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Old 15-06-2006, 10:54 AM   #1
superpursuit83
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Default This one is funny

I have not seen this one before, but after a S.H.I.T. start to the day it brightened me up a bit

Special High Intensity Training


To: All Employees

From: Management

SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING


IN order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else.



If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and your manager shall be responsible for seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.



Employees who don’t take their S.H.I.T will be placed in Department Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.S.H.I.T). Since

Our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don’t have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T already.



If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion of Director of Intensity Programming, (D.I.P.S.H.I.T).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).



REGARDS

Boss in General

Special High Intensity Training

(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)

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Old 15-06-2006, 11:02 AM   #2
lisa76
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LOL, how true is that!
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Old 15-06-2006, 11:21 AM   #3
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Great jokes live on, this one was doing the fax circuit in the 80's. Worked even better when retyped on company letterhead
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Old 15-06-2006, 11:38 AM   #4
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I like it. Think I might print it out and give it to my boss......
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Old 15-06-2006, 02:33 PM   #5
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cute, BUT!! be careful of Diversity laws before reprinting etc.
Its not like the OLDE days , some one could take offence etc.
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Old 15-06-2006, 03:00 PM   #6
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I thought we couldn't swear on the forums? Anyway, that one is old, but i guess not everyone has heard it.
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Old 15-06-2006, 04:51 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sam12h
I thought we couldn't swear on the forums? Anyway, that one is old, but i guess not everyone has heard it.
I did not even think about the swearing bit, sorry. And I am 38 and its new to me

And what is diversity laws wiskieboy?
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Old 15-06-2006, 04:57 PM   #8
Outbackjack
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superpursuit83
I did not even think about the swearing bit, sorry. And I am 38 and its new to me

And what is diversity laws wiskieboy?
Diversity laws is when the majority are told to keep their mouth shut while minority groups tell us how to think!!!
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Old 15-06-2006, 05:00 PM   #9
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Doesn't worry me personally, but I don't have kids yet.
We have :the_finge : & :thebirds: in the smile list, so people can't be that worried.
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Old 15-06-2006, 05:02 PM   #10
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That is so good
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Old 15-06-2006, 05:41 PM   #11
iCat
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As far as I can tell, the original post complied with all aspects of Equity and Diversity principles as lots of S.H.I.T was being offered to all employees equally and without prejudice.
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Old 16-06-2006, 08:37 PM   #12
Bossxr8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Outbackjack
Diversity laws is when the majority are told to keep their mouth shut while minority groups tell us how to think!!!
Spot on.
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