Old farts at super markets

[flappist]

I have just had the enormous pleasure of shopping at a local supermarket, in this case Coles, and I can now fully understand why automatic weapons are banned.

As it was saturday arvo every person over the age of 60 was there to pick up the "end of week specials". The most dangerous place to be in the world is not Iraq or on the edge of a volcano, it is anywhere that is near an item that is just about to be discounted. The "old fart radar" can sense 5c off on Tinned giraffe snot and they come running at warp factor 6.

Then when you finally escape the wrinkly hoardes you have to go to the checkout. Why is it each line has at least one who has discount vouchers from 1996 but insists thay are valid, challenges the price of every second item and my absolute favorite, pays in blocks of $30 to maximize their petrol discount, a whole 4c per litre off. Now this may seem a sensible thrifty methodology but the discount is for Shell and the nearest Shell is over 40km away!

So as all my frozen stuff is melting and the old farts are scratching around to save that extra 20c I decided to NEVER SHOP AT COLES AGAIN EVER, I do not care if they are cheaper.
I am now looking for the MOST EXPENSIVE shop in town because although it will cost more at least I can buy stuff without being attacked, delayed, annoyed and perturbed....

/end rant

[svo347]

Sounds like you are not looking forwards in becomming old...er

[fiery]

So you had a nice time shopping then I gather

[Gammaboy]

Originally Posted by flappist

I have just had the enormous pleasure of shopping at a local supermarket, in this case Coles, and I can now fully understand why automatic weapons are banned.

As it was saturday arvo every person over the age of 60 was there to pick up the "end of week specials". The most dangerous place to be in the world is not Iraq or on the edge of a volcano, it is anywhere that is near an item that is just about to be discounted. The "old fart radar" can sense 5c off on Tinned giraffe snot and they come running at warp factor 6.

Then when you finally escape the wrinkly hoardes you have to go to the checkout. Why is it each line has at least one who has discount vouchers from 1996 but insists thay are valid, challenges the price of every second item and my absolute favorite, pays in blocks of $30 to maximize their petrol discount, a whole 4c per litre off. Now this may seem a sensible thrifty methodology but the discount is for Shell and the nearest Shell is over 40km away!

So as all my frozen stuff is melting and the old farts are scratching around to save that extra 20c I decided to NEVER SHOP AT COLES AGAIN EVER, I do not care if they are cheaper.
I am now looking for the MOST EXPENSIVE shop in town because although it will cost more at least I can buy stuff without being attacked, delayed, annoyed and perturbed....

/end rant

Dude. you should try going shopping on pension day....

[max^power]

I feel your pain mate. They are also a hassle at the park, when they yell at me to "slow down" during a cycling time trial.

We'll all get old one day, but some people just shouldn't be living in built up areas if they can't share a 2m wide concrete path.

As for getting thrifty, the oldies take it too far. Why can't the supermarkets have an "Over 65" or a "Tightwad" checkout lane too?

[EvilChief]

Originally Posted by Gammaboy

Dude. you should try going shopping on pension day....

hahahaha ... so true thou :

[fiery]

Originally Posted by Gammaboy

Dude. you should try going shopping on pension day....

I actually now understand why here in Moronfield they have 2 Woolworths so close to each other...
The old(er) people go to the one on ground level.. whilst the other younger ones seem to flock to the one with the crazy escalators and other shops :

So many advantages to shopping online I think

[xr8chick]

ah it's all good then i have a long time to go though!! rofl

[GTS_300_Coupe]

HA! You think YOU have got it hard going shopping?
Try actually working there at the supermarket!

I work part time at Target and on pensioners day all these old people (god this annoys the hell out of me) take forever to process their sales.
On top of that, they pay anything with $50 notes and rape my cash till of any change.
They are even more annoying in the shops than they are on the road.

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by max^power

As for getting thrifty, the oldies take it too far.

My grandmother spends $10 a week on food. All Homebrand. She doesn't have the fridge running either.
She has small indoor plants which she uses to hang old tea bags on to dry them out, before using them again...and again.
She has grown her hair long because in her opinion "it's the fashion" (not because she's too tight to get it cut?), and uses $4.00 hair dye in red, which won't take to her grey hair and comes out bright orange.
Oh, and she turns off the power at the mains everynight before bed.

Worst part is, she comes in shopping at the store I work at, everyone knows her, and they know we're related. It's so embarrassing.

I'm trying to forget the time she slapped one of my workmates across the head for daring to suggest she buy a more expensive hair dye that would cover grey, or abusing the same girl about the floor sticker advertising insect spray depicting roaches crawling out of a drain, then when she didn't understand what the girl was saying, yelled at her "Don't you speak english dear?" (This workmate is deaf), and when she pointed out her hearing aid, was then told she shouldn't be working in a job where she had to speak to customers, she should be out the back "where no one can see you".

*Edit* I should add that my grandmother owns ~9 properties (that we know of), and has a 2/3 share in the family business, which has about 4 more properties. She isn't short of money, though she'd like everyone to believe she's a poor pensioner.

[fairmont1998]

I hate every aspect of grocery shopping. It just makes me angry...

[M14A-Mclaren]

Haha, I love old people stories. By that I means stories about old people, I definately don't like stories told by old people, last one I listened to was why trams were better than buses.

[Charliewool]

Originally Posted by Feathers

My grandmother spends $10 a week on food. All Homebrand. She doesn't have the fridge running either.
She has small indoor plants which she uses to hang old tea bags on to dry them out, before using them again...and again.
She has grown her hair long because in her opinion "it's the fashion" (not because she's too tight to get it cut?), and uses $4.00 hair dye in red, which won't take to her grey hair and comes out bright orange.
Oh, and she turns off the power at the mains everynight before bed.

Worst part is, she comes in shopping at the store I work at, everyone knows her, and they know we're related. It's so embarrassing.

I'm trying to forget the time she slapped one of my workmates across the head for daring to suggest she buy a more expensive hair dye that would cover grey, or abusing the same girl about the floor sticker advertising insect spray depicting roaches crawling out of a drain, then when she didn't understand what the girl was saying, yelled at her "Don't you speak english dear?" (This workmate is deaf), and when she pointed out her hearing aid, was then told she shouldn't be working in a job where she had to speak to customers, she should be out the back "where no one can see you".

*Edit* I should add that my grandmother owns ~9 properties (that we know of), and has a 2/3 share in the family business, which has about 4 more properties. She isn't short of money, though she'd like everyone to believe she's a poor pensioner.

Methinks a nomination for the most classic AFF post!... Feathers, My tummys hurtin from laughing... Flappist, I concurr totally!! How bout compulsary euthanasia at 55?

[aimzes]

yeah the supermarket is bad. i work long hours mon-fri so i have to shop sat or sun its not that they are heaps slow at the checkout they dawdle through the isles. and f**k me dead today i almost lost it. they had two trolleys side by side chatting about which dog biscuits to get. dead set 1 choose a brand, 2 if its fully grown get adult if not get puppy.... or just buy the normal one. your dogs age group doesnt change on a daily f-ing basis. get the one you bought last week.

i find they are worse in the bread dept. they squeez all the roles to check the freshness.

but what really p****s me off is when they INSIST on going to the bank or post office at lunch time or 4pm when its about to close. those are the only f-ing times i can get away from work THEY HAVE ALL DAY! s**t if i had all day to do s**t id be up there 5 mins before its open to get it out of the way.

[MrSparkle]

I intend on becoming one of these aforementioned annoying old farts when (if?!?!) I reach that age. I'll be sufficiently p!ssed off with the stupid and ungrateful younger generations to make them pay by forcing them to wait and endure endless stories and grievances.

Excellent!!!!!

[Casper]

Flappist:
Birthday:
May 16, 1959


Sorry mate.. you are an old fart!

[rodderz]

Originally Posted by charliewool

Methinks a nomination for the most classic AFF post!... Feathers, My tummys hurtin from laughing...

I got the same reaction Charlie! Thats a nomination for Triple M's tightarse Tuesday! (no offense intended feathers, it's a funny story!)

It's no wonder you see the old fart husbands sitting on the provided seats in shopping centres, that way they dont have to put up with the ladies rumaging through the bargain boxes for cheap buys, getting incontinance nappies or looking at general old people's stuff like doilies, pot pourri, mothballs for the wardrobe or packs of worther;s originals.

When I'm that age I'll be the same, on the seats looking at the scenery!

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by charliewool

Methinks a nomination for the most classic AFF post!... Feathers, My tummys hurtin from laughing...

I have SO many more stories... she can be very nasty, and quite spiteful at times (usually always the worst times).
She will never miss an opportunity to put you down, or try to show how intelligent she thinks she is because she watches TV and has been around the world 3 times.

In fact last week she told me I may as well kill myself because I have no desire to travel like she did, and I don't watch tv, so I would never learn anything.

The only reason I still tolerate her is for my inheritance.

[Aeron]

I work at Woolworths. And yes, old people suck

[GasoLane]

Originally Posted by flappist

I have just had the enormous pleasure of shopping at a local supermarket, in this case Coles, and I can now fully understand why automatic weapons are banned.

As it was saturday arvo every person over the age of 60 was there to pick up the "end of week specials". /end rant

Serves you right for living in the retirement capital of OZ

[12]

Originally Posted by Casper

Flappist:
Birthday:
May 16, 1959


Sorry mate.. you are an old fart!

[Blue Thunder 2]

Originally Posted by Casper

Flappist:
Birthday:
May 16, 1959


Sorry mate.. you are an old fart!

No, he is not an old fart yet. He did say over 60, so in about another 13 or so years Flappist, you to will be behaving like your grandmother. : Ha Ha!!!
Scarey isn't it? :togo:

[Pedro]

Originally Posted by flappist

I have just had the enormous pleasure of shopping at a local supermarket, in this case COLES, and I can now fully understand why automatic weapons are banned.

The wrinklies pay in blocks of $30 to maximize their petrol discount, a whole 4c per litre off. Now this may seem a sensible thrifty methodology but the discount is for Shell and the nearest Shell is over 40km away!

So I decided to NEVER SHOP AT COLES AGAIN EVER

/end rant

Flappist you poor sausage, you should take the time to drive down to Woolies at Urangan where you could also take advantage of the 4c off voucher as the Woolies servo is just out the front. Don't forget to buy in $30 blocks!
And drop in and say hello to my old mate Chris Hill at the jewellery store.

Pedro.

[M14A-Mclaren]

Originally Posted by Feathers

My grandmother spends $10 a week on food. All Homebrand. She doesn't have the fridge running either.
She has small indoor plants which she uses to hang old tea bags on to dry them out, before using them again...and again.
She has grown her hair long because in her opinion "it's the fashion" (not because she's too tight to get it cut?), and uses $4.00 hair dye in red, which won't take to her grey hair and comes out bright orange.
Oh, and she turns off the power at the mains everynight before bed.

Worst part is, she comes in shopping at the store I work at, everyone knows her, and they know we're related. It's so embarrassing.

I'm trying to forget the time she slapped one of my workmates across the head for daring to suggest she buy a more expensive hair dye that would cover grey, or abusing the same girl about the floor sticker advertising insect spray depicting roaches crawling out of a drain, then when she didn't understand what the girl was saying, yelled at her "Don't you speak english dear?" (This workmate is deaf), and when she pointed out her hearing aid, was then told she shouldn't be working in a job where she had to speak to customers, she should be out the back "where no one can see you".

*Edit* I should add that my grandmother owns ~9 properties (that we know of), and has a 2/3 share in the family business, which has about 4 more properties. She isn't short of money, though she'd like everyone to believe she's a poor pensioner.

This is a the same grandmother that gives you recycled Christmas and Birthday presents isn't it?

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by M14A-Mclaren

This is the same grandmother that gives you recycled Christmas and Birthday presents isn't it?

How'd you guess? :

She also points out (repeatedly) to the quadriplegic friend of ours that comes over, that he's getting too fat and he needs to exercise. :

[F6man]

Originally Posted by GasOLane

Serves you right for living in the retirement capital of OZ

Yeah got friends that live there & it was full of old farts when I was there last october for a visit.
One thing I can say in defence was it was also full of young female backpackers! if you get my drift?? :

Flappist didn't say anything about the carpark demo darby getting in & out of the joint/ :

[Hunter]

Originally Posted by rodderz

or looking at general old people's stuff like doilies, pot pourri, mothballs for the wardrobe or packs of worther;s originals.

Haha I thought the mothballs were for their clothes pockets, I mean they seem to bloody stink of them.

When I'm that age I'll be the same, on the seats looking at the scenery!

You sure the old farts aren't just trying to picture their happy place?

Anyway yes I too hate old people at the supermarket. Especially ones who pay with bloody 5 cent pieces. Actually I hate supermarkets full stop.

[flappist]

Originally Posted by F6man

Yeah got friends that live there & it was full of old farts when I was there last october for a visit.
One thing I can say in defence was it was also full of young female backpackers! if you get my drift?? :

Flappist didn't say anything about the carpark demo darby getting in & out of the joint/ :

Ah no I have that one sorted. I ALWAYS park as far from the entrance as possible. The only problem is that it seems like every time I return to the car there is a boganmobile parked next to it and handprints all over my nice clean paint.

As far as the definition of "old fart". There are old people and there are old farts.
Old people are just people who have lived longer. They are the same as they were when they were younger.
Old farts on the other hand are self centred, obnoxious, obtuse individuals who do not care about anyone but themselves and believe the world owes them.

Example of old fart behavior. On a holiday tour, free coffee, tea and bikkies are provided. Old farts fill their pockets with tea bags, sugar sachettes, bikkies etc. even though others have not had a cuppa yet.

/end rant (again)

[pauljh74]

The old farts are such a pain in supermarkets. The two trolleys side by side is a classic example. That or stopping the trolley then standing next to it while looking through the Depends. It's just inconsiderate - and they say younger people are rude. If I stop my trolley, I'll make sure other people with trolleys can get past. But usually an old fart will come up and stop their trolley..... right next to mine. Or else they walk their trolley right down the middle.
This is why I shop in the evening. Takes me 35 mins to leave home, drive up the road to the shops, shop, and take it home. The only problem is that only 2 checkouts are open with 15 people queued up at the checkouts at 10pm, but the aisles are pretty clear. I figure it's better to do shopping during the week at night than waste my weekend free time. I work 2 jobs too, so I usually have 2-3 hours free at night to have dinner and relax before I need to go to sleep.

[Yummy Mummy]

I drove out of the supermarket carpark last night, and this old guy almost backed out into my car. I beeped the horn and kept driving, then from the back seat, my 5 year old yells out "shlemiel" (a'hole in Yiddish)

The hate of the grey army at the supermarket starts at a very young age.