only get you some scrag thats desperate for cash to be spent on her.

The most decent chick i know (whos taken) puts up with so much crap from her guy, all for nothing it seems. I cannot work relationships or females out...

Melz · 26-07-2006, 11:57 AM

I don't normally reply to these threads but what the hell...

Lets see fellas, its not about the CAR!!! A big v8 or a neat car is not going to always win a girl over (I can't believe i just said that.....). Why some people think its all about the car, and the car will impress a girl has got me amazed. Yes i like a nice, powerful car, but it isn't going to be there when you need emotional support!

Money doesn't help, but it sure doesn't hurt either. Yes us women do like to be spoilt everynow and then!!

But the biggest thing that money can't buy... is to be treated with RESPECT. Not just some play toy that can be chewed up and thrown away, or brought out whenever you feel like it.

Be open and honest, and don't be afraid to approach someone, whats the worst that can happen, they will say no! Not the end of the world. So get some courage and just ask, it is that simple.

davro_xr6 · 26-07-2006, 12:00 PM

I wasn't thinking cars or money would help the cause with a DECENT girl - but like I said in my original post, it just seems to me that most girls you meet out now-a-days are only interested in that - WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LADIES OF THE WORLD!!??

drcook · 26-07-2006, 12:04 PM

this reminds me of the bit in eddie murphy's raw video where she meets the jamaican love god while on holiday, and eddie starts swinging the microphone around.

**Peuty** · 26-07-2006, 12:04 PM

I think you are logged into the wrong site my friend...

Try this....www.relationshipforums.com

davro_xr6 · 26-07-2006, 12:09 PM

Nah not the wrong site - just thought I'd ask here as I am always here anyway...

fiery · 26-07-2006, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peuty

I think you are logged into the wrong site my friend...

Try this....www.relationshipforums.com

And if you weren't a little curious to the content of the thread you wouldn't have opened it.... so you must be curious as you POSTED in it

:

The major problem for both males and females is being able to find that contact to begin with... and then of course chemistry and mutual interests etc etc etc...

Then you come to the major stumbling block of meeting people that aren't sure of what they want blah blah....

:

Melz actually said all that would need to be said really....

XR6Gal · 26-07-2006, 12:20 PM

I don't agree with hppsc's remarks about money. If the person is confident (note: not c0cky), funny, genuine, truthful & treats others with respect, it will go a longer way than any amount of money ever will in my books.

Maybe try one of the online dating sites? At least you know that the girl is looking for friendship/relationship. Or see if your friends girlfriends know someone that you might be able to get set up with. As Melz said, just ask a girl out, if she says no, it's not the end of the world

Cheers
Kristy.

pertuan · 26-07-2006, 05:38 PM

I'm with davro. It seems to me that all the decent girls who are into relationships and actually wanting to be treated with respect and arent materialistic are all gone and taken. Alot (read most) of the girls I meet now are either into bed-hopping, or material things. And as far as the respect thing goes... they all want it, but are in relationships where they get treated like crap but keep bitching about wanting respect.

Is it really that hard in this world we live in now to find a girl that is...
1. Not into expensive things all the time (getting spoilt every now and then is ok)
2. Actually respectable
3. Into some culture (music, theatre, scenery, etc. etc.)

These girls can't all be gone.............. or can they?

MO · 26-07-2006, 09:54 PM

What a perplexing question....ok what I've found that works is......

1. Be yourself.
2. Don't be anything other than yourself.
3. If there is within your circle of friends a lady who appreciates this then ask her out,how do you know she is like this only by asking her out and being one on one.

4. If it doesn't work don't push it.

5. Never give up..take breaks from the dating scene..but never give up.

6. If its meant to happen it will never rush it let it work itself out.

7. Refer rule 1

XRated · 26-07-2006, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pertuan

Is it really that hard in this world we live in now to find a girl that is...
1. Not into expensive things all the time (getting spoilt every now and then is ok)
2. Actually respectable
3. Into some culture (music, theatre, scenery, etc. etc.)

These girls can't all be gone.............. or can they?

I haven't been around long enough, but I think they stopped producing in the '80s!

MITCHAY · 27-07-2006, 09:06 AM

I have come to the conclusion, that all the decent chicks are either taken or not interested. The more money you have, the more they want from you. You can be great in every way and they will find some way to be a d**khed to you. Save your money and time for yourself. Too busy to deal with a GF anyway. Somewhat negative but has been my experience thus far.

As Adam Sandler says "It's a material world and I'm a material girl..or boy"

davro_xr6 · 27-07-2006, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pertuan

I'm with davro. It seems to me that all the decent girls who are into relationships and actually wanting to be treated with respect and arent materialistic are all gone and taken. Alot (read most) of the girls I meet now are either into bed-hopping, or material things. And as far as the respect thing goes... they all want it, but are in relationships where they get treated like crap but keep bitching about wanting respect.

Is it really that hard in this world we live in now to find a girl that is...
1. Not into expensive things all the time (getting spoilt every now and then is ok)
2. Actually respectable
3. Into some culture (music, theatre, scenery, etc. etc.)

These girls can't all be gone.............. or can they?

Could not have said it better - thats all that there seems to be - so hence why I posted the question... Its hard to think that all the nice girls, and moralistic, or just plain decent girls in the world have gone, and are no longer driven by the romantic thought of love, but the almighty dollar... Sounds sappy, and I could get some heat from the boys on these comments

but whether they want to admit it or not, there are alot of other blokes out there thinking the very same things...

XR6Gal · 27-07-2006, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pertuan

Is it really that hard in this world we live in now to find a girl that is...
1. Not into expensive things all the time (getting spoilt every now and then is ok)
2. Actually respectable
3. Into some culture (music, theatre, scenery, etc. etc.)

These girls can't all be gone.............. or can they?

No they're not all gone... I know at least 3 girls in their late 20's who fit this bill & all are hopeful that one day they'll actually meet a decent guy.

fiery · 27-07-2006, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XR6Gal

No they're not all gone... I know at least 3 girls in their late 20's who fit this bill & all are hopeful that one day they'll actually meet a decent guy.

: I know several in their early to mid 30's that still think they might happen to meet a decent guy one day....

:

Then you get those guys that say nice things, interest you and rubbish on that they are interested and tell you that you have a great mind.... See a pic and run a bloody mile... never to be seen or heard from again (nothing like killing an ego or helping add to the issues )

:

GCFordChic · 27-07-2006, 10:57 AM

I have struggled to find the right way to answer this question without sounding like i think i am the perfect chic and every man's dream. However i have written it, continually it sounds corny and/or self serving.

It has come down to this...

PERSONAL PREFERENCE is the excuse Holden lovers use for ignoring the fact that Ford reigns supreme! LOL Personal preference is also why you will never discover what women want until you find the one person that knows you are exactly what they were looking for.
WOMEN ARE NOT ALL THE SAME! Men continually plead that not all men cheat and try to distance themselves from the 'men are pigs' generalisation. So why do you all expect that every woman wants the same thing in a partner?
WOMEN DONT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT HALF THE TIME! Why do you think it takes us so long to get ready to go out?!? I can put on 4 different outfits, change my hair 3 times and go through 10 shoe swaps before i am ready to go out, and i dont even need to impress anyone, i know who im coming home with!
WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU JUST KNOW. The moment i met Brett it felt like i had known him forever, i was comfortable yet excited all at once. I feel safe in his arms, i know we are honest with each other, i know i can act like the idiot i sometimes am and he will laugh with me, i know if im sad i can turn to him, if im stressed he will calm me down, he supports my decisions and he didnt leave me when i learnt i most likely cant have kids (fingers and toes still crossed, medicine can come a long way in 5-10 years!). What did i think i wanted before? I dont know, but i know that it didnt take me long to realise that he was exactly what i wanted/needed.

Im not the perfect woman (but i come pretty close! lol) and i cant speak for all women because we all want different things, but in the end the one thing we all want is the right guy.

So, forget about finding out what women want. Find out exactly who you are and be yourself, dont try to be something you think someone will want because otherwise the perfect woman might pass you by because of it.

Leah · 27-07-2006, 12:36 PM

Well i might as well add my 2cents worth on this one...

A few years back I met up with my best friend from high school as we'd lost touch over the years. We went out to a few clubs and I couldnt help but notice how much she'd turned into a gold digger. She would hang around band members from well known cover bands and sleep with them after their gigs just so she could say she'd done it. She also wanted to be with them for the money, free drinks and "cool factor". It didnt take me long to work out why she always got what she wanted. She was gorgeous and guys would never turn her down.

You see some chicks are just like that, gold diggers. All they want is either a one night stand or a quick fling where they can make themselves feel good and brag to their friends. These are usually the chicks at the nightclubs who are blind drunk, wearning practically nothing and usually hanging off 4 different guys throughout the night. Typically these are the ones to be weary of.

If you are talkng about the "dating scene" what are you actually referring to? Ive been with stevo for a few years now so im not really "up" with the dating scene, but have you tried steering clear of meat house nightclubs and grabbing some mates and some drinks and heading out to some trivia nights at local pubs, going to watch bands play at pubs etc, different sorts of events. Who knows you may even meet some chicks with brains.

I also think some guys have, in their mind, pictured their perfect girl. I honestly believe that some guys have their expectations way too high. The gorgeous girl you see on tv or in the magazine is great to daydream about, but will she be there when you really need her? When you want someone to cry and laugh with? I dont think so. Now dont take what Im saying as completly negative, some absolutly drop dead gorgeous girls are the complete package, but the majority arent.

I honestly believe if you want a "relationship", look at other places. Or if you are at a club/pub, dont always go for the chicks who are as i mentioned before, go for the less extroverted ones and see how that works. And try other places as I also mentioned. Trivia nights, karaoke nights, pool halls, car shows (hehe), watching bands at pubs and even the internet. All great places to find people.

I wish you all the best mate! and all the other single blokes out there!

Hawk · 27-07-2006, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XR6Gal

I don't agree with hppsc's remarks about money. If the person is confident (note: not c0cky), funny, genuine, truthful & treats others with respect, it will go a longer way than any amount of money ever will in my books.

Maybe try one of the online dating sites? At least you know that the girl is looking for friendship/relationship. Or see if your friends girlfriends know someone that you might be able to get set up with. As Melz said, just ask a girl out, if she says no, it's not the end of the world

Cheers
Kristy.

You want to go out sometime Kristy? How 'bout we play Lawn Bowls again.

XR6Gal · 27-07-2006, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hawk

You want to go out sometime Kristy? How 'bout we play Lawn Bowls again.

hehehe I did more drinking than playing lawn bowls last time....heheheh

pertuan · 27-07-2006, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XR6Gal

No they're not all gone... I know at least 3 girls in their late 20's who fit this bill & all are hopeful that one day they'll actually meet a decent guy.

Hey if they lead a healthy active lifestyle (eg. run, jog, go camping, biking etc. cause I do all that) send them my way

punkin · 27-07-2006, 09:13 PM

money is irrelevant when looking at the criteria of a partner. What caught my eye with my now husband was his dimples, smile and laugh (and he had enough guts to place a mintie on my cleavage).

Try looking at them as friends, not just as somebody to bonk. Get to know them.

Have a singles party. Get every one of your single friends to bring one single friend (preferably of the opposite sex) to the party, even if you don't meet the woman of your dreams at least you'll meet some new people.

XRQTR · 01-10-2006, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by punkin

(and he had enough guts to place a mintie on my cleavage).

This is the funniest one so far, sorry ye just found this thread, very interesting to say the least.

Let me ask you Punkin, or perhaps give you a hypothetical. If this guy had been your not so cute looking, dimpled guy you were kinda keen on, would it really have made a difference that he had the knackers to place the mintie in your cleavage?? or Would you have slapped him and probably got security to throw him out??

I am going to say the latter.

I could go on quoting most of the girls that have posted in this thread but then it might be seen as a witch hunt on my part, far from it. What I am basically trying to say is that most women do want pretty much the same things just as most men want the same, not all in either sex, and when it comes to being cheeky and quick with a witty remark I count myself as being up their, I might not be the best conversationalist at times but I can usually get a laugh in some pretty awkward moments.

Someone said it earlier, the C word, CHEMISTRY, if it's not their it just isn't their, for either party, I can't remember the number of times I have said no to a fix up because I don't see anything in the person, ie no chemistry, and even funnier is the number of times I have been rejected by girls that quite frankly I was only being nice to, never having any intention of going further lol. The thing is that if it isn't their it's very hard to try to get a response without a girl laughing at you with her friends from accross the room after she has shot you down, that is the torpedo that sinks most guys and makes them retreat into their shell. I really don't think that girls understand how badly this affects guys long term in their approach to women, especially when you try your hardest and swallow your pride so many times that it becomes almost a self torture of kinds.

I realise that most of the girls here are being honest and sincere in their responses, but take it from someone that has seen it from both sides of the dating fence, being trim,taught and kinda terrific, to putting on a few extra kilos, not to mention some greys in the temples. From both sides it aint easy, just when you thing you have a good grasp on what is expected, haha, guess again. One time I got dumped right in the middle of the initial 'courting' stage, she just went and slept with someone else coz he was cuter, so ye girls are extremel materialistic in oh so many ways, oh ye and this was when I was more in shape and really looking after my appearance, and odors lol.

As for being nice I can't remember the number of times i got called a sleaze by someone I just tried to approach, simply by being nice, and then watched them walk off with someone that i knew for a fact was a sleaze and was only just after a good time. The funneist thing was always hearing them talk about how much of a nice guy they are and how well they treated her while at the same time hearing the guys version of events, both having the same end result but just diferent versions of it.

So if you think that their are no guys out their that genuinely try, think again, coz I can tell you that their are plenty, it's just that they get shot down for their efforts enough times or get screwed over they just end up like me, hahahahaha

If anyone has seen me of late I am going for a Grizzly Adams kind of look, I really think the full beard is coming back, ah who am I kidding, we all go through our cbf stages lol