How to tell someone something they don't want to hear?

[TUF_302]

I currently live with 2 mates of mine, now the problem is my older mate has two jack Russells who are 16 and 17, they have basically lost the plot and wee and poo in the house most days and have lost there marbles really, they are nice dogs but i feel the time has come to do the right thing and have them put down, but i don't no how to tell my mate its for the best, he is blinded by the love he has for his dogs, no matter how bad they become, just not sure how to bring the issue up!

[Road_Warrior]

Whose house is it?

[TUF_302]

we all rent it together

[cheap]

Get yourself a dog, a fully grown dog - pick a suitable breed (Ridgeback, Doberman, German Shepard, Bull Mastif you get the picture) go to the breeds website and search under rescue dogs, now this is important look for keywords "dog does not socialise", bring dog home, the problem will go away and you'll have a nice dog!

[Phildo]

Originally Posted by TUF_302

I...they have basically lost the plot and wee and poo in the house most days...

Not acceptable. Not in the slightest.

Damn shame, but it's a rented house. Not only will you lose your bond when you leave, but you won't have a reference for getting the next house.

The urine will sink into the carpet, and the smell will remain there unless you replace the carpet - carpet cleaning alone won't do it.

If it was his house (ie he owns it) then he would have a choice, but letting dogs urinate and crap in someone else's house is wrong.

[jaydee]

Just tell him he's being cruel to his dogs, if he really loves them he'll do the right thing and have them put down, they have no quality of life and it's impacting on you guys.
He's only delaying their demise to avoid having to deal with it, would he rather come home from work one day and find one of them has died and he wasn't there for it.
Really, he needs to take a spoonful of concrete and harden up.
I did it last year to my old dog for the same reasons.
Still doesn't answer the question I know, how do you tell him? Send him a txt because you feel uncomfortable speaking directly to him so he has time to take it in and think about it.

[JAJH]

Originally Posted by TUF_302

we all rent it together

If you rent, are you allowed to have a dog/s inside the house as per your lease?
Most leases these days won't allow dogs inside.

[FPV097]

Don't be a ***** about it, we just had to do this with a good mate and his border collie same thing was happening. Ask him if he has thought about how the dogs might be suffering and that they have no dignity if they are messing themselves. We also mentioned about how much we loved my mates dog and told him it was upsetting to us as well to see her go downhill like this. It took him a few days to come to terms with it but in the end he did the right thing and we helped him bury her.

You'd be surprised how much your housemate is suffering in silence as well .......

[jstanovic]

A customer I used to work for had a ~16yo small fluufy dog. It was blind so I had to keep the door closed at all times. It used to walk (more like stumble) around bumping into things, thats how it found it's way around. It had a babies nappy on as it also used to **** and **** over the house. The bloke wants to get rid of it (in a nice way) but his wife won't do it.

At least they put a nappy on it hahahahaha!!!!

[TUF_302]

Originally Posted by JAJH

If you rent, are you allowed to have a dog/s inside the house as per your lease?
Most leases these days won't allow dogs inside.

Yeah we are aloud to

[BPXR6T]

Only way I'd put a dog down is on a vets advice, not a house mates.

[Pube Fury]

Originally Posted by BPXR6T

Only way I'd put a dog down is on a vets advice, not a house mates.

You don't need a vet's advice if you have lived with your dog for a decade plus.

You know.

[Fairlane 500]

Simple, I would just move out myself I could not live like that.

[Spurious]

I know it's hard to understand when on your side of the fence, but from my side it's clear as mustard.

Firstly, make your own plans to move (as a backup), then if you must, confront your mate. If he doesn't take it well....then move out!

For carpet cleaning, get your hands on a product called MUSTER. Spray the hell out of the affected areas before shampooing/steam cleaning the carpets, otherwise it falls under the category of "Not your problem".

You are obligated to look after no: 1

[Russ]

You said you live with 2 mates, how does the other one feel about this ? I know you don't want to hurt the mates feelings but when it has become an issue involving clean living, it's not on. They are not little puppies anymore where accidents happen, if these dogs are urinating and crapping everywhere you need to speak up or ship out, unless you are living there free of charge you are entitled to live in a clean and healthy environment. Is there a way they could be kept outside, perhaps build them a good kennel ?

[pottery beige]

Hit the curry pies

Start dropping random mungas around the house

Blame the dogs

Profit??

[Yellow_Festiva]

I would move out. Come time to split you will be arguing over who pays out who when you lose your bond. Seeing as it wasn't your dog that caused the damage will the owner of the dogs split the lost bond by 3 and pay you and the other chap their fair 1/3 share?

[Revolver]

How can anyone love a Jack Russell?

[pottery beige]

Originally Posted by Revolver

How can anyone not love a Jack Russell?

* fixed

[mik]

People are all very different animals, sometimes you think to yourself ....best i shut my mouth and let what ever happens happen, .......... on the other hand sometimes with the best of intentions you open your mouth and **** happens.

little story here,
some years ago when i owned my own truck and was making a reasonable wages, i became friends with a young bloke a few doors down the road who was a very good bloke and i had a lot of time for him, but he was struggling a bit,
i knew his dad who was in the same street across from us and everything was good, we would talk cars and general stuff and all got on well , anyway got to know my young mates wife too , very pretty lady with 2 very young kids, she would come and have a coffee and a chat on occasion.

one day i was home alone and she knocked on the front door ......... drum roll !!!!
to make a long story short she made advances towards me, and while i might be old ........but i still have blood running through the veins, i was attracted to her and evil thoughts did enter my mind through my mind momentarily, then i thought of her hubby .......my young mate and i ignored her, and with that she said goodbye and i never saw her again, well.......i did just a glimpse on one other occasion as she drove past and waved with a flushed look on her face(probably guilt ).
i`m not silly (might look it ), but when a pretty young babe makes advances to an old burned out truck driver with ailing health ....... one has to wonder if it is for alterior motives.

time went by and i hadn't seen my young mate for a while and one day he turned up out of the blue, but seemed very cool towards me, i did not mention any of what happened in the lounge room , but he did have a look in his eyes that was sort of different, which i didn't really wake up to for some time.
and i did not want to cause trouble between them, i know the young bloke idolized her so kept my gob shut.
i later learned the young lass had found another bloke and left my young mate, so for me the penny dropped she was most definitely out hunting (cougar ?? ) .

Thinking back sometime after i came to the conclusion she must have told him that i made advances towards her to cover her own ***..... hence the cool attitude towards me .

my thinking is this , at the time if i had of told him what happened she probably would have denied it and i still would have looked like the bad guy, who is he gonna believe the mother of his child or a grumpy old truck driver.

so what have i learned from this ......
you can be an innocent party and still be seen to be the bad guy.

you can open your mouth for good intentions and it could go good or bad

you can keep your mouth shut and it could still end up either good or bad

my thinking these days is if you think your in the right you should speak your mind even if it offends, and if you where bought up the other way , it is not easy to do , but this another of lifes challenges.
apologies for the long post.

[pottery beige]

Sounds like the paper plates were being handed out

I would have racked it up a notch and played the good guy

[Mr Brooksy]

Ok, so what do you know about the dogs? Are they 'just dogs' to your house mates? Or are they like family members? My guess is that they are more like family members. So going in there and telling him he has to put them down or he's being a jerk for letting them live is like saying... "look mate, your grandmother, she is a nice lady and always sends you $1000 for your birthday and Christmas, but she has done her time, just 'off' her mate!"

Unless your house mate is a physco and 'offs' people for fun, then he's probably not going to take the suggestion to kill his 'family' (to most dog owners that's how they feel) member very well is he? Oh and if he is a pshyco, DO NOT talk to him about the dogs man...

To get a good outcome all round, you really need to understand the emotions attached here. If you don't, and start saying stupid stuff the whole situation is going south fast!

As FPV097 has said, "You'd be surprised how much your housemate is suffering in silence as well .......". Respect the guy! Put yourself in his shoes!

Ask the guy about the dogs, how long he has had them, take actual interest in his history with them. Then and only then I would suggest you start asking questions about how to keep the dogs from making a mess all over the place. And how to keep the situation manageable for all. And also talk about a contingency plan.

As a person who grew up with a Boarder Collie from the (my) age of 4 to 19, when it was almost time to put her down. I knew it! I wasn't like... "wow really she cant run around and chase cattle, tennis balls and jump up and down the verandah like she did when she was 6 or so?!" I knew about it 2 years before we got to the point that was best for her.

As peeved as you might be right now, get control of yourself, then take this slow... you don't wanna ask him to 'off' his Grandma! Remember

[stevo73]

Dogs are the best people

[iCat]

I would keep discussions to the issue of soiling the house & rectifying that. That is really the only thing impacting on you.

[stevo73]

Have a heart for your mate he will know when it is time, money is not everything when it comes to your little mate, those who have never had one will never understand

[zilo]

Just tell it like it is.

You don't like his dog and it affects your friendship.

Ask him to make a choice like a girlfriend would do to you when she wants something?

[Full Noise]

Just get him to watch this. And if he doesn’t get the message, leave the gate open. Traffic should take care of the rest.

[TUF_302]

I've maned up and told my flatmate the dogs are disgusting, and maybe its time to think about whats best for them, he does understand there issue, but as some of you have said these dogs mean the world to him, he is watching them more closely now and said if things get any worse he will do what needs to be done, poor guy, can see its breaking his heart

[GasoLane]

Have you (or your mate) thought of moving them out into the laundry, or somewhere sheltered. With possibly pet electric bedding, we had one for our old Cat, only uses about 20w and is waterproof.

[Express]

I’m a mad dog lover who has never had a day without having one as a friend, a member of the family and a companion.

If someone was to approach me and said I needed to take an independent look at my relationship with my dogs I would sit back and think on it.

I’d like to think I’m smart enough to know I’m not smart enough to know what’s happening when I’m clouded by my love for the dogs.

Still I wouldn’t take their word for it, I would seek the advice of a Vet and make a decision from there.

Hell I couldn’t get upset with a mate who is only offering some advice no matter if I agree with it or not.

I’d tell him straight that you have concerns and maybe he should seek some advice.

If he’s a real mate he’s not going to want to take your head off over such a matter.

While I’m at it I should also say I’m a believer in euthanasia, the right to pass on gracefully when you no longer have quality of life.